Sour
by xJasmine
Summary: The Omaticaya began life anew, but one young Na'vi still wishes for Eywa to answer her prayers. Yishat is cursed with the life of a home tender, unable to wield a bow. What exactly has Eywa planned for her? Tsu'tey x OC, Jake x Neytiri
1. Flicker

This is my first attempt at a female OC. People seem to be much harder on them and I sincerely hope this one does not turn out to be Mary Sue-ish! MORE WILL BE EXPLAINED NEXT CHAPTER. Please enjoy the story and leave constructive criticism if possible! Thank you!

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I remember asking mother how I would know if I'd found true love. She told me that true love is when one person becomes whole tribe. In that moment, that one person would matter more than the tribe, and you would give up everything to be with them. If love took you away from the tribe, so be it. That person would be everything.

I had not understood her then; how could one person become my entire tribe? I loved my family and my tribe. In fact, my tribe was my entire world. I couldn't fathom how one person could replace all of that. Thus, from a very young age, I'd decided to stay away from true love. I wanted to be a sensible girl, and having one person become whole tribe seemed not only impossible, but impractical.

I grew up picking berries. The warrior life was alien to me. There was a time when I was forced to make a decision- to become warrior or home tender. Like most of the other girls, I'd chosen the bow and arrow. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. My body rejected the weapon. I could not hold it, feeling faint every time I did.

Father said it wasn't my fault. It was Eywa's will, and eventually it would make sense. So, I immersed myself in the live of a scavenger. I picked berries and fruits, tended the fires, cooked for the warriors and mended their armor. It was not a satisfying life. I was at the very bottom of the pecking order. Whenever a feast was called, I and the other berry pickers would always be the last to eat.

The others did not seem to mind. "They protect us since we cannot fight," my sister Ma'hi said as she mended a warrior's headdress. Her nimble fingers were weaving slender vines and grasses together into an intricate design. "You should not expect to be treated with anything more, Yishat. You did not wish to become a warrior, so you should not be complaining."

I shot her an indignant glare. "I did not decide to be a home tender, Ma'hi."

"Yes, yes. Eywa decided for you. We've heard this so many times already, sister. Let's forget about this and finish your basket. You will never hear the end of it if you don't." Her long hair fell over her bony shoulder as she said this. It glittered with her health. Ma'hi would not be with me for much longer. She had reached her full age and her beauty was blossoming. Her chest grew suppler and her hips grew larger. Those eyes of hers glowed like the moon. Soon she would leave our family to mate. I would do the same, but for now I had no chances of mating. My chest was flat and my hair dull. No Na'vi would mate with me now, and it was a good thing. My sister would soon be weighed down by children, and her hair would loose its glimmer, her face would fall. I smiled.

The basket that lay on my lap was poorly made. I had not been paying attention and my fingers must have slipped often, for ridges and gaps formed in the weaving. It would do no good. Sometimes I wished I could curse Eywa. I felt suppressed here.

Ma'hi and I sat upon the ground in front of Hometree, the lazy afternoon air tickling our faces. There was nothing wrong with this particular Hometree, but I knew everyone longed for the old one. We took much time to adjust to this new Hometree. Everything from the view outside to the space between the fibers of the wood within was different. Yet no one complained, for it was Eywa's will. She was swallowing the last slimmer of light, and soon she would bring the darkness. Insects buzzed here and there, but otherwise, the atmosphere resembled a pot of sap- thick and stifling.

Then the air broke with the sound of hooves, yells and laughter. The hunting party was back. Slowly, several Na'vi emerged from the tree to greet the warriors. In haste, I looked for a place to hide my faulty basket before it could be discovered. Ma'hi grinned at me. The warriors broke out of the forest, hauling a large boar. It was dropped in front of us, several eyes watching. All of a sudden, everything was silent. My breathing quickened- this had never happened before! Why were they all looking at us?

However, my sister seemed to know exactly what was going on. She pulled her knife from its pouch and began to slice open the stomach of the beast, murmuring thanks and blessings as she did so. The warriors nodded with approval. My heart clenched. They were testing her. One warrior with a distinctly long tail began to look her up and down. If I remembered correctly, his name was A'mari'k. He was a bit dumb in my opinion. Some of the other girls often joked about his tail, and what a nuisance it surely would be during mating.

More and more I began to feel uncomfortable. There began a tickling at the back of my throat, and my skin bristled. Something was wrong. The Na'vi peopled had returned to their daily tasks after rejoicing over the catch, and the warriors were looking at me now. I was kneeling on the ground whilst they towered over me. The tallest warrior, Tsu'tey, grinned at me with his full set of teeth. "How old are you now, Yishat?"

My eyes narrowed but I kept my composure. "I see you, mighty warrior. I am two moons younger than my sister."

"Why, then you are both around the same age! And you have not tamed your own Ikran yet?" Tsu'tey's eyes darted towards his hunting party, and they broke out in laughter. Ma'hi halted her knife and looked at me with pity. She bonded with her Ikran just a few nights ago, and that was when her hand became sought after by many Na'vi.

"So what?" I ventured, hoping to not let my horror show through. Tsu'tey never spoke to me often, and when he did it was always to compare me to my sister. I had long since grown tired of his remarks. It was all because of that one time he ate a mouthful of sour fruit. He'd spit them out and demanded to know who picked them. No one said anything, but he seemed to know it was me. I rose on shaky legs, and prayed to Eywa that he would not notice. He did.

"Well, young Yishat… To put it kindly, you seem to be lacking Eywa's gifts." His hunting party sobered up behind him. They looked towards each other with some worry. Even I knew something was not right with Tsu'tey today. He was not usually like this, yet everyone kept silent. Ever since Tsu'tey lost his position as next in line to become tribe leader, he'd grown very sour. Now he exploded at just about everything. I held my tongue and backed off, hoping he would leave. Instead, he continued, "you are neither a warrior nor a home tender, for you pick sour berries, are clumsy with a knife and can't even weave a basket! What kind of na'vi are you?"

Flushed, I kicked my ruined basket towards a bush, causing raucous laughter to erupt from the warrior men. I knew my face had reddened. A'mari'k once said that Ma'hi's face looked like the face of Eywa when she blushed. I looked away and tried to control my breathing. Ma'hi had finished with removing the hide from the animal and was looking upon me with something akin to amusement. I cleared my throat, causing Tsu'tey's eyes to widen just slightly in anticipation. I opened my mouth but could not find anything to say. Countless options blurred together in my mind. Should I hit him? Should I spit at him? Maybe put a little Sourapple in his ale? Yes, that would be funny indeed. Tsu'tey, the mighty warrior, confined to his bed with his bowels turned to water!

But instead I just turned away and strode into the Hometree.

-x-

Father slapped me across the face. "Stupid girl!" He shouted, spit flying in the air. "I hear you've offended the warriors. Do you have any idea…" He raised his hand to strike again, but mother pulled him aside. "My love, I see you." she hushed, stroking his face. "Calm, calm."

My lip had begun to quiver with the promise of tears. I could not blame my father. Ever since his hunting accident that had left his arms useless, he'd looked onto me and my sister to carry on our family name. It was important to him that we did not embarrass ourselves, as sometimes he saw us as mirrors of himself. My sister and I were his contacts with the outside world. Whatever we did, it would somehow find its way back to him, and he would praise or punish accordingly. Mother gave me a look as she restrained father, and I knew it meant to run. I was familiar with this routine. Father would calm down eventually and I could return. It would be as if nothing had ever happened. Father was strange that way.

I gathered my things and stumbled out of a crack in the trunk, and maneuvered down a series of branches. I had just begun to feel balanced again when I almost ran into none other than Tsu'tey and A'mari'k. The latter Na'vi did not seem to notice me. He was holding a bunch of flowers and had a songbird in his hand, and was dressed in his best furs. His face bore a lost expression. With a pang of jealousy, I knew what he was about to do. Tsu'tey gave me a cursory glance and turned away towards his friend, dismissing me completely. At that moment I wished Eywa had granted me the ability to wield a bow and arrow. For then, not that I would be able to impress Tsu'tey, but I would be able to shoot an arrow right into that head of his and watch his life blood run down his back.

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Again, if anyone is confused, MORE WILL BE EXPLAINED NEXT CHAPTER. This chapter is really a scene-setter, if you will. The next chapter will be much longer than this one, with more information on the tribe's daily life and the introduction of Yishat's friends. No, these are not cannon scenarios. I will be making up a lot of things as I go, and hopefully they will make sense.

Jake and Neytriri will appear next chapter, and all should be explained. Please remember to review, though! Reviewcookies are good.


	2. Trigger

Thank you for all the reviews on Ch.1 of this story! =) I'm glad to know that people are reading and enjoying my writing. Here is the next installment of the fic.

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"Are you sure, sister? But… So soon? The body of Great Eytucan is barely cold!"

Ma'hi looked at me with something akin to sadness, but she could not hide her joy. "I am sorry, Yishat. It is my time. He is my mate." She twisted her hand away from mine and ran to her future mate, who welcomed her with opened arms. A'mari'k could not stop smiling. I, on the other hand, could not stop frowning.

Just as I had suspected, A'mari'k proposed to my sister that very day. He handed her the bright yellow and purple songbird, and placed a flower in her hair. Ma'hi chose not to remove it, sealing the deal. In one night's time they will leave for the Tree of Souls to mate before Eywa. Deep hurt pulsed through me, carving ridges in my heart and tearing my mouth into a perpetual frown. I could not bring myself to smile. Ma'hi and I were not extremely close, but I loved her nonetheless. It was sad for me to see her leave, especially with A'mari'k. He'd never said anything particularly harmful to anyone, but at the same time he never helped anyone either. I just believed Ma'hi could do much better.

"Do not fret, Yishat. Your time will come soon." Mother put a hand on my shoulder. She was slightly taller than I. "Do not let your sister's success put you in the shade. Eywa will provide for you as-"

"But I do not want to mate, mother." I twirled around to face her, hissing, showing all of my teeth. "Ma'hi can go mate with that scum! I don't care. I don't want any children!" Why should I have children when I could not even find happiness in my solitude? I began to doubt Eywa's will- surely no one should suffer so! Sometimes I longed to hold a bow like Neytiri, or wield a hunting knife like Jakesully. Jakesully was a dreamwalker, for Eywa's sake! Yet still he received her blessing. Why did Eywa reject me?

Mother shook her head slowly, long braids brushing against her naked back. Her blue skin was a tone lighter than mine. I scowled. The lighter one's skin was, the more beautiful they are considered to be. Neytiri and Tsu'tey had very light skin. It was believed that only warriors had light skin, for they were kissed by the moon and blessed by Eywa before every mission. Therefore, their skin color becomes brighter, bringing them closer in appearance to Eywa herself.

Our conversation died there. We looked onto Ma'hi and A'mari'k as they held hands and danced in the moonlight. Tomorrow would be a very busy day indeed.

-x-

Neytiri was a very beautiful Na'vi. In fact, that is almost an understatement. She looked like Eywa herself, with that kind smile and bright eyes. It was no wonder that Jakesully fell so hard for her. My people had a saying for Na'vi like him. There was such a thing as we called 'moonstruck'. The saying originated from the old folktale of a Na'vi boy who saw the moon for the first time and fell in love with the sight. It was as if the moon itself had shot an arrow of love onto the boy's heart. He looked at it for such a long time that eventually he became blind. However, even then, he refused to tear his unseeing eyes away from the moon. It was said he was made a part of Eywa there.

Neytiri fitted into her role of Spiritual Leader seamlessly. It was like she'd always belonged there. Many girls my age looked up to her. I did, too. Lady Mo'at now lives in a small corner of Home Tree on her own, having renounced her position as Spiritual Leader after her mate's death. Not many try to speak to her, for she had grown very distant after Eytukan's passing. His mourning was a massive event. It was also very recent, and many were still in the throes of misery over the loss. Surely Ma'hi could not have picked a worse time to mate. I was lost in ways I could not understand, so I decided to seek out Neytiri for advice.

As I made my way up innumerable branches and vines to Neytiri's personal alcove, I caught sight of our current Tribe Leader, Jakesully. He looked rather lost, but tried to compose his confidence whilst speaking to none other than Mo'at herself. I smiled fondly at the sight. Lady Mo'at loved to pick at Jakesully. She always meant well, but her constant jabbing and nagging often made Jakesully uncomfortable. Most of the tribe found much amusement in the way Jakesully would stutter when speaking to Mo'at.

"I see you, Yishat. Come to me." The melodious voice snapped me back to reality, and I entered Neytiri's personal alcove. I had been here many times before. This was one of the places where I felt most comfortable, for I knew Neytiri would never judge. As soon as I'd entered the cramped space, the overpowering smell of medicinal herbs assailed my senses. Neytiri herself was poised over a bowl of sparkling water, and her face was distant as she looked into it. She was interpreting Eywa's will, and she looked very upset by what she saw. I wondered if I should leave, since this looked like a bad time. However, Neytiri must have sensed my predicament, for she tore those big moon kissed eyes away from what she was doing and bade me to sit. I made me flush with embarrassment and gratitude. She was such a kind soul.

"I see you, Great Tsahik."

"As I you, Yishat, but please call me Neytiri. What ails you?"

"My sister has chosen her mate." I said bluntly, and an awkward pause ensued as Neytiri waited for me to continue. I did not. I had not come prepared, and now I was mentally cursing myself for being so careless. This would go back to my father, I thought with terror.

Neytiri thought for a long time before she said, "that is great news. Who is her mate?"

"A'mari'k."

"Is that what is troubling you?"

"No… Yes… I'm not sure, Tsahik." I looked down in embarrassment. I could feel Neytiri's energy pulsating off her form and could not bear to call her by her name. I was surely wasting her time by being here, but she did not ask me to leave. Instead, she pondered over my situation with the utmost care. Then, in one swift motion she grasped my hand.

"You are worried that you will not mate, Yishat?"

"That is not it, Tsahik. In fact, I do not want to mate. This is what ails me." I looked into her eyes, and she mine. She smiled, and I heard the sound of her lips sliding over those teeth. It was very pleasant.

"You are sour, Yishat. Sour like a Goongi mushroom after Eywa takes away the light." I cringed. Goongi mushrooms were infamous for their horrible taste at night. Many times as a child I had been tricked into eating them. Neytiri pressed her fingers over the palm of my hand. The flesh at the tips of her fingers was scored and rough. "Do not fret, then. I know why you long not for a mate. Your hand aches for the touch of the bow, I know it. Perhaps it is time to try again. Do you feel a drawing in your heart?"

I nodded frantically, feeling my body pulse in tune to her energy.

"Then Eywa has willed it. Perhaps you should seek out Tsu'tey and ask him-"

"No, Neytiri!" I gasped, pulling my hand away from hers with more force than I'd intended. I immediately babbled apologies, ashamed of my actions. Neytiri simply smiled once more and shook her head.

"Tsu'tey is not as sour as you, Yishat. You should not look upon him with loathing. He has suffered much more than you have."

Her words stung me in their truth. I had no right to harbor negative thoughts for Tsu'tey. He was a distressed man, much like my father. Having lost both his future and his potential mate in quick succession to someone else, this Na'vi had reason to become distrustful and cold. He'd lost his way and had to find it again, and even though he stumbled onto the wrong path at first, eventually he will find the right one. "Thank you, Tsahik."

"May Eywa keep you, Yishat, for you are every bit as lovely as your sister." Neytiri laughed as my mouth opened in shock. "I will remember to bring a gift for Ma'hi. Thank you for coming, Yishat. I will see you again."

-x-

When I returned to the alcove Ma'hi and I shared, Eywa was drinking up the light once more.

"Where were you, Yishat?" Ma'hi groaned, her back facing me. Mother was massaging oils into her hair, making it shine thickly. The oils smelled of Wepa, one of the rarer species of scent flora. The plant got its name from the first Na'vi who'd discovered them. They smelled so delightful that the Na'vi could find no words to describe them but a flabbergasted 'Wepa wepa'. I swallowed thickly.

"I was looking for stones to decorate your chest plate with, Ma'hi." I lied. It would not do to let my parents know I had gone to Neytiri. They did not like me disturbing her.

"Did you find any?" Father called from his place in the corner of the hollow, where he was brewing his best ale. Ale brewing was one of my father's great passions. It was also one of the only things he was able to do after the accident. Eywa had looked down on him and smiled. No one looked at me. It was a sobering feeling to have all the attention focused on Ma'hi's mating ceremony. I was not so important after all.

"No."

"Useless girl," father murmured distantly, though I knew he did not mean it. "Did you at least bring some flowers for your sister?"

"…No."

"Father, don't be so hard on Yishat. She is my sister and her presence at my ceremony is enough to light the whole Hometree! She is Eywa's kiss to me!" Ma'hi twisted her head to grin at me. I smiled back, aware this was an attention scheme of hers.

Mother and Father, however, were instantly won over. "What a sweet mouth you have, daughter," mother cooed. "You will make a great mother yourself."

Droplets of the precious oil were dripping onto the ground. I bent over to touch some with my finger and brought it to my lips. It was Wepa all right. The flower smelled like the most delicate of flora, like the leaves of the Tree of Souls. It was known to be backbreaking work to obtain, yet now my sister was having it slathered into her hair. Mother was using up the whole cup. There would be no more for me. The oils made Ma'hi's hair shine in a most unnatural manner. It reminded me of the rippling waters tumbling from the floating mountains, each stream shimmering.

"Yishat, get me the powdered Opay, will you?" Mother motioned towards one of the jars that lined our wall. I nodded and hurried towards the one she directed me to. I unsealed the clay jar and the chunks of Opay were there, shimmering in all its splendid glory. Opay was a type of fungus that sometimes grew on the Tree of Souls. When scraped off, it turned light blue in color, and had a dazzling shine. It was said that the first Na'vi were made from this substance.

"It is not powdered, though." I picked up a few pieces of the hard material.

Mother seemed very displeased, and spared me an impatient glance. "Then powder it, Yishat."

My chest clenched and my mouth turned sour. Neytiri had been right. I was sickly jealous of my sister and was as sour as the Goongi mushroom at night. "No." I dropped the Opay back into its jar. "I have arrangements. I cannot be late."

Father looked up from his brew; mother stopped massaging oil into Ma'hi's hair. Ma'hi herself looked at me cautiously from her place reclining on Mother's lap. I rubbed my hands together to clean it of the Opay shimmer.

"Where are you going then, Yishat?" Mother asked.

"I am going to see Tsu'tey. I will learn the ways of the warrior. Eywa has given me a sign." I held my head high and put my hands behind my back so they would not see my fingers shaking. Ma'hi's expression darkened. Father left his seat and walked towards me, a stern expression on his face. "Yishat, what sign did Eywa possibly give you to turn your mind so completely? All those years of basket weaving are all for naught, then?"

I swallowed back a heavy wave of emotion at his kind voice, for I did not hear it often. He was disappointed, I could tell. "You can't honestly tell me I was ever any good at them, father."

For the first time in a long while, he laughed and bade me go.

-x-

Stumbling out of Hometree, I was both exhilarated and completely horrified. I was free now, but at the same time I had just promised to my family a visit to Tsu'tey. By Eywa, what was I thinking? Father would no doubt seek him out at some later date and ask how it all went, and there would be disaster. Yet the only reason I'd chosen to tell him I would go to Tsu'tey was because both father and mother both held the warrior in high respect. Now what should I do? I was becoming lost in a web of my own making.

Many Na'vi approached to congratulate me on the fortune of my sister. I nodded to most of them, thanked others. It had all become monotone. I paced around Hometree, wondering what to do.

"Yishat! Yishat!" Several of my berry picking companions came to greet me. "I hear your sister is going to be mated to A'mari'k! Oh, what a pain!"

I smiled, glad that at least someone thought differently on the manner. Me and my friends jostled and laughed at A'mari'k's tail for much time until our stomachs grew painful from laughter. "What will you do now, Yishat?" Someone asked.

I sat up and searched out the voice. It was Ka'iil, a young male Na'vi not much older than I was. He chose to be a home tender on his own, and he was quite good at what he did. I'd always admired his weaving. He was currently spinning delicate vines into the rims of a well made basket. My few friends looked up at me expectantly. Paiiyi in particular seemed to take special interest in my reaction, for she straightened up completely to look at me.

"I am not sure. What am I expected to do?"

"An older sister's wedding is usually followed by her younger sister's, if the two of them are not far in age." Paiiyi said, plucking a small flower from the ground and admiring it for a few moments. Then she put it into her mouth and chewed, blue lips working the stem. We'd always made jokes that Paiiyi must be a pleasure to kiss, since her mouth would surely taste like every flower known to us. Paiiyi was famous for her obsession with plants, and tasted practically every one she came across.

"I suppose."

Ka'iil petted his braid fondly. "Have you found such a Na'vi yet, Yishat?"

"I suppose not." I did not tell them of my supposed 'appointment' with Tsu'tey, but they seemed to have recognized something different in my demeanor. Ka'iil inched closer to me and put his basket in my lap.

"To impress him," he said.

I did not know what to say. I took the basket and felt its smooth weaving between my fingers. "Thank you, Ka'iil. I see you."

"As I do you, Yishat. I think you'd better be going."

"Hm? But how do you know…"

Paiiyi cut Ka'iil off before he even began and said, "Silly Yishat! If you are out here at a time like this, surely you had planned to go somewhere."

I thought for a long time. "No, Paiiyi. Perhaps I just wanted some air by myself?"

Paiiyi smirked. She knew I was lying. "Well then," she turned to Ka'iil and the others, "how rude of us! We will leave you now, Yishat. Take many breaths, for tomorrow will come like an ocean pouring from the sky!" And with that, they disappeared.

-x-

It had long been said that if Eywa had a companion, he would surely look like Tsu'tey. The reasoning behind this was that to accomplish a balance, Eywa and her companion would need to be polar opposites of each other. While Eywa loved all, was generous and kind, her companion would need to be cold hearted, brutal and cruel. Such words were also many times associated with the powerful warrior Tsu'tey. Our people were glad Eywa had no companion.

Tsu'tey could easily be mistaken for a god. His skin shone with health and his hair was long, the muscles on his back moved as if they were individual beings. He was one of Eywa's most successful creations. Walking, running, riding or flying, Tsu'tey seemed to hold an air of grace around him. It was quite mesmerizing to look at. Even in the night, I could make out the shape of his chest. I was leaning against the fence of a training area, where warriors often took their Pa'li (or Direhorses, as Jakesully called them) to ride. I'd never had my own Pa'li before, and I could not deny I'd always wanted one.

The basket Ka'iil had given me was filled with freshly picked fruit. I'd made sure to go for the tiniest Kuuep, the sweetest fruit for far around. I'd figured if I must speak to Tsu'tey, I should at least make some effort so as to not rub him the wrong way. I did not want to do this, but if I didn't and father found out I'd lied to him, there would be dire consequences. I waited for the unexpected.

Tsu'tey looked completely immersed in his riding. His Pa'li galloped and trotted gracefully across the clearing, of which the ground became barren with the constant stampeding of hooves. A'mari'k tried to match his speed but seemed to be failing. In a few moon cycles the warriors would move to another part of the forest so that Eywa might heal this deadened earth. I did not like to think about the current state of our old Hometree. Never before had a Hometree fallen. Would Eywa accept it back into her body? No one knew for sure.

It was A'mari'k who first noticed me. It seemed as if he considered briefly whether to ignore me or speak to me, but then acted for the better. He approached me with his Pa'li in a slow trot, sweat glistening on his skin. It was as if Eywa had rubbed powdered Opay all over him. Perhaps he did not look so bad after all. Then his tail came into sight… Nope. Still ugly.

"I see you, Yishat." He nodded politely to me. Whether he liked it or not, he had to pay me respect now, since I would soon be his family.

"I see you, brother." I ground out, trying to contain my disgust at having to call him such a precious title. He, being as dim as he was, lit up the sky with a smile so wide I thought his face might crack in half. This man was catastrophically dumb! Why would anyone ever want to mate with him?

A'mari'k's eyes darted towards the basket I was holding. Tsu'tey seemed not yet aware of my presence and continued to batter the field with each gallop of his Pa'li. A'mari'k's thick tongue darted out from between his lips. "Is that Kuuep I see? By Eywa, those things must be horrendously hard to find at this time of day! May I have one?" Here I saw Tsu'tey halted, his chest heaving up and down. He looked left and right for his partner, and eventually his eyes fell on us. He trotted slowly before us. I took a deep breath. "You may have as many as you want, brother." This wasn't how I'd planned it to be, but nonetheless it was interesting. It got my heart pounding and my legs shaky, and frankly, I liked the feeling.

Just as A'mari'k reached for the basket of fruit, an arrow pierced through the weaving and narrowly missed my skin as I dropped it with a startled yelp. A'mari'k and I looked at Tsu'tey, who was just lowering his bow. His lips were curled up in a sneer. "Don't eat her fruit, A'mari'k!" He spat, "it is sour and poisoned!"

I smirked, feeling my breath quicken. "I assure you it is not, great warrior. Or perhaps to you, all the fruit under the eye of Eywa that you cannot have is sour?"

Tsu'tey's eyes narrowed dangerously, and his Pa'li stirred. At first I thought he might charge me, but instead he held his ground. "What are you doing here? This is no place for a home tender." He spoke with venom still, but his entire frame seemed to relax. Interesting… A'mari'k looked longingly at the spilled fruit on the dusty ground, thin skin broken and juices splattering everywhere. The vibrant luminescent color of the pulp lit up the ground. I wondered for an instant if A'mari'k might lick the juices right off the ground, but alas I was not granted that pleasure.

"I came to ask you for a bow and arrows," I said. There. It was done. Now no matter what happened, father would know I did not lie. Tsu'tey knew of my predicament, of how I had been unable to wield the bow and arrow when I was small. I had fully expected a hurtful remark, but instead Tsu'tey took his own bow and flung it at me. Startled, I not only failed to catch the flying projectile, but nearly fell over my own feet in the process. The warrior men laughed, faces opening like light emerging from behind a mountaintop.

I touched the bow. It was made out of wood from the previous Hometree. It was warm. Colorful feathers and vines wrapped around the bow were gathered from many moons' worth of hunting expeditions- this was Tsu'tey's battle bow! The touch did not burn me, and I slowly brought both my hands to hold the bow. I was quivering. Neytiri was right! Perhaps Eywa had finally decided to smile upon me, and I would be born again as a warrior. A'mari'k and Tsu'tey halted in their laughter and both looked at me expectantly.

Just as it seemed to be ultimate proof of my new ability, just as a new life seemed to blossom in front of my eyes, I dropped the bow. To be more accurate, it practically flew out of my hands. Clattering upon the dusty ground, it finally rolled to a stop quite a distance away. The air closed in upon us, darkness fell on us like a heavy blanket. My hands shook in the moonlight. A tear dropped onto the ground.

Finally, Tsu'tey spoke. "It is quite obvious that you are still a reject to Eywa, Yishat. This should be enough to deter you from further… Embarrassments from now on, hm?"

And then they both left. Not even A'mari'k stayed behind to consolidate me. Tsu'tey did not even bother to pick up his bow.

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What happens now? ;)

In the next chapter the plot will be expanded, and I hope by now the situation with Jake has been adequately explained. Yes, the Omaticayan tribe calls him 'Jakesully'. 'Jake' just doesn't sound like the name of a mighty leader. I hope Yishat's character has shined in this chapter, for we will be spending much time with her in the future. **Please review if you can.** I am by no means a review-oriented author but nevertheless it still means much to me to read a good review... Or even a piece of constructive criticism.

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**A question that have been PMed to me that I would like to clarify on: **

**Q: **Will there be a lot of OCs in this fic?

**A:** Yes. This fic will revolve around Yishat, even though Tsu'tey is a main character. Try to get to like Yishat, because as I said, the story will revolve around her. If you alerted/faved simply because Tsu'tey is in this fic, then I apologize. Character development and believable plot is important to me, though sometimes I don't get it perfectly right.

Thanks again!

-Jasmine


	3. Fire

**NOTE: THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AS OF FEB. 10 . 10. PLEASE RE-READ THE SCENE WITH JAKE IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY, OR THE REST OF THE STORY WILL NOT MAKE SENSE. **

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Paiiyi was right. The morning came and Eywa poured light onto the ground as if she were emptying an entire ocean. I squinted at the thin sliver of light falling onto my hammock. It was barely the time of Light, but already the commotion had begun. My sister's mating ceremony was a huge event. Normally it would not be so grand, but with the recent disaster, the innumerable loss of lives and the constant mourning had spurred a desire for celebration for the Na'vi. Perhaps it was a good time for a mating ceremony after all.

Tsu'tey's dirtied bow lay forgotten by the side of my hammock. Last night I had not wanted to leave it on the ground, so I'd taken it to Hometree with me. Eywa let me hold the bow but wrenched it from my hands each time I thought of wielding it as a warrior. It had been very frustrating, but finally I managed to get it to my home. At first I'd wanted to show it to my Father, but everyone was in such a rush that no one noticed me. It felt like I was in the midst of a waterfall. Everything rushed past me so fast, and I could just barely hang on. Ma'hi looked absolutely gorgeous. I remember tearing my eyes from her shining naked form by the side of the lake and marching to my hammock. Her skin was glowing, her teeth as white as thunder in the sky.

Today she would be mated. Eywa had blessed her.

With a sigh, I dragged myself up and rose from hammock. My heart felt so heavy I was almost sure it could bring this Hometree down to the ground in a smoldering cloud of flame. I'd seen it once. My eyes had been opened. It was possible.

I wasn't that I hated my sister, but I could not bring myself to feel the necessary emotions. I could not shake the feeling that she was making a big mistake by choosing to mate with A'mari'k. Of all the Na'vi begging for her hand, why him? He was not very smart or even good looking… Why him?

To my surprise, Neytiri and Jakesully were present in the small alcove my family shared. They took turns blessing each member of my family, and when they caught sight of me, blessed me as well. I longed to tell Neytiri of all that had happened last night, but dared not to speak. Her hands floated over my head, and then they were replaced with Jakesully's. For a moment their hands touched in the transaction. I looked up just in time to see Jakesully throw a longing glance at Neytiri, who only smiled. He was very handsome indeed, and a powerful leader. He had one of the clearest voices I'd ever heard a Na'vi have, but then again he was born Dreamwalker.

It was custom for a couple to be blessed before they mated, and so A'mari'k was here as well. He nodded politely to me but kept his silence. His eyes, however, betrayed him. It was as if he had shot a poisoned arrow right into my chest. He was not supposed to be there yesterday. I should not have gone so far. Neytiri touched my shoulder briefly, her lingering scent wafting into the air. Jakesully spoke a few words to my father, who bowed deeply. It was custom for those blessed to remain quiet, so as to not block the arrival of Eywa.

We were allowed to stand. The restless murmurings of the rest of the tribe reverberated in the confined space of the Hometree. They were waiting for us. Jakesully looked so proud in his full Tribe Leader garb that he almost outshined my sister. He held a pot of water in one hand and some scented oils in the other. I must have missed the anointing. Traditionally, the dominant mate is anointed four times with the oil after being cleansed by water. It seemed as though no one had bothered to wake me for this ceremony, or they had not wanted me here. I stole a glance at my mother, who seemed positively indifferent to me. Her eyes belonged to Ma'hi.

Neytiri cracked a tinted Opay piece that belonged only to the Tsahik and rubbed it over Ma'hi's forehead. It caused it to shine in an unnatural color, but it suited my sister well. This was Eywa's final blessing; it was done.

Like a wood dam breaking, the small hallow in the great Hometree was instantly filled with blue skin. My sister and A'mari'k were dragged out, laughing and crying and embracing. It was surreal. I had not even said a word to my sister yet on her mating day. Just as I was about to chase after her, Mother finally noticed me and grabbed me by the arm.

"Yishat! What are you doing, dressed like this? Go change immediately!"

I did not need to be asked twice. Her cold demeanor towards me was to be expected, but still it hurt. To the Omaticayan, those who do not tame their Ikran after they mature are seen as failures until they do. Mother and Father were perhaps trying to push it along by making me feel isolated in my own home. If this were any other time, I would've rushed to embrace my mother, but this was Ma'hi's time. I would have to endure this for now. I was still a child to the Tribe, and in fact, they probably could not even tell I had reached my age yet. My parents, on the other hand, knew quite well and tried not to speak of me to their friends.

The reason I had not gone with Ma'hi to tame Ikran was one I could not completely understand myself. I couldn't say why I didn't follow my sister when she left to tame hers. In an attempt to make sense of it all, I told myself it was because I did not yet look like an adult. There would be much questioning and embarrassment, so I decided to not take the journey at all. Perhaps that was a very bad choice. I had not realized I would be alienated to this extent.

It was all very confusing because Neytiri practically said so herself I would not be able to mate until I could use the bow. Eywa, on the other hand, was adamant in having me stay away from the warrior lifestyle. Did that mean I was destined for a life as a failure? An outcast? Would Eywa be so cruel? Hard as it was to accept, the best course of action in this time was to stay put and receive what Eywa had planned for me. My recent failure with Tsu'tey's bow was a harsh reminder of how little choice I had in my fate. Each time the bow was wrenched from my hands I felt as if Eywa were scolding me.

-x-

"Well? How did it go?" Ka'iil was weaving another basket, looking up at me anxiously from his place on the ground. Both he and Paiiyi were dressed in their best clothes. Colorful feathers were fluttering in the air everywhere, and the mixing of so many scents was heady. Ka'iil and Paiiyi wore long, colorful strings of beads in their hair to signify their standing in the tribe. They'd both tamed their own Ikran and were seen as adults, while I had not. My two friends often joked that I was their child and they the parents. It was quite astounding that they still remained my friends. It was believed that we Na'vi have two sets of friends: the childhood set and the adult set. After taming one's own Ikran, one is expected to not have further interactions with those who have not yet done so. I was eternally indebted to my friends for their constant support.

The centre of the Hometree was big and accommodated all of us, but I had the thought that even it was not used to noise of this level. I could barely hear Ka'iil's tiny voice amongst all the screaming and rejoicing. Apparently father's ale had been a success.

"How did you know I had gone?" I frowned, adjusting a tiny bead on my necklace. I was donned in jewelry and feathers as well, as is the custom with celebrations of this magnitude. Neytiri and Jakesully did not leave after the blessing like they were expected to. Instead, they stayed and celebrated with us. If I was not mistaken, Jakesully was currently in a drinking competition with my father. He was winning, if the cheering in the background was anything to go by.

Ka'iil shrugged and inched closer to me so I could hear him better. "Word gets around, you know. People start to wonder."

"Word?" I repeated, "what word?"

Paiiyi rolled over and smiled brightly at me. A sprig of some other flora poked out from between her lips. Go figure. "Rumor has it that last night Tsu'tey returned to his warriors very upset, Yishat. He said he'd lost his bow! Know anything about it?"

The fire burning brightly in front of us scorched my face. I did not know what to say. Did Paiiyi know, or was she just testing me? I felt Ka'iil shrug beside me. "Don't become too moonstruck, Yishat."

I did not know what to say to that either. Paiiyi rose and tugged on her braid, ordering her hair. Almost immediately, she was whisked away to a dance that had begun to take place around the fire. Ka'iil and I moved back to a respectable distance so we would not be trampled. We held a comfortable silence, but more and more I became disturbed by his words. Ka'iil always had a tongue worthy of Eywa. His wisdom was beyond his age, though most did not pay him much respect due to his small stature.

Finally, he spoke. "I saw his bow by your hammock, Yishat."

I cringed. "I'm sure you're not the only one to have seen it."

Then Ka'iil did something that surprised me. The gentle basket weaving boy threw down the latest project he was working on and splashed the nearest cup of ale onto my face. "Are you insane, Yishat? Do you care nothing for your reputation? I know you didn't steal that bow, but do you think others will believe you when Tsu'tey himself testifies against you? You've given him a reason to throw you out of the tribe!" He grabbed my shoulders and shook me like a beast. I was once startled by the ale, twice surprised by his words and thrice caught off guard by his strength. Despite having almost turned my world upside down, no one noticed us.

-x-

When Paiiyi finally found her way back to me, it was almost dark and she reeked of ale and sweat. I was miserable but I could not leave- it would reflect badly on my parents. Since I could not trust my voice, I did not speak to her until she asked about Ka'iil's whereabouts. I had to tell her he felt sick and had to go home. I could not have said anything else; for I would surely die if I told her he left because he could not stand my crying. I did not cry much, but having my future hang by the string of Tsu'tey's bow made my bowels turn. At some point I began blindly weaving through the crowd to search for Ma'hi, but she and A'mari'k were nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, Neytiri was tending to Jakesully, who had drank too much ale and neither was in any position to help me.

However, Eywa granted me one solace- Tsu'tey was not here. As the celebration drew to an end, I was still glad. The beads of my necklace had torn and somehow I was left almost naked by the end of it all, but mother and father made no remark. I felt as if I was dying. We were all so tired. I did not even care follow the crowd to wash in Eywa's waters- I dove into my hammock and pulled the flaps over.

If Eywa was the giver of all on this world, Tsu'tey would take everything away.

-x-

The next morning brought on much confusion. It was a beautiful day, and the crisp air outside beckoned for children to play. However, today the children were quiet. Typically, the Olo'Eytkan spent every morning in the centre of the Hometree with the children, retelling stories and making announcements to the rest of the tribe. Jakesully in particular is known to have a smile that put Eywa's light to shame. Today, however, Jakesully looked as if he were lost in night.

Neytiri was not anywhere to be found, which sent chills up my spine. By Eywa, what has happened? Jakesully said nothing, but a crowd began to gather at the ominous atmosphere that had fallen over the entire clan quite quickly. When I squinted I could make out a kind of stone hanging over his chest. It was peculiar, and I remembered Mother telling me about it once before but at the moment I could not recall what it symbolized.

No one dared to approach Jakesully, but finally he straightened and regained his composure. "My friends, my family," he called, "we have lost a very dear member of our tribe."

I began to swoon. My hands started to shake, for I knew who it was.

"Our mightiest warrior has deserted us."

-x-

Neytiri returned empty handed. She had found nothing. Tsu'tey had been so skilled in hiding his tracks that there was no sign of which way he'd gone. He was a true Na'vi.

Ma'hi and A'mari'k have not yet returned, but already the entire tribe began to mourn anew. Hunting was not easy in this unfamiliar terrain, and our tribe needed every last warrior. Tsu'tey's abandonment would cost us very dearly.

"If I had not drunk so much, if I had been more aware… Maybe something could have been changed!" Jakesully spoke to Neytiri only, but his words carried in the air. He began to blink rapidly whilst Neytiri looked as if she would faint. My father stiffened and went cold. Mother held his hand tightly and clenched her teeth, shaking her head but did not make any remark. I think she was scared that blame might eventually fall on my father for having brewed such potent ale. I was afraid too, but for different reasons.

"But we will starve without him!" One female shouted from the crowd, "he is our best hunter!"

Jakesully seemed to struggle to speak, but Neytiri took control of the situation. With a level expression, she weaved past the crowd and took her hand, though her own were shaking. "I see you, my child. Do not fear, A'mari'k will fill his spot… There will be no starvation."

The clan seemed to have heaved a sigh of relief. All were familiar with A'mari'k's hunting prowess. Although he was not the same as Tsu'tey, he could be trusted to fill their bellies. However, Jakesully's face hardened, "No," he shouted, "A'mari'k will not become head hunter. I will lead the hunts myself."

A collective murmur ripped through Hometree. Children covered their ears at his loud voice. He'd never spoken with such hostility before! It was different from all those times he'd given orders... This just frightened me. I held onto my Mother, who squeezed my hand comfortingly.

Neytiri spun her head around so fast her braids whipped across her face. "What are you talking about, my Jake? You know A'mari'k is our best choice, and you cannot lead hunts as Olo'Eytkan!"

From the corner of my eye I saw Lady Mo'at shift her weight. She was becoming uncomfortable. I could just sense her itching to give Jakesully a lecture.

The two Leaders had a very brief, quiet argument before Jakesully led Neytiri into their personal alcove with a bow to his people, and the Hometree grew startlingly silent. Everyone was utterly confused.

Apparently, last night Tsu'tey took off on his own with his Pa'li. He left with only a minimal amount of provisions and barely a note to Jakesully. The note spoke of Eywa's will and all the usual, but Jakesully knew Tsu'tey had not meant it. He believed it was his fault that the warrior deserted the tribe.

The Hometree immediately became home to an intricate network of rumors. There was no way one could miss the constant whispering as one moved about the Hometree.

"Maybe he was kidnapped," whispered a female's voice.

Her mate laughed, "Ha! Tsu'tey kidnapped? What a joke! What's more to worry about is Olo'Eytkan! Sometimes I just don't understand him!"

I felt as if I would vomit. Tsu'tey was gone. I would not see him again. I could not bother him anymore even if I'd wanted to. He was just _gone._ I could not help but feel that I played a part in his decision to leave. Nothing was out of the ordinary when I last saw him… Had I somehow offended him? No, he would not leave just because he was offended… But Tsu'tey would not have left so suddenly just because of some sign from Eywa.

Any why was Jakesully so against A'mari'k becoming head hunter? Even I could not deny his skill. Did Jakesully know something I did not? Something Ma'hi did not?

I did not have much time to ponder on this subject, for Paiiyi pulled me aside and looked hard into me. "I see you," she hissed almost venomously. "At first I had guessed, but now I know. I came to wake you this morning, and you seem to have acquired quite a pretty ornament." Seeing me cower, she pulled me away from the general commotion until we were outside. I felt Eywa's warm breath on my skin, and thought she was laughing.

"I did not know this would happen, Paiiyi! I didn't do anything!" I wrenched my arm away from her cold grasp, only to have her push me to the ground.

She stood seething at me for quite some time before she turned on one heel. Then she had her back facing me, as if trying to decide the next course of action. I gave her the time she needed, though in the back of my mind I could not help but think back to the bow hanging on my hammock. So Paiiyi had seen it. Why had Tsu'tey left without it? Surely it would have been no problem for him to come in the night and take it. Could it be that it was a split second decision? Could it be-?

"Well, I suppose all is not lost, Yishat." Paiiyi was speaking to me again, though her voice presented no emotion. "You can forget about everything and live as you will. It is not completely your fault, but when they find that bow in your hammock…"

Then it became clear to me; Ka'iil had been right. Tsu'tey had left his bow with me on purpose, because he knew his leaving would be mourned. He knew its cause would be investigated and eventually I would be pinned as a culprit. Even though they had no proof of any wrongdoings on my part, the fact that I had his most treasured bow would mean everything. I would be interrogated for information. I would be ruined. It did not matter that I had not done anything wrong. He knew my family cared not for me, for unless I bonded with an Ikran I was not even part of the tribe. There would be no one credible to defend me, not even Neytiri. In addition, he'd left A'mari'k with us, who could testify to the encounter. Had Tsu'tey planned all of this from the beginning?

I took a deep, tremulous breath, looking back and forth between Paiiyi and the Hometree. "Let them think what they will. I will keep silent and hide the bow. They will not suspect anything." Having nothing to lose, I began to recite in brief detail the encounter between Tsu'tey and I.

My tall friend tilted her head off to the side but said nothing.

"Everyone is aware of Tsu'tey's relations with Jakesully. He cannot bear the sight of him! And Ney- the Tsahik and he are so uncomfortable with each other… Perhaps everyone will just suspect that as his reason for leaving? It is not so improbable, is it? A-and A'mari'k can't possibly scheme against anyone!" I wrung my hands, aware of how ridiculous I must be looking at the moment. The winds blew in my face, and every gust felt like a slap in the face from Eywa. I felt tears prickling at my eyes but dared not free them. Not in front of Paiiyi, anyway.

Paiiyi shook her decorated head and took a step back from me, then stepped towards me. She looked as if she had yet to decide her position with me. "I suppose you could do that… But why do you not use proper honors when referring to the Olo'Eytkan? You use proper honors when you speak of the Tsahik…" At first it sounded like a lighthearted change of subject, but I knew its cause ran deeper than that. Paiiyi was testing me; she was wondering if I would betray the tribe or not.

However, even if I'd wanted to lie I would not have been able to find any suitable response. Jakesully was not born one of us and still had much to learn about our customs. While he was a 'good leader' when it came to leading his peoples, he had never really come off to me as socially adequate. Jakesully spoke mostly to the warriors and just about never spoke to any of the home tenders. Sometimes he confused me greatly, like he did today. Although despite all this it should not bother me. I was, after all, at the very bottom of the hierarchy and not yet part of the tribe. I could not even say what exactly caused me to hold this pointless grudge. Nonetheless, I was left speechless. My eyes pleaded for her forgiveness, but more and more so I felt as if I were digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole in the ground and soon Eywa would come and take my life and I would not be able to join with her into the afterlife and-

"Alright then," Paiiyi shrugged. "Well, Yishat, let's go and hide that bow."

-x-

Ma'hi returned to us in the late afternoon with a most sated expression. Mother and her spoke for hours, and immediately afterwards she left with her few belongings to live with A'mari'k. Goodbyes were apparently exchanged, but once again no one came to get me. It was now evident the severity of the dishonor I seemed to be bringing my family. They not only left me out of mandatory family rituals but grew distant towards me in general. At first it had been a little flicker of annoyance here and there, but now the feeling swallowed me whole.

I'd entertained the idea of finally going out to tame my own Ikran, but more often than not I just thought of Jakesully laughing at me and it would always be enough to deter me. In addition, I thought, this was still Ma'hi's time. She was the talk of the village and she loved the attention. Let her have it, then. Once she grows big with child she may not have this opportunity again.

I did not even get to speak to my sister until nights later. Paiiyi and I hid the treacherous bow with my growing collection of failed baskets. Mother and Father never paid much attention to those baskets, and hardly ever touched them. After the days passed with no change, I was beginning to find some balance with my emotions and fears. To my surprise, I seemed to have overestimated Tsu'tey's reputation. The home tenders cared not for him, except for the select few females who found his shoulders startlingly (and disturbingly) attractive. They mourned for a night or so, but everyone else seemed to be generally content with his not being here. It was either that or they were all so devastated they couldn't say a word. It was most likely the former, though. I had forgotten about how much they all resented his negative attitude- perhaps things would work out alright after all.

Ma'hi was busy sweeping the front of A'mari'k's personal alcove in a secluded corner of the Hometree when I arrived. There was a faded glimmer on her face from residue of the powdered Opay that had not been washed off. The entire space smelled of her scent.

"Sister!" With a smile as wide as entire rivers crossing her face, she sprang towards me and engulfed me in a tight embrace. "How are you?"

"Fine." I smiled meekly, craning my neck in an attempt to steal a glance at her new home. It seemed to be very orderly and the space was much bigger than ours. Hunters were often given large rooms since they liked to have many sons.

Without any pause, Ma'hi began reciting the intrigues of her new life. Apparently she enjoyed having a mate to wake up beside every morning and the simple pleasures of mending only her mate's clothes. She loved to cook for him in particular since he enjoyed just about anything. I chuckled despite myself; this was just how I'd imagined A'mari'k.

Ma'hi was so caught up in her story she could barely breathe. "We are going to try for a child! We will have our little prince!"

"My joy to you, sister," I said almost automatically and received a kiss on the cheek for my efforts. "I take it your mating was a resounding success?"

"Eywa has truly blessed me." Ma'hi smiled once more, and begun once again to chatter on and on about her home life. I was completely forgotten. It seemed surreal, for she did not even care to offer me a seat. I stood there like an idiot at her doorway until finally she asked me when I would go and tame my own Ikran. "I would love to go to your mating ceremony, sister. I pray to Eywa you will mate soon."

I shifted my weight, meticulously studying each piece of carved furniture in the room. Ma'hi now lived in luxury compared to our standards. "I suppose I should go soon… But I have not yet found the perfect mate." I did not want to have to rely on one person… No one could become my 'whole tribe'! But that was years ago, and now, as my relations with friends and family started to shake, I was not so sure. Did I want what Ma'hi had with A'mari'k?

She flashed a toothy grin at me and whispered, "You don't have to love him, sister."

I started. "What was that supposed to mean? You're telling me you don't love A'mari'k?"

Ma'hi rolled her eyes and put her hands on her waist. "I didn't say that, Yishat. You are still childish! You jump to conclusions. I'm just saying there doesn't necessarily have to be love."

Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions again, but if we were total strangers and she'd said that to me, I would think she was trying to imply I would never find love. I frowned and was just about to speak when A'mari'k brushed past me.

"I see you, Yishat," he reached out on tapped me on the shoulder, a polite gesture. Ma'hi was practically fawning over him, but something in his eyes set off alarms in my head. There was no sense of hostility in his posture or expression, but something about him just emanated negativity… He was a different person, but I couldn't point out where he changed.

"Tsu'tey's leaving is quite unfortunate, is it not?" A'mari'k continued, sliding an arm around Ma'hi's waist. Ma'hi nodded her approval, but other than that it seemed she did not know of my encounter with Tsu'tey. I started to feel as if I were being watched for my every reaction. This was no longer a happy family reunion.

"Yes, it is very unfortunate."

A'mari'k grinned, showing all his sharp teeth. "Well, no matter! We will not starve. I am the Leader of the Warriors now." I should have been relieved, but I could see this was not the end. A'mari'k was planning something.

He and Ma'hi then shared a long, passionate embrace accented with murmured words and kisses. I felt sick watching them, not sure if I should leave or not. Then A'mari'k's eyes flickered towards me. It was as if he was smirking with his eyes. Once again I noticed starkly that something was different about him, and it was obvious he was trying to insult me but I was missing something.

Then, all at once I understood. Despite Jakesully's protesting the day before, the role of Lead Hunter was still bestowed to A'mari'k. In fact he might not even know about the Olo'Eytkan's outburst. As leader of the warriors, A'mari'k had had taken to wearing Tsu'tey's hairstyle. He'd shaved his head and wore his sole braid proudly, just as Tsu'tey had. Therefore, in essence, Tsu'tey was kissing my sister.

I had so severely underestimated A'mari'k.

-x-

Neytiri took a long, hard look at me when I stepped into her alcove. She looked more tired than usual and seemed to be glaring into nothing in particular. I had not meant to come here, but I felt I would burst if I did not speak to her as I always did when something bothered me. Neytiri never minded that I was not formally a part of the tribe yet. As far as she was concerned, I cared for the wellbeing of the tribe and that was enough. However, despite this I sometimes wondered to what extent Eywa controlled her. If Eywa told Neytiri she should be kind to me, Neytiri would follow her will without question. What would Neytiri be like as a common Na'vi if she were not Tsahik and was not exposed to Eywa's every concern and wish?

"I see you, Tsahik." I tried to pretend as if I did not know more than I should, but she did not greet me in return.

Those long, graceful fingers motioned to the nearest seat, and I sat down gingerly. Neytiri wiped the sweat from her forehead with her forearm but did not take her eyes off of me. Up until now, I had never really experienced being truly 'Seen' before. The 'I see you' greeting is common to all Na'vi, but it never held a truer meaning until now.

"What ails you, Yishat?"

All at once my resolve broke. I wanted to confess to her, tell her I was somehow responsible for Tsu'tey's disappearance. I did not care for the consequences at this point, but I knew I could not lie to this Na'vi… No, especially when her eyes were looking at me in such a way that made my skin crawl with the need to come clean. But before I could speak, Neytiri spoke first.

"It is unfortunate that Tsu'tey has abandoned us. Eywa works her magic in strange ways." I could not tell what she was trying to do, but I nodded along dumbly. She continued solemnly, "Jake and I are very disappointed, but it in the end I believe it was his choice to leave us. It was only a matter of how long he could stand my Jake being Olo'Eytkan before he could take no more."

I gulped, my hands clenching one of my braids. Was Neytiri trying to trick me? Did Eywa tell her to do so? Or… Or was she trying to reassure me? At this point, I was certain she knew everything that had transpired, but what exactly was she trying to do now?

Neytiri rounded her small work table and shook her head whilst pacing. "I should have watched him closer… We all should have. It is truly unfortunate indeed." She looked as if she wanted to say something more, but did not.

"Tsahik… You…" It was too good to be true. Why would Neytiri protect me like this? If anything I would expect a good scolding, but this was just uncalled for.

As if to answer every question unvoiced in my mind, Neytiri shot me an indignant look. Her next words shot from her mouth like arrows. "I did suspect you, Yishat. Tsu'tey is my dear friend and his loss cuts deep into my soul." I flinched visibly, casting my eyes downward. "You were one of the last to see him; to speak to him. Do not think for one moment that I am not watching you more closely from now on."

I did not dare raise my head for I feared her expression. It would surely haunt me for nights. "I did not think I had done anything, Tsahik. I did not mean for this to happen…" I was utterly void of courage in front of Neytiri. Her intimidating energy reduced me to a babbling idiot. I could not even string together coherent sentences in my head, such was the power of Eywa flowing through her.

Neytiri's footsteps grew more distant, and by the sounds she was making I guessed she was by a flame. Something started to burn. It was a few moments later when she spoke again, "let this herb cleanse you… I had thought to seek you out, Yishat. I was angry. But Eywa came to me in a vision, and told me to leave you be. I have not concluded what this means, but right now you are in no danger." She paused for a moment before continuing, "I am partly at fault. I told you to go to him, and so I will excuse you from all suspicions any Na'vi may have. Do not thank me; it is Eywa's will."

I smelt it now. It smelled distinctly similar to Wepa, but was spiced with something more exotic. Despite what she said, I still thanked Neytiri profusely, having nothing else to hide. At any other moment I would have embraced her, but she kept a far distance away from me. Without looking into my eyes, she dabbed me with the ashes of the burnt herb and showed me to her door. It must be very difficult to be Tsahik. Eywa's wishes must be followed, and Neytiri was forced to see it through despite her thinking otherwise on the matter.

I was choking with gratitude and embarrassment. "I see you, Tsahik. I am sorry for the trouble I have caused you."

She did not reply.

It was as if she had not blessed me, but instead condemned me to be burnt alive.

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I bet you guys weren't expecting that! What happens now? Does Yishat go after Tsu'tey? **NOTE: THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED.**

I tried to address some issues that have been brought up to me by my awesome readers (Thanks, guys!). If there are any more questions/concerns/beauty tips, please do not hesitate to click that review button or PM me. ;)


	4. Silence

**Again, just a reminder that SOUR CH. 3 HAS BEEN EDITED AS OF FEB. 10. 10. Please go back and re-read the scene with Jake if you have not already. Thank you and sorry for any inconvenience caused. ): **

**A special thanks to all the people who have helpfully pointed out things that were wrong or just plain out of character. I pray that you will continue to do so! *Bows to awesome critics* **

I have also noticed that a lot of you guys are feeling **very sorry** for Yishat. This is not my original intention, but it seems it cannot be helped. Nonetheless I hope to lessen this feeling of pity. :)

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For I while I struggled in a sea of uncertainty and fear. It was as if I were swimming against the tide, and just when I began to calm or regain my footing another wave would crash against me, sending me sprawling into oblivion. Such was life for me after Tsu'tey's leaving. I grew afraid of going out or speaking in case someone might remember something. I was horrified every time Jakesully passed by our alcove, but most of all I was scared to see A'mari'k in case I should lose control of my mouth.

Once I dropped the pot I was working on just because some woman mentioned Tsu'tey's name. She'd looked at me strangely, and I hurriedly tried to explain that I was part of his group of admirers and his loss had traumatized me. To my relief, she'd laughed and told me that her daughter was also one of his admirers.

Whilst I was living like a criminal, for the others time passed our tribe sleepily. Children grew taller; elders held funerals, flowers blossomed. Slowly but surely I drifted out of my constant fear into a sense of incredulity.

So I had overestimated everything after all. I'd blown everything completely out of proportion, and nothing was to happen to me. _Nothing!_ I should not have doubted the integrity of the clan, for we were all family, were we not? It truly was strange what blind panic could make one think. Now I found myself laughing at all those horror stricken nights spent glaring at that pile of ruined baskets. I was finally free!

I had so severely overestimated Tsu'tey's popularity as well. There was no massive mourning as if someone had died. The clan was really more confused than upset. Most of them were at peace with it and tried to work around the unfortunate event since they trusted Eywa's judgment. Needless to say, no one cared if he lost his bow or not prior to the night he fled. No one ever turned a suspicious eye against me. I was completely innocent, though somehow I didn't feel that way.

It was not that I was afraid I would be punished for a crime I did not commit, for that was all gone and over with now. In no way was I officially associated with Tsu'tey's departure, but nonetheless I felt responsible. In fact, it ran deeper than that. I daresay I missed his snarky presence. Him just being here in the tribe added sharpness to every morning, a sense of alertness every night. His fiery attitude sometimes annoyed the warriors, but without him they were void of inspiration.

A'mari'k failed to fill the gap that Tsu'tey had left behind, and despite the exhausting increase in hunts, the tribe grew a little too peaceful. Jakesully apologized formally for his lack of composure and all was forgiven, but none would forget.

To me it almost seemed as if the clan expected their Olo'Eyktan to experience no emotion other than complete wisdom and balance. Olo'Eyktan was really more of a presence than a person, and each one was expected to carry on the traditions of the last. There was no such thing as a rebellious Olo'Eyktan, though Jakesully had once come very close.

I once told my mother about this find, and she berated me sharply. "Your thoughts will lead you to your death;" she said angrily, "no one ever thinks anything like that!"

But I still believed it.

Perhaps this was not how it was in the past, but even now some still had nightmares of the former Hometree burning up the sky. We never knew the Hometree could fall. It was just not possible. But it happened… So what else is not as it seemed? More or less we were all aware that Eywa had somehow meant for this to happen but some still could not erase these images. The rest of the clan followed Eywa reverently and did not question her choices. It made me feel like an outsider for I sometimes contemplated Eywa's existence. I was sensible enough to keep this all to myself, though.

The clan's people were weary of Olo'Eyktan. Some still could not wrap their heads around the fact that he was born as a Sky Person. He did not truly understand our customs despite how much he tried. Much of the weariness was calmed after he apologized for his temper but not all were satisfied.

Father in particular grew upset. "Such empty words mean nothing if there is no explanation! I can't believe no one asked him why he said what he said… He scared our children. Never can I recall any instance when Eytukan acted like that."

"Eytukan has passed and Jakesully is our Leader now," I said to Father, aware of his fierce loyalty to Eytukan. Father had served him until the day of that accident when he was rendered unable to hunt. He'd never really taken to Jakesully, much like me.

He was not alone. As I got out more I overheard some things that often surprised me. I heard in bits and pieces plans to overthrow Olo'Eyktan. After a long debate with myself, I decided to tell Mother. At first I thought I was doing something heroic, but Mother just laughed and waved me off. "This is common, Yishat. There is no clan under the eye of Eywa that suits all! There will always be people who resent their rulers. It is natural. Eywa's children come in all forms, without which this world would be colorless. She plans for them so we may be tested, you see. The conspirators will never get anywhere- they're always all talk and no action."

I never did find out just who the conspirators were. However, I began to feel uncomfortable in the clan, surrounded by people whose intentions I was no longer sure of. Things had been so much easier when I was a child! Even Jakesully, who was often slow to notice such subtle changes in the behavior patterns of the clan, took note.

He noticed some other things, too. All along I knew I was slowly changing, but I had not known the extent of it until Jakesully stopped in his tracks one bright morning and gasped. "Yishat of T'yuhi? Is that really you?" It was the first time he'd acknowledged me personally, and after that he was merciless to strike up a conversation, awkward or not, each time our paths crossed.

I could not deny it any more. I'd begun to grow breasts and my hips expanded, much like Ma'hi's had. My old clothes did not fit me anymore, and I had to enlist the help of Paiiyi to make new ones with me.

Paiiyi and Ka'iil often visited me, and I them. Ka'iil must have spoken to Paiiyi about my involvement in Tsu'tey's leave, for he showed no sign of being upset at me. I was much indebted to her.

Time had been kind to Ka'iil, for he grew much taller and his arms grew stronger. I could no longer play with him anymore like we did as children. Ka'iil was one of my closest friends, but even I could not deny that now we were different in ways we could not help. As children, Paiiyi, Ka'iil and I often bathed together in Eywa's rivers. Now Paiiyi was looking at possible mates and Ka'iil was painfully aware of my new appearance.

One time I caught Ka'iil weaving another one of his baskets. This was just like any other time, except this time he was completely naked. I had not meant to stumble upon this sight by the rivers, so it was a surprise. It was widely known that Ka'iil often weaved baskets or made flower garlands in his spare time and sometimes to calm himself. Ka'iil did not notice me, but I could not help but feel a heat in my loins, watching the muscles in those strong arms twitch and move. Most of all, I could not take my eyes away from that thick thing hanging between his thighs. That night my sexuality awakened within me like a beast set free.

The beast tormented me every night. Sometimes I touched myself- I would feel my breasts with wonder, and sometimes I would think about how it must feel to have someone else touch them. I dreamed as well. In my dreams I was mated, but I could not tell with whom. The male Na'vi looked like any other, with a plain hairstyle and generic build. I would always wake from these dreams with sweaty hair plastered to my face and a burning heat between my legs. It seemed Eywa enjoyed playing tricks on me.

After the incident with the bow, I delved into the art of basket weaving with a new vengeance. I would not forget Eywa's injustice towards me, but I refused to admit I was good for nothing. So Eywa does not want me to be a warrior. Fine, then. I had not given up, but I would find something to do whilst I waited for the right time.

Lady Mo'at, who'd taken to mending baskets in her spare time, was unnaturally kind to me and even lent me some of her own tools. Sometimes I wondered if they all knew something I didn't- if Eywa was once again instructing the former Tsahik what to do.

Every so often whilst I was mending a basket or sewing up a tear in a piece of armor, my mind wandered to Tsu'tey. Where was he now? Was he well? Was he somehow watching over me this instant? Most people believed Tsu'tey fled to join another clan. It had happened before, so it was definitely plausible. However, it was distressing to think I was somehow becoming attached to Tsu'tey, so I pushed my concerns away. He was not a part of my life anymore, and good riddance. There was much to celebrate- my sewing and weaving had drastically improved, and it had been noticed. Mother complimented me on the quality of my stitching, and father smiled more often.

I seemed to have finally entered into a state of balance. The tide calmed and I was able to drag myself to shore. Everything was good again. Neytiri did not hold any grudges against me, to my relief. In fact, she acted as if that night, the one I would remember forever, did not even happen. Jakesully became kinder than usual; sometimes going as far as to involve me in a conversation. I was of age and now I finally looked it. Friends and neighbors began pestering me about taming my own Ikran, but I always politely refused. Some Na'vi who had never even made any attempts to speak to me before started to start up conversations with me. It was quite exhilarating to be able to speak to them, although they became uncomfortable with me after I informed them I had not tamed my Ikran.

Now that I honestly thought about it, there was no reason for me to deny myself an Ikran any more. Each excuse had been pummeled into the dust. I finally looked like an adult, and no one laughed at me now. I'd gained Jakesully's acknowledgements and he now looked at me questioningly every time before leading a group of Na'vi to the mountains to tame their Ikran. One time it had almost become too much to bear and I was just about to step up to follow him before I stopped myself. No, not yet. Something still was not right. The tribe's people gave me respect now, but it was not their respect I sought.

-x-

Ma'hi's home still looked immaculate when I entered, but now there hung about the space a dense anxiousness. My sister sat with her back facing me, looking out a partially covered window. Dim light fell into the room, which now smelt of stale medicinal herbs. Her hair was no longer glossy, now falling in thick unkempt tendrils down her back. Her skin was dulled and her eyes hollowed. She looked terribly sick.

"I am cursed, Yishat," she wailed into her hands when I pulled her into my arms. "I am cursed! What good is a mate if she cannot bear sons for her warrior?" She sobbed into my shoulder, staining my skin with her tears. I felt as if my heart was being torn in two, and I began to cry also. This was a common occurrence. I'd taken to visiting Ma'hi every time I had the chance.

Her happiness had not lasted. A'mari'k needed a son to carry on his name, and Ma'hi was unable to produce one. Then Eywa turned a cruel eye against her and Ma'hi was not even granted a daughter. She was barren. Mother and Father could do nothing for her. In fact, they seemed uncomfortable discussing the topic with her altogether. It was obvious that Mother and Father did not liked to think of themselves as parents of a barren Na'vi, but even so I found it cruel.

Upon questioning, mother sighed and told me, "I am beyond the age for advice, especially for Ma'hi. She is A'mari'k's mate now, and we are not her family anymore. Besides, it is Eywa's will." Mother's face darkened into a frown, "You know this, Yishat. Are you so obsessed with Dreamwalker traditions that you have forgotten your own culture?"

Jakesully used to teach us about his world's culture. In his world parents stayed with their children for as long as they liked and holding hands was a romantic gesture. At first, he told stories to whoever asked and no one thought anything of it. It was only when the children started complaining about eating certain foods that we started to notice a problem. Afterwards, young Na'vi women began smearing red war paint on their lips in their spare time. At this point Neytiri decided that Jakesully's 'stories' were no longer acceptable. Jakesully of course obeyed her every wish, much to our amusement.

However, despite mother's constant reassuring, Ma'hi's situation only worsened. Night after night she cried and yelled. Sometimes A'mari'k's voice rose to a point where neighbors grew afraid and begged us to intervene. Their arguments became notorious for their length and volume. Soon I began to check up on her regularly to see to her safety. Our relationship had been a rocky one, but now I knew my instincts had been right. From the beginning I'd known A'mari'k was not good for Ma'hi, but I had not said anything. Now I wished I had, and maybe things would be different. I had once been jealous of her, but now I felt nothing but overwhelming pity.

The clan as a whole mourned for Ma'hi. Whenever she stepped out of her home she would be bundled up with gifts and soft words, but this only made her uncomfortable. She began to show her face in the clan less and less, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Even when they wanted to see her, Mother and Father were sometimes denied access. Ma'hi just wouldn't open that door.

Ma'hi was not a strong person emotionally. She was sensitive and broke down easily. Father often compared her to one of his pots. Father's pots were made of a special type of clay, and he protected his creations fiercely, much like he did Ma'hi. The pots were very fragile. Hold them gently and they will not break, but they would shatter with the tiniest amount of pressure. It was all made worse for Ma'hi, for since childhood she was treasured and protected as the oldest daughter, the one who would mate first. She had never been exposed to such problems before in her life.

Ma'hi eyed my form with poorly concealed abhorrence. She had noticed my change as well. I was foolish to come here dressed as I am. I should have dressed more modestly, if not only for Ma'hi's sake. She tugged at one of my braids, "I don't understand, Yishat! Why?"

With Ma'hi being in the state she was in, I was cautious to not say anything that might offend her. "It will turn out alright in the end, Ma'hi. Remember that your family is always here. If you wanted to come back…"

She glared at me with those watery pale yellow eyes, bearing all her teeth in a scowl. Ma'hi pushed away from me. "That's easy for _you_ to say, Yishat. Just because everything turned out right for _you_ does not mean I will receive the same! You do not know what it feels like to be mated, Yishat. I cannot leave him!"

I resisted the urge to slap her, and held my tongue. _Don't be sour, Yishat_, I told myself. _You finally look like an adult, now act like one. _Ma'hi turned back and forth, seething, muttering incoherent words and phrases every now and then. She was becoming insane; such was the price of having one man become her whole tribe. I did not try to touch her again until she calmed considerably. "A'mari'k is on a hunting trip and will not be back until morning," she said, "please do not leave me, Yishat."

I answered her with a heartfelt embrace and felt her melt against me. Then I cleared the table of the bowls of herbs she used to stimulate pregnancy. Neytiri prescribed them, but none worked. I knew A'mari'k was growing desperate, for being a father would bring him into a higher standing still in the Na'vi social hierarchy. It was not necessary of course, since he was already highly respected as a warrior. I must say I did not know A'mari'k very well even though we were family now. However he always came off to me as one who was never sated.

There is a song young Na'vi children sang that spoke of such a Na'vi. He lost himself in the forest but once recovered, he so gorged himself so on food that he died the very next day. All the elders warned him, but he had not listened. The children's song made light of this story but now I could not help but shiver each time I recalled it.

It was highly uncommon that a Na'vi woman was barren, and so the relationship between A'mari'k and Ma'hi became strained. A'mari'k of course would desperately want a son or even a daughter, but Ma'hi was not able to provide either. It was truly tragic and almost unbelievable that Eywa had allowed this relationship to blossom in the first place.

After opening a window to aerate the room, I unwound Ma'hi's braids and gently picked at the knots that had gathered in her hair. Ma'hi had not been taking care of herself lately. I took hold of a large pot in a corner of the spacious alcove and filled it with rainwater from a system of hollowed wood and vines which transported water from the tops of the tree to nearly each personal alcove. Every Hometree had the vines, but they were not accessible to everey room. To maximize productivity, Jakesully proposed the idea of the hollowed wood. It was a new concept to our tribe but we adapted to it quickly. It was very useful.

I laid Ma'hi out on her cot and held her head as her hair tumbled into the pot of water like snakes falling into a lake. Such a lake would do wonders for Ma'hi's health, but I did not have to ask to know that Ma'hi would rather stay inside. Now when I honestly thought about it, Ma'hi was in a much worse position than I was. I had yet to mate and was still young, but she was mated, trapped and barren. I shuddered, for I could not imagine myself barren. All our lives we've been brought up to become mothers and now to have it all taken away… It must have been devastating to Ma'hi.

"I should have known it was too good to be true…" M'ahi had a far away look to her eyes as she said this. She must be remembering the good days.

I found some sweet smelling flowers and crushed them in my hand. Glimmering juices spurted out of the common flower which I had seen Paiiyi eat many times. I massaged the perfumes into Ma'hi's hair gently. She sighed, "thank you, Yishat."

-x-

I waited for A'mari'k's return. Eywa was slowly spilling light onto the earth, and soon he should emerge from the forests with the kill. The story or song of the transition between Day and Night was one each Na'vi child knew. Some aspects of the story are dependant on which tribe they are in, but the general idea was the same.

Every morning, Eywa, who has no face or body, gives birth to the day. She takes the water from her womb and spills it upon the earth, where it transforms into light. Then at night, Eywa drinks up the light once more. All who have perished are returned to her womb with the light, where they can be renewed and reborn.

Eywa is all around us, in every living being or element. The air which we breathe to survive comes from Eywa's mouth. The fire that warms us is none other than her bright spirit. The land on which our Hometree grows is her body, and the great rivers carved into the land receive its water from within her womb. We are her children, and we work hard to maintain Eywa's balance. Such was the concept taught to Jakesully which had since then changed his life.

Ma'hi was sleeping in her hammock when her mate returned. The warriors were just colorful little dots on the ground from my altitude. The most colorful point, which I recognized as A'mari'k, was hauling along some beast I could not name from my position on the Hometree, but it looked big. Despite it being a good kill, he only stopped to drink one cup of ale in celebration. I could tell the problems at home were weighing down his spirit.

He dropped the beast for the home tenders to skin, and bade good will to all his warriors. There was no energy, no gratitude. Usually the warriors would dance in Eywa's honor after such a large kill, but A'mari'k did not call for one. I could tell his warriors were slightly upset, for Tsu'tey would have done different. It did not help that A'mari'k looked so much like the former leader either. Sometimes it was a shock to see A'mari'k strolling around Hometree, for he looked so much like Tsu'tey. That was, until one saw his tail or heard him speak.

I was lost in my thoughts when A'mari'k rounded a corner and stopped in front of his doorway. "I see you, Yishat. What are you doing here?" He'd come up so fast!

"Brother," I greeted evenly, "how was the trip?" I never got over that first sense of severe distrust of the Na'vi. We were not as close as families often were, and it was only made disturbingly clear when he openly avoided me in public and only spoke to me when necessary. In any case, with the passing of the seasons I felt the passing of my anger. It would not do well any more to contain anger, for it was negative energy. One afternoon I meditated and washed myself thoroughly in one of Eywa's rivers. As the water dried from my skin, Eywa drank up my negativity and hate, freeing me from myself. A'mari'k was my brother now, so I might as well love him.

A'mari'k laughed wearily, stopping at Ma'hi's hammock and stroked her hair gently. "You have seen me return, Yishat. Tell me now; what did you really want to say?" I watched as he brought a lock of Ma'hi's unbound hair to his nose and inhaled her scent. I could not be sure if this was a spectacle or not, but the scene warmed my heart and my face.

It was good that Ma'hi was asleep. "Yes, brother. I wanted to ask if you would lead me into the Thundering Rocks to tame my own Ikran."

A'mari'k straightened to his full height and studied me closely, giving me the faintest of smiles. "So you are ready."

I nodded. I was. This was what I had to do.

"Why don't you go with Olo'Eyktan Jakesully? He will lead a group into the mountains in a few nights." A'mari'k turned his back to me and began to strip himself of his armor. His arms and back in particular were riddled with scars and marred with bruises. I could not fathom what his chest looked like. Distantly I wondered what Ma'hi thought of all this.

There was a clasp on A'mari'k's back which he could not reach, so I untied it for him. He uttered reluctant thanks. I hoped he did not notice the coldness of my hands. I had just thought of untying Tsu'tey's armor and a cold sweat came over me. The similarity in hairstyle was particularly striking from the back. However, I did not forget A'mari'k's cruelness to me the first few nights following Tsu'tey's leaving. Whilst he did not speak to me, he being there in his new hairstyle was enough to make me shudder from fear, and he knew it. Those days had been truly miserable; I was constantly on alert and scared of everyone who tried to interact with me. It was a miracle no one had noticed anything.

I thought carefully before speaking, choosing words I knew would flatter A'mari'k. "I do not want to go with Olo'Eyktan Jakesully, brother. I want to go with you. There is no stronger warrior or advisor than you, and so you are naturally the best choice."

The tall male yawned, "you are very ambitious, Yishat. Alright then, I will leave with you tomorrow." He was naked save for a loincloth now, and was searching in his pots for something.

I thanked him and was about to leave when I saw Ma'hi turn in her hammock. Her entire form was relaxed, her face open; she was still asleep.

"Brother, please do not hurt my sister."

A'mari'k stopped mixing an herb concoction, the sudden loss of sound just a bit frightening. His back still faced me and he was completely still. "Why would I do that?"

Now he was just playing me. I tried not to let my annoyance sneak into my voice. "You know why, brother. You want a son, and Ma'hi cannot give you one. I even hear you two arguing sometimes, and- "

Now he turned towards me decisively, a hard expression on his face. His chest was bare, a smooth expanse free of scars. "I will see you tomorrow, Yishat. Thank you for visiting my home."

-x-

A'mari'k's words only stayed in my mind for the briefest moment. I did not feel the joy of what I was about to accomplish until then. I thought of registering my journey to Jakesully and Neytiri, just to let them know I would be gone. Neytiri would surely be pleased, but I decided against it just because I knew Jakesully would become very upset. I didn't understand what it was with him, but the behavior he exhibited for me was no longer natural. He became far too curious, asked too many questions and made remarks on my sewing even though he had no idea what he was talking about.

It scared me a little, because now I knew for sure there was something he was hiding from me. Did Neytiri speak to him about her suspicions? But why was he acting so kind?

The Sky people had a saying they liked to use: "Speak of the devil and he will appear". I did not understand who or what a 'devil' is, but Jakesully explained that this phrase would be used when someone shows up just as you are speaking or thinking about them.

I'd rounded a corner and immediately caught sight of the long trail of feathers of the headdress that belonged only to Olo'Eyktan. I could not see Jakesully's being, but I could hear his voice. I was standing in a secluded corridor which led off to many unused rooms. How did I come to be here? I never took this route when returning home!

At first I was simply confused and moved to leave before I was stopped by sliver of conversation. Jakesully seemed to be speaking in earnest Lady Mo'at, and for once he was not stuttering. My interest held me rooted to the ground beside the very room they were in. I would certainly be caught if any of them came to the doorway unannounced, but something told me they would not be leaving soon. The recklessness of the situation gripped me with a passion. I knew it was wrong, that I could get into deep trouble, but my body betrayed me.

From the sounds of tinkling and clay pots clanging against each other, I guessed Lady Mo'at was mixing medicine. Her voice was slightly hoarse as she spoke, "The clan's peoples are losing their respect for their Olo'Eyktan, Jakesully. You did well to apologize but it is of no use. One mistake and it sticks like sap!"

"I understand, Mother," he replied dully, "I should not have shown such a display of emotion. It will not happen again in front of the tribe."

A scoff. "In front of the tribe? You shout at my daughter?"

"…No! I only did so because the information was so new… I do love Neytiri very much. I don't like this secrecy between us." I could tell Jakesully was holding back further remarks that could potentially cause offense to the former Tsahik. He was wise in doing so, for Mo'at was not kind when angered.

"It does not matter what you like or don't like! Speak to Eywa often and your soul will be given solace. Eywa will take all your sadness, anger and guilt and she will turn it into joy." I had the feeling this was a speech she made very often during her time as Tsahik. "As Olo'Eyktan you are trusted to be a confidant, and you must keep many secrets. Yes, Jakesully, even from your mate! I sense your guilt is strong, but you must work to crush it."

"I have no guilt any more," he did not seem fazed by Lady Mo'at's words. "After much contemplation and asking Eywa for support, I know fully well that I am not responsible for his leaving."

Were they speaking of Tsu'tey? My breath hitched and I covered my mouth, hoping no one had heard.

Lady Mo'at sounded annoyed, "Yes, but you are responsible to see that his gap is filled! And what of the conditions of his leaving? Did he not spend much time in your own home to make the conditions clear?"

What? So Jakesully not only knew Tsu'tey was leaving, but there were conditions now? Tsu'tey had actually _spoken_ to Olo'Eyktan about them?

As if sensing someone was sure to hear, the Olo'Eyktan lowered his voice. "I will do what I can, but I cannot stop what is inevitable from happening! The clan wanted it, so who was I to reject them of this?" Here something clattered, and Mo'at swore. I'd never heard her swear before, and despite myself I found it slightly amusing. The conversation did not make sense to me, but I took each word in greedily and stored it in my memory. Something told me this knowledge would become indispensable later on.

Then I heard something being thrown across the room, and Mo'at's voice rang clear and venomous, "You have led our clan to freedom during the war, Jakesully. But can you do it again when the war is within you? How are they to follow their leader if they do not believe in him? You will do what you need to, Olo'Eyktan. Our people need a leader. Do not worry about Neytiri, for she is only Tsahik and you are Leader!"

"Yes, Mother." A sigh of resignation. I smiled at the idea that even the Great Olo'Eyktan must follow his mother's orders.

Mo'at continued, "I sense negative energy in pockets all around the Hometree; my daughter has sensed it too. Something is coming… Watch over your charge carefully and understand you are not to trouble Neytiri with this. She is tired as it is, the palms of her hands have wrinkled from constant washing- have you noticed?"

"Yes, she is neglecting herself. I make sure to see that her hands are soaked in Chalice Plant nectar every night… It smells horrible, but it really does help…"

"Really? I must give it a try…"

The conversation drifted off to the subject of Neytiri's hands, so I peeled myself away from the wall I'd been leaning against. It was all too much to digest.

…So things were not as they seemed. Tsu'tey had a definite reason for leaving, and it was not Eywa. Thus my meticulously obtained balance had shattered like one of Father's pots. The only thing was that it was I who had pushed it over the edge. I did not regret to having eavesdropped, for now I was not ignorant. However, I just as easily could have done without.

Eywa had led me here. I was never one to eavesdrop.

-x-

Both mother and father were very pleased that I was finally going to tame my own Ikran. Mother set out a feast for our small family of three and I tried my best to smile and laugh like I was supposed to. I had nothing against it, but I my head was pounding with confusion. That night I lay awake, pondering the conversation I'd less than accidentally overheard. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. Finally I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Mother gave me beautiful bead necklace, and I promised her I'd wear it once I returned. Father was a little apprehensive about my choices, however.

"Why A'mari'k?" He asked as I massaged his shoulders. His back sometimes pained him now, and he was no longer able to run.

I shrugged, though he could not see. "I don't know." _I do know, father. But you won't like hearing it. _

"Why don't you go with the Olo'Eyktan?"

Before I could answer, Mother flicked a seed at Father playfully. "The girl cannot wait, dear. Let her go." Father picked up the seed from where it landed on his leg and put it between his lips. He did not chase me further on the issue, but father was not stupid. It was very likely that he'd already figured it out.

Father did not speak often. Sometimes he looked into the distance and just stared at nothing for much time. When he spoke his words were worth the greatest jars of Blumay. "You are like a reed, Yishat," he began sagely. "You twist and bend in the wind… And just when we think you are about to snap, the storm passes and you stand up straighter than before!"

We laughed. Secretly I thought of how Ma'hi was compared to those fragile pots and thought myself victorious. So I was stronger! But Father's pots were precious to him… Who cared about a river reed?

Mother took my face in her hands and gazed down upon it lovingly, "I knew this day would come, Yishat, and what a glorious day it is! A day blessed by Eywa herself! Is it not, dear?"

Father murmured a monotone agreement and returned to picking at his old battle scars. Mother and I laughed again and teased at him until A'mari'k arrived. He was dressed sparsely with dull colors, as did I. Ikran did not like particularly bright colors, not to mention we did not want to draw attention to ourselves. We both knew Jakesully wanted to lead me into the mountains himself in particular, so it would not do for us to be sighted now. I felt a brief moment of confusion at A'mari'k's sudden compassion. Now that I thought about it, A'mari'k should not have accepted to take me into the mountains. It was just not his role, not to mention he owed nothing to me. Yesterday I would not have thought anything of it, but after hearing that strange conversation I could not be sure of anything anymore. Nonetheless, it was my time.

"I see you, Yishat."

"I see you, brother."

Mother and I embraced once more as father shook A'mari'k's hand. I heard them having a brief murmured conversation before mother pushed me towards the two males.

We left Hometree just as Eywa was giving birth to the light. I had not known then that the journey would so drastically change the course of my life forever.

* * *

OH NO! What is Jake keeping from Neytiri? Who is his 'charge'? What were Tsu'tey's conditions? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? D: Have a cookie and wait. :)

* * *

_**I'd like to take this space to address once again a concern that has come up. **_

**Q: Some things don't make sense**. The Na'vi are supposed to be all loving, so why is all this bad stuff happening?

**A:** Since I am writing a fanfiction, everything here is from **my perspective** of the Na'vi world. Some people have pointed out that some things did not make sense due to Na'vi customs (they are supposed to be all loving, perfect world, etc?) but I honestly cannot fathom such an existance. If there is good, there has to be bad. Since the main concern was the problem with the suspicion of Yishat, I hope it has been settled in this chapter.

You guys take thoughts too seriously! :D I suppose I write too authoritatively then. I'll work on it to lessen confusion.

**  
Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter! Your reviews and critiques improve this story constantly. Thanks again! (Happy late Valentine's day!)  
**


	5. Revelation

I had never been so far away from the tribe. Out here the vegetation grew wild and untamed, and I had the uncontrollable urge to touch everything despite A'mari'k's warnings.

"The journey to the Thundering Rocks will take a day at best, perhaps even two," A'mari'k told me as we stealthily maneuvered ourselves across the forest floor. Vines, branches, fallen logs, puddles and poisonous plants littered the path, making every step a potential deathtrap. I was not used to this at all, so I was very slow. Thankfully, A'mari'k did not seem to mind.

I could barely see light here, and it scared me. Was it not still morning? Why does Eywa's light not reach here? A'mari'k's back flickered in and out of my vision as he moved in front of me. He was moving too fast, but I did not dare ask him to slow.

Stray branches and undergrowth caught at my beads. They were Paiiyi's gift to me and I should have reconsidered wearing them out. It would be a sad thing indeed if these beads torn, but it was I who was too vain.

At first I'd imagined we would have a lot to talk about, but it seemed A'mari'k was a man of few words. He had changed since our first encounters. He used to be silly, stupid and seemingly incapable, but now I saw him in a completely different light. I supposed one gained a certain maturity from power and responsibility.

Suddenly, a rough hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"Yishat," A'mari'k whispered, "You are moving too fast. When I stop, you stop. Understand?"

I flushed despite myself. "Yes, brother. Why are we stopping?" With a frown, I discovered we were facing a small tree. It seemed like any other common tree, so I looked towards A'mari'k for explanation.

"Cast your eyes here, sister, and see the nest." A'mari'k pointed to a bunch of sticks and twigs in a ridge between a branch and the trunk. I frowned; I did not understand.

"I see it."

"Try to climb up and look into it. Go. I'll be waiting here." He nodded with the most solemn expression on his face. I did not know what to do. Was this supposed to be a joke? I approached the tree cautiously; aware I was surely being tested for something. The nest was actually not very far off the ground, so I only needed to stand on the soles of my feet to see into it. The light was not very good here, but I managed to make out the outline of a big, fat bird and a chick. The bird was of a very dark color, but to my surprise the chick was bright red. Its color was so bright that light almost emanated from its feathers.

I looked back at A'mari'k and laughed wearily, "I don't understand."

A'mari'k chuckled and sat gingerly upon a rock. He motioned to one next to him. "Let's take a rest, Yishat. I will explain."

I did as I was told gingerly, feeling the hairs in the back of my neck standing up. Once I was seated, A'mari'k faced me and asked me if I loved my sister.

I was astounded, but tried to keep my reactions in check. "Of course, she is my sister after all!" Where was he trying to go with this?

"Then let me tell you the story of this particular bird, Yishat." A'mari'k stretched his arms and laughed at the confused expression on my face. "It has nothing to do with the mission, but we've been making good progress. I think you should know this story."

I was not told stories often nowadays, so I was not sure what to expect. I nodded anyway.

"The Sphamik bird here lives very long, but unfortunately she has chosen a very bad place to set up nest. You see, often times at night this particular spot is overrun by Nantang. Its nest is often attacked, but it does not leave to rebuild."

"Why?"

"Because she is waiting for her mate."

"So where is he?" I wasn't sure if A'mari'k was making this up or telling the truth. Either way it seemed completely unrelated to our lives in general. I was becoming impatient. Just how far have we come? I could tell the time from under this thick canopy of trees.

A'mari'k seemed to have sensed my restlessness but only continued, "He has been killed elsewhere."

"Alright… So…"

Here he leaned forward so that our faces were so close together, I could feel his breath. It smelled pleasant. "So this bird cannot reproduce without its mate, but she wants to please him when he returns. What does she do, then? She steals the chicks from other birds' nests and cares for them as if they were her own."

I understood now. He was trying to link this back with Ma'hi. I leaned back to put some distance between us. "What are you saying then, brother? I am too old for stories."

A'mari'k swatted away a bug that landed on his shoulder, and together we watched it buzz away. After a credible silence, he stood up and faced me. "I have been thinking about the request you posed to me last night. I think you do not understand the situation."

Energy pulsed through me like a living being, making my head pound with anger. I frowned, standing up as well. I was still more than a head shorter than A'mari'k but at least I was not sitting. "Are you saying you do not pray to Eywa every day for a son? Isn't that the basis of the situation with Ma'hi?" I made the mistake of pointing at him rudely.

My offending finger was immediately seized and the hold around it tightened until I yelled in pain. A'mari'k's face towered over mine, his hot breath on my face. "I do want a son, Yishat. But Ma'hi is my mate and if Eywa wishes for me to have no son, then be it. I argue with Ma'hi because she was harming herself in attempts to conceive. She even suggested she conceive by another! I will not blame her since she is obviously in an unstable state of mind, but understand that it is not I who wants a child so desperately, Yishat, it is she! You think I am selfish, girl? You think I am a traitor to Eywa like Tsu'tey?"

My eyes widened at the mention of the name I'd fought to forget. I registered various degrees of confusion and shock at the words before that, but it all went blank at the mention of that one name. "What about Tsu'tey?" I growled lowly. "You know something, A'mari'k. What do you know?"

He seemed to have regretted his words, for he pulled away from me and shook his head, whipping his braid about. "Never mind, it was a slip of the lip. I apologize."

Caught within a sudden rush, I grabbed A'mari'k by the throat and wrestled him down onto the ground. He had not tried to defend himself, so he went down easily.

A'mari'k looked up at me with amusement. "So Tsu'tey is so important to you, is he, Yishat? I bet this is why you chose me to escort you to the mountains instead of the Olo'Eytkan? My braid reminds you of him, doesn't it?"

I felt as if I was about to scream. "Don't change the subject, brother. If you love me like a sister, you will not let me suffer like this!"

"How are you suffering then, _dear sister?_"

When I could not give a reply, A'mari'k propped himself up beneath me and slid from under my grasp like a slippery water snake. "Calm, Yishat. Here Eywa's light does not reach you, but she is all seeing." I could not see his face as he spoke, but his touch was chillingly gentle. "I just wanted you to know the truth behind Ma'hi and I. Now you must not tell anyone. I see you are still a child. You harbor much hate and distrust in you, and such is not the Na'vi custom."

_But it was you who inspired such hate in me once again._ What could I say to him? Should I believe him at all? Should I pursue the subject of Tsu'tey or leave it be? And what of Ma'hi? I could never believe she would ever try to conceive by another! It was just _not done_ in Na'vi custom…. _Not ever_. I was on the verge of something here, but I felt a loss within myself. My balance had been shattered so easily by the mention of that one damned name. I felt as if I no longer had control of my anger any more, that all the negativity had returned to me. I no longer wanted to continue on this journey. "Thank you, brother."

I did not know him after all.

-x-

"Be careful. The cliff is very sheer."

"Yes, brother."

"Go, then."

Stepping out from between the thundering waterfall, I swallowed thickly as I took in the sight of so many Ikran at once. It was a surreal sight, and it made my legs shake. I was glad I was the only one here, for if I had gone with Jakesully I would probably be dying of embarrassment by now.

The air atop the mountains was crisper, easier to breathe. A'mari'k warned against the tendency to take too many breaths, for it would make one light headed. I tried to control my breathing as I carefully moved across the jagged outcrops that made up the ground. My feet were not used to such environments and immediately began to chafe. The Ikran population had its eyes on me, but none flew away. How was I supposed to do this now, when none of them see me as a threat?

"Go on!" I heard A'mari'k hiss at me from beyond the falls, his voice almost blending into the sound of the rumbling water. "Make some noise! They're not used to such a small party!"

I had not needed to do anything. At the sound of his voice the Ikran stirred and some began to screech. Soon the entire population of Ikran on this mountain began to scream, and with a flurry of wings and talons, flew to attack me. I had the air knocked out from my lungs as I was flung to the ground. "A'mari'k!" I shouted, very much distressed. Was this supposed to happen?

I heard him shout back, "I cannot help you!"

_Thanks_, brother dearest.

Realizing I was going to be alone in this, I grappled for my knife. I always kept it with me in a holster on my hip, although it was not very sharp at all. This was a skinning knife that all home tenders were expected to use. The knife was built to slice through skin only so that the meat was not harmed. The Ikran pounced onto me, its rancid breath polluting the air, and in reaction I drew my dagger and slashed it clean across its face. Immediately my heart felt like it was tearing- oh, Eywa! I had not meant to do this! I felt the pain of the creature coursing through me, making me drop the knife over the edge of the cliffs almost involuntarily.

The Ikran roared and looked as if it was going to attack, but instead drew back. At the smell of blood, the rest of the huge beasts grew unsettled, and soon I found myself wrestling those who were charging me. I heard A'mari'k shout my name and realized I was too close to the edge. I tried to maneuver myself back into safety but one push from the Ikran's mighty brow and I was sent tumbling down the cliff.

I started to scream, only to find myself back on the cliff. The Ikran that pushed me tilted its head. A'mari'k started to laugh. This Ikran must have pulled me back when he realized I was falling!

I gave a small laugh, but it turned out to be more like a whimper. All or nothing, then. With something akin to a battle cry, I launched myself forward and took hold of the Ikran's thick neck. It howled and I used the forward motion of the muscle to kick myself up onto its back. It flung me off easily, and once again I heard A'mari'k shouting something urgent to me. I could not make out exactly what he was saying, for I'd hit my head on the ground and my eyesight began to fail me.

I think I may have slipped into unconsciousness for a moment. For that moment I reverted back to the time Ma'hi returned from her journey, a huge smile splitting her face. She was holding a length of rope which she asked me to dispose of immediately.

With renewed energy I sought for the rope I now distinctly remember A'mari'k handing to me. I had experience with the bola catcher. I played with it as a child to trap small animals and knew how it worked. The sinuous bola stretched to accommodate everything and anything it was catching, making it an indispensable tool for hunting. I almost did not manage to reach it in time but the Ikran lost its focus for a moment and I snapped the catcher onto its face and wrestled it once again to the ground with the last of my strength.

Something was covering my face. I moved to brush it away, but started when I realized it was in fact the Ikran's queue. With a shout, I took mine and merged our queues together, forming Tsahaylu. The Ikran beneath me shuddered in a most unnatural way and the bola snapped off its jaws. I thought it was done, but apparently the Ikran did not think so. It tumbled off the nearest cliff awkwardly. I had no experience with flying and I was completely horrified, holding onto its neck and I may or may not have been screaming. I honestly couldn't tell.

Just as tears were coming out of my eyes and I felt as if I were surely going to die and take this Ikran with me, I caught sight of A'mari'k. "Brother!" I shouted, "How do I control him?"

I got no discernable reply, and I knew I could not blame it on the wind for there was none at that instant. A'mari'k had chosen to remain silent.

I only had a moment to feel betrayed as a wood sprite flickered in and out of my vision. I'd never seen one before, but my surprise was swallowed by the sudden change in air pressure. I was falling again.

-x-

All the elders, all the Tsahiks before us had constantly reminded us that Eywa has no face or body.

They were all wrong.

The beautiful being in front of me could not be anyone but Eywa. Her skin was almost a pure, translucent white, but her hair was dark and eyes a fiery red. They said she had no hands, but in fact this woman had many hands. I could not count them all. Each hand held something. I could not recognize every object, but in one hand she held a skinning knife, another held a pot. I recognized some hunting knives and a bow, but the rest were alien to me.

I was standing on air, surrounded by dark. The only light came from Eywa herself. She had no face, but I could sense every change in her mood. I fell onto my knees, shuddering. Here I was, in front of Eywa. Eywa who'd dictated my entire life, who'd sent me into the throes of misery over and over again. Here was Eywa, our mother goddess and she was standing before me. Something truly magnificent must be going on, I realized, for no one ever saw Eywa. Not even the great Tsahiks were gifted by her presence. I was either very blessed or had already died.

Neytiri once told me Eywa could not speak. She told me that Eywa's will could be interpreted, but she was incapable of voice. Neytiri was wrong. Voice passed from Eywa all right, but it was of a different language. It was not Na'vi or English, but they were words nonetheless. I should not have understood it, but I did. In bits and pieces I put together phrases, and could hardly catch up to Eywa's speed as she spoke.

"My child," she was saying, "there will be three nights of importance in your life. None of them have passed so far, but you will now experience them in rapid succession. You are not to return to your clan until the first moon passes. This first moon will end your childhood and open your eyes. The second moon will strike those you love in the heart, and on the third moon you are to become Eywa."

"Become Eywa?" I repeated, stunned. "You mean I am to die?"

Eywa shook that long mane of hair. There were no beads in it; the hair was free flowing like water. It was mesmerizing to watch. "That is for you to decide, child. Remember my words and heed to them. Use the gift I am about to give you to fulfill your nights."

Then the space holding me up gave and I collapsed.

"Yishat, Yishat?" Someone was slapping my face. "Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see A'mari'k leaning above me with concern in his features. I could make out only so much, but I saw the creases in his forehead. There was not one moment of blurriness, not one moment of lightheadedness. My Ikran was no where to be seen. "A'mari'k," I cried hoarsely, "I have just seen Eywa."

He did not seem surprised or even happy like I'd expected him to be. Instead he looked as if something very unfortunate had happened. "What must you do?"

"I can't go back to the tribe until… Until… I don't know, brother." My mind was in jumbles. What did Eywa mean by the nights? Am I supposed to take literally or was there a deeper meaning?

A'mari'k nodded, "Eywa warned me. I'm not sure how, but I knew something was going to happen. Well then, Yishat, you must do as Eywa wishes." He stood up and started to back away from me. Panic started to rise within me and I grabbed frantically at his ankle.

"Don't leave me out here, brother! I have nothing to protect myself with!" Pulling myself off the floor, I could see A'mari'k's face more clearly. He was clearly struggling to decide what to do, his facial expression contorting and relaxing.

He flicked my hands away and scolded, "Eywa does not want me here! Do you not feel the coldness that has settled over this place? I will give you what I can, but you are on your own. Eywa will provide for you; you must trust her."

A'mari'k set down a sharp edged hunting knife and some provisions in front of me. Dried fruits, some medicinal herbs and a few seeds were all he could spare. I started to tremble. I just wanted to go home, wanted to wear that necklace my mother had made me. I wanted to feel the warmth of the Hometree once more, but that was all gone now. I'd have to stay out here for as long as Eywa wished with no goal or explanation. But at least I would not die, I was sure.

"I will take my leave now," A'mari'k leaned down and kissed me lightly on the forehead. His lips were cold. "I will speak to the clan about what has happened; do not fear. You have tamed your Ikran and have succeeded, Yishat. You are now part of our clan and we await your return."

With that, A'mari'k nimbly pulled himself onto a tree and was soon out of my sight. He spared me no smiles to warm my memory and I was utterly alone.

-x-

Apparently I had dropped from the top of the Mountains into the forest below. I could not believe I was not only alive, but virtually unscathed. Night was falling, and I was alone in a forest without a bow. This was practically the worst case scenario for me; I had never been so deep in a forest before in my entire life!

Eywa's words echoed in my mind, tormenting me with every step I took. I was almost convinced that Eywa meant for me to take 'nights' literally. So my life was about to change drastically, and I would have to stay out here until the change occurred. The change should take place within a night. However, I was not sure how long I had to stay in the forest for until the change found me. At this point I was exhausted and ready to submit to Eywa's will. Eywa had long since made it clear to me that her will goes, no matter what.

This sounded a little strange to me and struck me as something I wouldn't normally do or think of. However, seeing that I couldn't even keep my eyes open at this point, I really didn't care. I was just too tired, and if Eywa wanted to play this game, so be it. If it changed my life, that is all the better.

As I wandered through the thick undergrowth, swatting away bugs whilst trying to make as little noise as I could, my mind began to clear. My situation, I realized, was absolutely ridiculous. I had no idea what I was supposed to accomplish, yet I am stuck here until I complete whatever task I was assigned. To make matters worse, Eywa was drinking up the light, taking away what little of it I could see. What was that about ending my childhood? I'd tamed my Ikran; what else was there to do?

Also, I had no idea how to find food here, for never have I hunted. I was aware I had an Ikran now, but I did not know how to call for it. The small hunting dagger A'mari'k gave me was sharper than the skinning knife but would not be able to bring down a beast. I needed a bow for that, and a bow was precisely what Eywa had chosen not to give me.

Yet had she not spoken of a gift? Was this a material gift or a spiritual one? Was my gift the Ikran himself? And how am I to call to him? Have I not already been gifted? Eywa has appeared to me! I saw her! I laughed despite myself, wondering what Neytiri would have to say about that. Then, my face fell. What _would _she say? A'mari'k assured me I had passed my tests, but now I was different. I'd seen Eywa and not even Tsahik could do that. What was I now? I could surely no longer be a home tender, but there was nothing else I could do. Eywa had once again put me in a difficult situation.

As the night pressed on a more urgent matter came into my mind. Beasts roamed in the night, and I would have to find myself a place to rest until morning or be eaten while I slept. The trees here were thin and would not support my weight if I decided to build a hammock. I knew how to construct a makeshift hammock, but the materials in the forest here were limited. I'd managed to tear a large, stretchy piece of skin from a mushroom nearby, but now I needed two tall trees. I had to be far above ground or else the beasts would find me.

Whilst the threat of the beasts was real, I promised myself I would not be afraid. Eywa would protect me, would she not? I was just strolling with the cloth like material, looking for the perfect spot when I heard the howl of a Nantang. They would start to hunt soon, and they were near. I was sure they smelled me. A cold sweat breaking out on my body, I quickened my pace. Now any tree would do! When it dawned on me that they were coming for me, that I had no time to set up a hammock, I dropped the material and ran.

I was by no means a fast runner, especially in such a rough terrain. I had no idea where to put my foot, if this plant was poisonous or if that root would hold my weight. Paiiyi would know such things; she loved to go deep into the forests to discover new plants. I cursed myself for not once going with her.

All of Eywa's creations are connected in an eternal bond that none could break. The Nantang and the Na'vi were essentially the same spirits taking on a different form, all children of Eywa. The Nantang held Eywa's spirit, and so did each plant, each flower, and each breath of air I took. Night had fallen, Eywa had finished drinking up what little light was left and was resting. Could she see me now? Where were her eyes? In the sky or in the ground?

They were not far now, I could hear their wheezing breath. Soon their breaths turned into excited yapping as they neared me, and I could hear the sounds of their claws scraping against the earth. Now I was frantic. I'd never seen a Nantang up close before and I did not wish for it to be the last thing I see. The entire forest smelled sickeningly sweet, and I could hardly see anything except what was immediately in front of me. Where was Eywa when I needed her so badly?

Then I saw it; Eywa's gift. Between two trees was a stretch of vines and sinew that seemed much like a hammock in shape. What a coincidence that the vines and sinews would form in this way on their own! I was also certain it was strong enough to hold my weight. Climbing up the tree as fast as I could, I darted into the hammock, making it swing wildly.

To my surprise, the Nantang did not follow me here. I saw a glimpse of them as they neared the proximity of the tree but they turned and raced away with their tail between their legs. Eywa had protected me after all.

I breathed a profound sigh of relief, my heartbeat racing in my chest. I'd cut my feet on the rough bark of the tree, but I was safe here in Eywa's cradle. I could stay here for the rest of the night. Just as I was settling down into the hammock, the entire thing flipped over and I fell face first onto the ground below. Pain shot through my skull and immediately I tasted blood. I propped myself up in alarm, spitting out dirt as I did. _What in the world? _

I looked up at the hammock I had just been in and noted that another Na'vi had occupied it. It was dark but I could still make out his form.

"A'mari'k?" I frowned, realization dawning on me, "what are you doing here?"

The voice that answered me seemed generally surprised, "What are _you_ doing here, Yishat? This is no place for a home tender."

…Oh dear.

* * *

MUHAHAHA...

-Ahem-

It has come to my attention that I get extremely insecure about my writing right at the midpoint of a story. This pisses me off D:. I think I'm good at building suspense but bad at actually writing the climaxes? **Hm, either way I'm looking for some criticism on this chapter. **A'mari'k's character will be explained later, if that comes across as an Out of Character-ness moment for you guys. -Ahem-.

Also, I made the mistake of buying the Sims 2 Seasons, and have fallen utterly in love with it. ): My updates will lag a little; please excuse me!

Please give me your thoughts. **Thanks in advance!**


	6. The Calm

To say I was surprised would have been a severe understatement. I just sat there on the dirt ground staring up at the braid dangling off the hammock. The string holding the braid together was sewn with tiny feathers and clay beads. It was most definitely Tsu'tey's braid. Funny thing, I remembered distinctly his cruel attitude, but that did not stop me from feeling pure joy at having found him alive. If I were less decent I perhaps would have draped myself over him and cried, but alas I was not as dramatic as my sister.

"Where have you been?" My voice sounded higher than I remembered, "we were all so worried!" A hand clasped roughly over my mouth as I was dragged forcefully up the tree.

"Be quiet!" Tsu'tey hissed, his large hand still covering my face. His spit flew on my face. His breath smelled rotten and immediately caused me to recoil. In the clan we chewed sweet tasting leaves to keep our mouths healthy, but obviously there was no such privilege for Tsu'tey out here. I started to struggle but stopped when the clear cry of a NanTang sliced through the air. All I could hear from then on was our heavy breathing.

We waited until we could no longer smell or hear the NanTang anymore. It seemed to me the danger had passed, yet still my mouth was covered. It was becoming excessively ridiculous. Come to think of it, Tsu'tey was the one who'd flipped me onto the ground below in the first place! I tried to speak but only muffled cries came through, so I bared my teeth and bit into his hand. I would never have dared to do this before but the smell of the forest, the insects chirping and danger looming all around grabbed at me. It was as if I were becoming part of the forest itself- wild.

Instead of crying out and withdrawing his hand like I'd expected, he only chuckled behind me, his chest vibrating against my back. "Your teeth are weak! Have you eaten only fruits all your life?"

I had only a moment to gain my humility again and feel extremely embarrassed. There is this feeling that we get in our nose in the moment just before tears gush from our eyes- that feeling was hitting me hard.

To my relief he did withdraw his hand. "Now tell me why you are out here. Did they send you to look for me?" He laid back and waited for my answer, but at the same time I was made aware of our compromising position in the small hammock. It had not been small to me when I was the only one in it! I could not see anything but I felt his chest against my back. I was lifted gently up and down by his breathing. I could not find myself to reply because partly I could not even understand his question in my weakened state of mind. My world was spinning first from the realization that he was alive, and second from the mix of emotions and body positions I was flipped to and fro by.

Instead, my mind wandered: what did Tsu'tey look like now? Was his face riddled with scars? Did he still have two eyes?

A sigh escaped him. "Fine then, speak to me in the morning. You may sleep in my hammock tonight."

Something hit me as dangerously wrong. Tsu'tey was being too kind. From what I knew of him, it would've made more sense if he'd just kicked me out of his hammock and left me for the beasts. Or perhaps he would even kill me and eat my flesh, (alright, maybe not) but offering me his own hammock?

Before I could reply the hammock swung, free of his weight. The night died away in silence.

* * *

I did not open my eyes although I knew light had already settled. It was morning but all was too quiet. The unreal feeling of lying suspended upon Tsu'tey's hammock made each breath uneven. Was he watching me? Could he tell I was already awake? If I opened my eyes now, would this all be gone?

My mind cleared. I was to bring Tsu'tey back to the clan! Last night had been the first night! It had to be! Eywa was right in saying the nights would come quickly in fast succession. My life was changing. Did that mean I could return to the clan today? I could not remember what came next after the first night as of now, but I was sure I would recall it sometime today. Eywa's words are never forgotten, such was her curse.

I was not sure if Tsu'tey was anywhere near me. I could not tell for sure what he would do if I woke, so I kept my eyes dutifully closed. Last night had been a blur, but I did remember his kindness. Why? Was he not the man who hurt me so terribly with his words? Why would he offer me his own hammock in my time of need? I simply could not make any sense of it.

Na'vi warriors were stealthy and moved quietly, so I listened for quite some time for any signs of movement. Tsu'tey was no where near. Feeling a loss in my mind, I opened my eyes and was immediately assaulted with direct light.

It took a while to get used to. I scoffed, wiping my eyes which had begun to tear up. It was just like Tsu'tey to find the one spot in this entire forest that let through such light. Did he look up at the light every morning like he used to in the clan? He no longer had a home, I realized. Back in the clan he had a spacious home with everything he could ever need… But out here he had to provide for himself every day. There was only a hammock for him, the barest of all necessities.

In the light I could clearly make out the woven fibers of the hammock. It had not been a natural occurrence after all. Tsu'tey had made this hammock himself, and by the looks of it, had done a very good job. I had not known any warriors possessed such skill. I drew my fingertips over the material, feeling it stretch and pull. The floor beneath me was a circle of dirt, a stark contrast with the layers and layers of vegetation growing all around. It seemed a fire had once been burning there. A small pile of charred twigs and burnt leaves was being blown to and fro by the lazy morning breeze.

I brought my nose up to the air and took a deep breath in, taking in all the details I could. There was the constant lingering scent of beasts, which made me question Tsu'tey's intentions. He'd purposely set up home here of all places. Was it because of the light? He'd put his hammock directly underneath it.

Most likely he was out hunting or doing some other thing warriors did in their spare time. I could not help but worry over what I could say to him. Last night he made it clear that he meant to speak with me, but what could I say? Last night Tsu'tey was definitely not begging me to lead him back to the clan. In fact, he probably knew exactly where the clan was and how to get to it, whilst I had not the slightest idea. My heart sank upon the realization. How would I return to my clan? Would Tsu'tey be kind enough to show me the way back_? Of course not, Yishat,_ I thought, _you are an adult now- you have an Ikran. Use it. _

But something seemed terribly off.

As children growing up, all of use Na'vi children knew that at some point we would all be bonded to an Ikran. Some families deemed it as a very significant turning point and some didn't. My family cared more for mating than for the taming of the Ikran because we lived low in the Na'vi hierarchy. We were directly concerned about children and family funds, not our skill in the air. Meanwhile, those destined to be warriors sought independence and regarded the Ikran taming very, very seriously.

However there was one consistent thing that all of us were taught, or in fact, not taught. We were not told how we could call our own Ikran once it was tamed. I suppose it must have been obvious back then- call for the creature mentally through the bond of Eywa; through Eywa's breath that lingers in the space between sky and ground. Every child came to this conclusion on their own- if there is no explanation, trust Eywa. Always.

My Ikran would not come for me. I felt no bond that made anything any different than how I felt before. In the still silence of the morning I began to shake, wondering if I had done something wrong, if I had not tamed my Ikran after all. Now that I thought about it, yesterday had been a very rushed and confusing day. In fact, I was panicking so much yesterday I only recalled now A'mari'k's calm face.

He had not come to my aid when I called for him, but he did give me provisions to last the night. These seemed like complete opposite actions that I couldn't make sense of. I was left to draw my own conclusions but I couldn't find any. A'mari'k had confused me for the longest time. At first I thought he was dumb and ignorant, then came a frightening time when his cruel ingenuity was made clear to me… Then he became kind and lastly, insensitive. What was this all about? Could I trust him to return to the clan and speak the truth? It seemed like I had no choice.

I imagined myself leading Tsu'tey back to the clan in the middle of the night. Oh, and in the morning there would be such celebration! Yishat the hero!

But alas, it was not meant to me. I was torn from my fantasies by the beast-like growling of my stomach. I flushed, knowing full well I might not be able to find any food on my own without Tsu'tey. The thought made me uneasy- I did not like to depend on people. It was all looking grim before I remembered the small sack of dried fruits A'mari'k had given me. It was not much, but it would quiet my stomach so that I would not make a fool of myself in front of Tsu'tey.

I padded all around my waist where I kept my possessions tied up… The bag of fruit was not there. In fact, _everything_ was gone. I gave a startled yelp and almost fell off the hammock. The hunting knife, my only weapon, was stripped away. The bag of medicinal herbs was gone also. With realization like dark falling over light, I realized Tsu'tey had taken everything while I slept.

I don't think I would have minded so much if he'd beaten me into a bloodied mess and taken my things forcefully. However, as it stood he took my things while I was sleeping. His touch must also have been either very gentle or very skilled, for I did not feel a thing. Shame washed over me, and I felt as if I had been violated. It was all made worse when I gave myself a more thorough check and found that all my everyday jewelry was gone also. Even the simple string of beads holding my hair together was taken.

He'd taken all my things, without which I had no hope for survival. Yes, Na'vi were meant to be part of Eywa's body, part of the earth… But I was uneducated and in a very confusing world. Even if Eywa protected me from the Nantang, there was still Tsu'tey to put a knife to my throat if needed be.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I tried in vain to muffle out the sounds of my stomach protesting. I was a home tender but did not specialize in plants and animals. I didn't think I'd ever need to use such knowledge, but now as I rocked back and forth on the hammock I realized just how wrong I had been. Thorns and vines covered the ground for as far as I could see, and there were no fruits that grew here. Everything was lush green. A tear or so dropped from my eyes without consent, so I scrubbed vigorously at my face, trying to erase the wet trail.

Only women cried. Legend had it that Eywa granted the Na'vi women the ability to cry and denied this of men. Eywa made it so that women spilled water from their eyes when hurt. Men were known to cry very little, if at all. When they did cry it was a sign that Eywa was with them and was sending her healing waters to cleanse their souls. For the Omaticaya clan, it was believed that such waters came directly from Eywa's womb. The Horse Clan of the Plains believed the tears were actually Eywa's blood. They linked the pain of women to the pain of Eywa herself. Each clan once again had a slightly different version of such stories that set our belief systems apart.

Oh, how much I would give to have just one sip of water or one bite of fruit… Your tears, your sweat, your blood pours from my eyes but you send me no pity. Great Eywa, at least show me Tsu'tey's face! Let me know he is not leaving me here!

When it all became too much to bear, I stumbled down the tree and decided to search for my own food. It was a daunting decision, for I could not tell which plant was poisonous and must not wander far from here or else I would not be able to find my way back.

The expanse of forest loomed over and all around me, shrinking me to the size of the tiniest seed. How could anyone survive out here?

One foot in front of the other, I stepped carefully across a masterful weave of vines and sinews on the earth. Ka'iil could learn something from this. Some strands were slimy, some rough like sand. Eventually I came over a pool of water. I could not tell if it was some kind of black water or just plain water over a black patch of dirt. I was thirsty, but I was not tempted to sample it. I could still see the hammock if I decided to turn back, but it was slowly becoming swallowed by ferns and hanging foliage.

One step out.

With the sound of a reverberating twang, I was pulled off my feet until I dangled upside down in the air. I started to shout and scream, desperate to claw at whatever creature was surely trying to eat me. I had yet to fulfill my prophecy! I couldn't die yet!

In my moment of panic I managed to take hold of some kind of rope or vine. I tugged on it urgently as if it would somehow free me. I was rewarded with a pained yelp, but it was not at all what I was expecting.

"Let go of my hair! Let go or I'll cut your hand off!"

Whatever was holding me up let go and I crashed to the ground. Apparently I hadn't been very far up at all; I wondered how ridiculous I must've looked shouting like that. As I rose unsteadily back onto my feet I realized the Na'vi in front of me was standing so close I could see the pores on his skin. I thought for the briefest moment that perhaps I would have been safer dangling. Tsu'tey was not pleased; his battle worn chest was heaving up and down with each deep breath he took.

If I looked up our faces would have touched. I knew what I had to say, but I didn't know where to start. Apologizing and expressing gratitude was some of the things I somehow lacked the power to do. The silence drifted on and the sound of the forest took over, calming the both of us until I could no longer keep my eyes on the ground and his breathing evened.

Finally, Tsu'tey took my hand and began to lead me once again to the hammock I'd just left moments ago. His hand was warm and had a slightly rough texture, not to mention he was just holding on so hard- as if he were afraid I would run away. My hand went cold in his grip. Apprehension slowed my steps. Once again I had the feeling that something was definitely not right. Tsu'tey would never be so kind to me. What treacherous journey have you planned for me, Eywa?

"You are ridiculous," he murmured in a low tone, "I set up some traps for Nantang and instead I get a home tender. It's a horrible trade, if you ask me." He pretended to be angry but I sensed he was just trying to mock me.

"I was hungry," I replied, finding my strength again in the protesting of my stomach, "if you hadn't robbed me while I was sleeping perhaps this wouldn't have happened!"

To my surprise, he chuckled and apologized briefly, "I was wounded last night and took your medicine to tend to myself. Afterwards I ate your fruit because I hadn't had any for so long, and then I took your jewelry because… I felt like it. I had to keep you here! In the forestone gets lonely very quickly. I'll settle for any company, even if it happens to be Yishat the home tender."

* * *

Now I understood why he was so desperate for real fruit that he had to steal it from me. The fruits in the forest were apparently abundant, but Tsu'tey always picked the absolute worst of the bunch.

"They must be bad fruit," he attempted to explain when he saw my face scrunch up upon tasting the fruit. "I pick the ripest ones!"

I shook my head, examining the roots of the fruit, trying to classify them into some category familiar to me. At this moment this particular fruit in my hands was feeling a lot like Sourapple. Despite its name it is not supposed to be sour at all, which made me nervous as to what I'd just eaten. "Do you even know what this is?"

A very hesitant 'no' followed from his general direction.

I took the skinning knife which Tsu'tey had reluctantly returned to me and split the fruit in two. Indeed, its severed seeds glowed brightly against the dark. "It's a variation of the sourapple, it seems." Just speaking of its name brought me back to some time several moon cycles ago when I'd jokingly plotted Tsu'tey's demise with the sourapple. The fruit was famous for its use in pranks and cleansing medicine as it cleared the bowels quite nicely if ingested in powdered form or in large quantities. Thank goodness I only took one small bite.

He leaned over me to take a look, breath fluttering on my shoulder like the lightest kiss from Eywa's light. He could have just walked over opposite to me, but as it is I had to wonder if he was doing this deliberately.

It was still a shock to recognize that hairstyle that now belonged to A'mari'k with that face so starkly familiar yet now out of place. I did not have any chance to look directly into his face for fear he'd catch me staring, but the temptation was palpable. The fullness of the surprise of seeing him here of all places had finally set in- I could not believe it was actually Tsu'tey who stood over me now. I battled the urge to touch him just to make sure he was really here.

"I see," he shrugged, "then it is a blessing that _I_ did not eat it, no?" He drew back abruptly but even so I was able to sense the makings of a smirk on his face.

Sure that the corners of my lips would reach the floor at any moment, I tossed the fruit away and rounded on him like a beast hunting for prey. I'd had enough of this- all this time wasted and still no answers! This was getting ridiculous. If I could leave him, I would! But he had my things.

At first I planned to start strong and yell my way to victory, but one look at that set jaw told me that approach wouldn't work. I'd need to be cunning. Tsu'tey was shifting his weight on each hip every so often as if anxiously awaiting something. His eyes bore into my soul but my heart no longer raced, my legs no longer shook.

I'd drag the truth out of him if necessary… But first, my things.

"I will find fruit for you if you give me back my things," I stepped closer to him, watching in mild amusement as he took a step back involuntarily. I put a smirk on my face and assumed a confident pose, hoping I might be able to intimate Tsu'tey into respecting me. "It's not kind to hold a girl's jewelry."

Obviously, my tactic did not work. He just laughed and shook his head. Before I could try again, he pushed past me and began to arrange some stones in a circle formation around the charred ground.

* * *

Tsu'tey wasn't very surprised when I told him of how I managed to tame my Ikran. In fact he almost ignored me completely, making my mouth sour with indignation.

"Why don't you call for your Ikran, then?"

I didn't know how to, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

"Hm."

We sat side by side on a fallen log. Heat from the fire burning in front of us scorched our faces. At any other time I would have moved away, but tonight the heat felt very kind indeed.

The fire lit up our makeshift camp in the falling light. Eywa could drink up all the light she wished, but this light was ours alone. She couldn't touch Tsu'tey's light.

I finally managed to speak to him properly for the first time today. This entire day he was hardly here at all- hunting, trying to gather… It was all very tiring and I was sure the fact that I was here also had something to do with it. Now Tsu'tey had to work extra hard. However, he still hadn't returned to me anything but my skinning knife, purposely trapping me here. I'd just about had enough.

Tsu'tey's fingers expertly used my hunting knife to shred away pieces of meat from the beast cooking on the fire. "You know nothing about the clan or me in particular. It does not matter that you are an adult. Sure, I must treat you with respect now, but that does not change anything else. You have no skills of observation, but I suppose that is to be expected from a woman, hm?"

I took a deep breath. Strategy, Yishat. Impulsiveness will get you nowhere with this one. Eywa will watch over you; do what must be done but harm none.

"Do you still consider yourself part of the clan?" I hadn't meant for it to come out so coldly but nonetheless Tsu'tey was not fazed.

He shrugged and passed me a strip of meat. "I did what I had to do."

I couldn't stop my mouth. "You mean you were cowardly and couldn't stand Jakesully being Olo'Eyktan?"

He shot a very deep glare at me, eyes narrowed like a sly grin. "I told you once before you knew nothing. Don't make me say it again. I did not leave, I merely distanced myself. Now eat and be quiet!"

His brusque tone reminded me of my father. "Don't speak to me like a child, Tsu'tey. If I do not understand, then explain to me!" I must have looked quite ridiculous, but Tsu'tey did not seem to be minded by my sudden outburst.

"There are many things in this world that you do not understand," he began as a stray nantang strolled lazily towards us and lay down beside the flame. It seemed very young, but since Tsu'tey did not seem panicked, I kept my calm as well. "Sometimes you need something horrible to happen to you just so you can see the world in a different way. You've lived a perfect life so you can't possibly understand."

The nantang heaved itself up into a stretch. Its hamstring muscles quivered and with a sigh it lowered itself down onto the floor. Tsu'tey trailed off and watched its every action carefully. "Even this nantang has experienced loss, so I suppose it is wiser than you, hm?"

Now I could not bring myself to be angry. Tsu'tey's face was lit from the crackling flame and his was not the face of a villain. His was simply the face of a very hurt Na'vi who was trying to hold up a façade of strength. At the same time, my life was definitely not perfect but I understood partly what he meant. My 'curse' that I constant referred to was really not so bad. At least I was alive and had a family. It all could've been a lot worse.

The nantang looked around, stretched and slipped away silently with the smallest limp. I watched it go with a heavy heart. I had no idea what made this nantang so special, but I hated to see it leave.

"Alright then. What does this have to do with why _you_ left?" I was prepared to just agree with whatever he said if it would lead me to the truth. On some sick level I supposed I was more in love with the idea of going back to the clan a hero than trying to help Tsu'tey. I wanted to convince him to return but it was all going very differently than I'd planned.

"It doesn't."

"So you were not hurt by Neytiri's choice to mate with Jakesully?" Again, it had come out colder than I had wanted it to be. It wasn't meant as a personal attack to him but really I couldn't believe he spent all this time talking about loss and hurt when it had no relevance to our conversation whatsoever. Ka'iil often did such a thing when he trailed on about something and then pushed the subject away once he realized he was making a fool of himself.

"Your mouth will get you killed one day." He did not seem to be very offended though. In a way I supposed I wanted to get him riled up. I was so used to seeing the angry Tsu'tey that this new Na'vi sitting so close beside me was just out of place. "I have changed, Tsu'tey. Don't take me for a child any more."

"So you are physically able to mate and bear a child, but are you prepared mentally? There is a big difference. Anyhow, I had no problem with Jakesully becoming Olo'Eyktan. I am not as rebellious as many would think, you know."

I could not express the feeling that had come over me just then. It was a warm sensation yet at the same time I felt as if a million bugs were crawling under my skin. Tsu'tey was really speaking to me like an equal. He wasn't joking to get my hopes up or being sarcastic. He really respected me now. It was what I'd wanted all this time, but perhaps now I'd bit off more than I could chew. I wasn't sure how to react to his last statement, so I just waited patiently for him to continue. Better to keep my mouth shut than embarrass myself again.

"I left for the good of the clan, and I'm only telling you this now because I know you won't betray me."

"And how do you know?"

Tsu'tey put the last piece of meat into his mouth and chewed in a very thoughtful manner, eyeing the fruit I was currently peeling with my skinning knife. "Eywa controls both our lives. Everything we've done so far is for her, because she wills it. There is no escaping her wish. Eywa led you here, did she not?"

Yes. It was true. Eywa controlled my life utterly and completely. He was right. But… "Have you ever wondered what would happen if we… Didn't believe in Eywa?"

He looked at me as if I were insane. "Eywa provides us with all our food. We hear her voice and see her in every living thing- how can you not believe in Eywa?"

He was right. Why had I just said that? I knew better than most that Eywa existed. I'd even seen her with my own eyes! But was she really controlling our lives? Could it be that she was not the creator but a creation? When I nearly drowned in a lake as a child many years ago, I saw the most beautiful flower in my mind's eye just as clearly as I'd just seen "Eywa". Could it be that she was just a figment of my imagination? No Tsahik had ever seen Eywa before, so why should I, a lowly home tender be gifted with her vision? I was once again placing myself on a far higher pedestal than where I was truly at.

"Eywa planned for this, Yishat." He put a hand on my bare shoulder, "she wanted you to come to me. Your stray thoughts are a curse, but sometimes they can be a gift."

"So you really don't care for me? You are kind to me simply because I am part of Eywa's will for you?"

"I suppose you could say that."

* * *

After our bellies were full and our bodies thoroughly warmed, he began to speak, and I kept silent. He spoke and spoke and I thought he would never stop. It was almost like I wasn't here. He was sitting so close to me that our sides were almost touching, and the tone of his voice lowered until it seemed almost as though he was praying.

I think at some point I wanted to tell him about Ma'hi, but her situation paled in comparison to the dilemma Tsu'tey was faced with.

I was right all along about A'mari'k. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't find just what it was.

Apparently he was the one leading the protest against Jakesully as Olo'Eyktan. It was not Tsu'tey who hated Jakesully. It was A'mari'k. It was him who acted dumb and ignorant when in fact he was the leader of a complex inner-society. They had almost everyone fooled.

Tsu'tey spoke of Neytiri with affection, "Mind you, I was very upset about it at first… But there was nothing I could do about it. After that, there was nowhere to go but forwards."

I nodded sagely, feeling as if he still needed some support. He was taking all this weight on his own shoulders, just like he always liked to do with everything. "Relationships are passing, material objects are passing, but the soul is eternal."

Even I felt a little surprised at the words that seemed to come so naturally from my mouth. He paused, but did not make any comments. The crackling of the dying fire was our only companion, and from our place on his hammock, we could just see the last whispers of flame burning away.

We stretched his hammock so both of us would fit, although it was a bit tight. The opening in the trees above gave away to a beautiful view of the night sky. It was truly a wonderful sight but tainted by our solemn mood.

"So you knew all along?" I asked, scraping the dirt out from under my fingernails. I tried not to think about returning to the clan and facing A'mari'k. Our relationship would be forever changed. What should I do? What was the right thing to do?

He shook his head, the action causing strands of his hair to brush against my face, so close we were. "No, not until he offered me a position in his little 'team', if you will. He misunderstood my feelings completely… So did everyone else, I presume. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous, and refused to join him. Oh, but he would not let me forget." Chuckling, he pulled a leaf from the tree above and began to chew it absently.

"So you knew since before you left. Then why were you so cruel to me? I must know." I know it was a selfish question, but nonetheless I was utterly confused. This Tsu'tey rewrote everything I thought I knew about him. All my assumptions were possibly wrong, my accusations misplaced.

He flicked the chewed leaf towards me, laughing as I started and tried to bat it away. "Again about you, Yishat? Eywa does not light the world for you. You are not so special. I had my own troubles and things to keep me awake at night. A'mari'k was pestering me about joining his plan. He knew I was weakened by my losses; he was truly merciless. …And very intelligent. I needed to act my role, or else he'd overtake me in my position. Even I was no aware of his plans until it was too late… Once he tried to poison me, did you know? I could no longer stay in that clan."

So he left for the good of the clan. He could no longer guarantee where his alliances lay, so he decided to leave and be done with it. Of course, it wasn't as simple as that. It was Eywa who at first planted this seed of an idea in his mind.

"I can't believe you're telling me all this!" I was nearly giddy, "everyone will be so happy to know! I must tell Olo'Eyktan! He will put a stop to this."

I was so happy I nearly flipped the hammock over. Tsu'tey grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him, effectively silencing me. "Jakesully already knows. What he chooses to do with A'mari'k is his own concern. Tell me now; what did Jakesully say to the clan after I left?"

I swelled with pride, feeling as if I were very important, "He said you left a note… But I know you said something to him. You had conditions, didn't you? What were they?"

His eyes glimmered in the dark with mirth, "And how did you come to know that?"

"I was eavesdropping."

He let out a short laugh. "Stupid girl."

I wanted so badly to blame Eywa at this moment, but my pride would not allow it. "I wanted to know."

"You thought of me often while I was gone?"

What did that mean? I couldn't tell if he was trying to mock me or tempt me. No man had ever spoken to my like this. I liked it. Feeling my face heat up, I blurted, "Don't change the subject!"

My slight stammering gave me away. Tsu'tey grinned haughtily, as if he had just won a war single handedly.

"Ah. Well… I did have conditions. Three, in fact. The first was for Jakesully to watch out for A'mari'k. I told him about what was happening, which made my leaving even more necessary. If I'd stayed, A'mari'k would've had me killed. He is a very skilled warrior, and very intelligent as well. He would've been able to come to his own conclusions. That being said, Jakesully couldn't get rid of him either. The tribe must not know about any of this, and the best way for that is if A'mari'k himself does not know. Although I do suspect he knows why I have left. The second… I asked for him to not tell Neytiri about this. I didn't want Neytiri to be asking Eywa about more things than she was supposed to know… And I wanted to see Jakesully sort this problem out himself."

I nodded, "because Neytiri was becoming Olo'Eyktan in her own right."

"Correct. Thirdly, I asked of him to keep a close eye on you. Never were you supposed to leave the clan for any purpose without being accompanied by someone trustworthy."

"What?" I shot up as if an arrow had just struck me from behind. "Why?"

"But because you are part of Eywa's will for me…" He trailed off smiled, shrugging his shoulders in a comical manner, "maybe I shouldn't tell you this. You'll become too prideful."

"You'll regret it if you don't."

"Yes, I'm sure I will. Why did Eywa lead you here? Did you sneak out on your own, sneaky snake?"

"I... A'mari'k accompanied me to tame my Ikran…"

Now he sat up as well. Suddenly everything stopped moving. "Why didn't you go with Jakesully?"

I didn't want to… I didn't trust him… I wanted to get to know A'mari'k… I wanted to see him… I wanted to see Tsu'tey in A'mari'k's face.

I started to choke with fear. What had I just done? I'd let A'mari'k lead me out here! I now recalled how he did not help me when I called for his aid. He'd meant for me to die? What was he doing in the clan now? So he had lied to me all this time… What was he telling the clan?

There were a million things I could have told Tsu'tey to make myself seem wiser, but instead I simply said, "I couldn't wait. I was impatient."

"Stupid girl… All this time I was trying to avoid you!" He looked as if he was ready to kill something.

"You were trying to hide from Eywa's will?" I was incredulous. All this time Tsu'tey was preaching of Eywa to me when all along I had been part of his destiny? Now he accused me of doing something wrong? It felt a tremendous insult to me, in fact.

"Yes, and I have decided to not tell you the specific reasons. You are here now, so that's that. There's nothing I can do about it now. Why are you here without A'mari'k, then?"

"Eywa came to me in a vision… She told me to stay out here until I end my childhood and open my eyes," I recited like a mantra.

Here I could see his face, even during the night… And it was still as stone. I'd expected some surprise from him, but like A'mari'k, he didn't seem very fazed at all. "You'd already tamed your Ikran when she told you this?"

"Yes… It doesn't make sense."

"Not quite. Tonight I've told you all you should know, so your eyes have been opened. Now we will work to end your childhood so you may return to the clan."

"But…"

"Silly girl, you did not actually believe that just taming an Ikran was enough to make you an adult?" He came closer, much closer before his intent was made startlingly clear to me.

"Wait! You can't do this!"

"Hm?" He sat back on his heels, looking quite amused. The hammock stretched and flexed under our constantly shifting weight.

"…B-by ceremonial means, you're supposed to have given me a gift and a flower! N-not to mention I have to agree to this!" I remembered A'mari'k, coming up to our home with a flower and a bird in his hand. Was that an act as well? Suddenly I had a thought: Why Ma'hi? What was her role in his plan? I was fairly certain she didn't know about A'mari'k, but what did A'mari'k plan for her?

Unfortunately, I had no time to ponder on this as Tsu'tey's breath on my face pulled me back to reality.

He did not even hesitate, "you still have my bow, Yishat. That bow meant much to me. Think of it as a gift. And… Here." He plucked a blossom from one of the trees that held the hammock up and slid it into my hair. "Done."

I was absolutely sure now that he'd planned this all along. Yes, it made sense now. He left his bow not to frame me, but as a reminder of my failure so I would stay within the confines of the clan… He didn't want to mate with me, and that was one of the reasons that spurred him on to leave. However, why was he trying so hard now?

"I have not agreed." How far was the fall from here to the ground if I had to escape? Probably not very far. I felt I had the duty to run, to escape from here. But at the same time, that didn't feel right either.

"You agreed by coming here."

"But we don't have to do this! Why is it necessary? You don't want to do this and neither do I. Let's just forget Eywa for one moment, can we?" I pushed him back away from me but he took my shaking hands in his.

Holding another's hand is not a particularly sexual or romantic gesture in our clan. Generally it was accepted as a form of support, much like a pat on the shoulder for Jakesully's people. "Forget Eywa? But she is watching right now. Look: she moves, feel: she breathes. Will you defy her?"

I took a deep breath, trying to make sense of the situation. Tsu'tey did not really want me, did he? We will regret this later. "But is Eywa the only one out there? And why is she all good? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Have you ever rebelled against Eywa's wishes? Ever?" At this point I was in part just blurting things in hope I could make Tsu'tey think twice about what he was doing.

He tilted his head to the side.

I continued quickly, "and why not? Are you in command of yourself or are we all Eywa's playthings? What good is an existence if one cannot control his own fate?"

"Yishat…"

"Say what you want, but there is a difference between being children and being a game." I narrowed my eyes in concentration, hoping my point was proven. To be honest, I had no idea what I was saying. I just hoped it was convincing enough to make him be quiet. I'd often heard mother speak in such a tone when she was trying to get me to do something.

My hands were still in his, and though I was completely unsure of my own intentions, I knew one thing: Part of me wanted to be mated to him, that was for sure. I could not deny it. It was written in my birth, the role of a home tender was to care for children and serve the warriors. Tsu'tey was hard to resist, with his vigor glowing and health radiating. However, I had the uncanny feeling that Eywa was using us to prove a point, and at the end of this, we would become sacrifices. We would regret this.

I was only doing the right thing.

A chuckle came from his direction, "say what you want, but there is a difference between truth and fantasy." He let go of my hands and lowered himself onto his back. "Fine then, sleep for now and tomorrow return to your clan. Go ahead! Go home and see what happens!"

He turned over and that was that.

...And the insecurity hit me. I'd just potentially made my life far more complicated than it needed to be. Tomorrow I will ask for my things, and it will be awkward. Tsu'tey will not listen to me any more. What will he do? He can't possibly want to stay here for the rest of his life! He must go back to the clan some day. What if he won't leave with me? What of A'mari'k and my ikran? Did I even have one, or had I failed the mission? Only A'mari'k would be able to tell, and he could not be trusted anymore. What will I do then? Could I trust Eywa to guide me? I was constantly questioning her existence, and I didn't know what this meant. I was enveloped by a fear so potent, I thought I would choke to death. Ma'hi was still mated to A'mari'k, and she was mentally unstable. What did A'mari'k tell the clan? I had played right into his plans, so what was he doing now?

There was not even enough room in the hammock for me to curl over and pray.

* * *

To be continued!

* * *

Here is the long awaited chapter. Sorry for the long wait. I had insecurities about character development that I needed to work out. Yes, I am aware that my characters are far less potent when they are speaking or doing "exciting things". I'm trying to fix this problem, but it's very hard. ):

This chapter was to give a more realistic side to Tsu'tey. In this first few chapters, he was incredibly cruel, and this chapter was to counteract that. Yes, there is still confusion! Confusion is good! Or not. Your choice.

Just a little something about me now,:

Fortunately, the SIMS have lessened their grip on me, but Yoga has invaded my life. It's a welcome invasion. I'm surprised I didn't pick it up earlier. I now practice yoga for around an hour every day. I don't think I've ever been so happy and calm before. Although it's too early to say it is a lifestyle change, I'm working towards it.

As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated. Thanks so much to those who'd given crits last chapter. :) They really helped!

-Jasmine


	7. Haunting

At first, I had been afraid his attitude towards me would change. The kindness would disappear, replaced by an awkward coldness. The insecurity came again in the morning, but I reassured myself that by night I would be dismissing the thought completely. I had woken alone in a brief moment of panic. I wondered once again where he was, if I would need to face the clan alone today. The silence of early day dragged on, and just as I was finding my feet, he seemingly materialized beside me with wild game. My sight was blurry from sleep; I must've missed his approach. A rugged grin tore across his face as he took in my disheveled appearance.

As if by instinct, I flung myself at him with a cry, causing him to drop his catch in surprise. "A'mari'k! I've missed you so! Why had you not told me where you were going? Where did you go?" Questions spilled from my mouth, jumbling together until they became simply slurred, incoherent speech. I stifled a sob, feeling as if my world had been returned to me.

"Ah, I am sorry, my Ma'hi." My mate, my other half, replied as he pulled me into an embrace. "I was gone for long, wasn't I?"

I pulled back from his chest to look at him incredulously. "Two moons!"

"Ah…" He looked surprised, handsome features pulling and elongating his face as he contemplated. Two moons was not a very long time, but when one disappeared without explanation, his mate was bound to worry. However, I could tell A'mari'k was slightly put off by my outburst.

He may or may not have uttered an apology, but either way I did not hear him. I was rooted with a sudden sense of inexplicable fear. It'd come like a wave that failed to recede. I had no idea where it came from, but I knew I had to get away.

As if by habit, I took the game and began to examine it, busying myself checking under the feathers for illness, squeezing flesh to test for tenderness. I turned away from him almost reluctantly, like he might run away again. For the last two days I could barely breathe, wondering of his whereabouts and trying to convince others I knew where he was. "Honing his riding skills," I'd told one of my old friends with what I hoped came off as disinterest. It didn't work. My bloodshot eyes must have given me away, and she simply shook her head and wished me well. Then she picked up her child and walked away, and it was then I realized that this was always the excuse I used whenever A'mari'k was not to be found… And such a situation was increasing in frequency.

It was all made much worse by the fact that when he was gone, I could not concentrate on much of anything. I neglected myself and burned with worry, feeling my throat constrict each time I thought of his whereabouts. I hadn't seen my family for such a long time; I could barely put together the features of my own father's face. It was horrifying.

Torn from my thoughts, I began to frown when I realized the game was not fresh. It was killed long ago, perhaps a moon or two ago.

Before I could say anything, he came up behind me and scooped me close to him as he put his chin at the nook of my neck. I shuddered, feeling a surprised sense of unsettlement from this otherwise loving action. Something was wrong, so much so that my bowels twisted.

"Remove the leg first," he motioned to my knife as it skillfully skinned the four legged animal almost on its own will. I cut off the leg, setting it off to the side. I flushed, realizing I had somehow not noticed the gaping infection on the backside of the leg.

A'mari'k would not tell me where he went. He often times never did. Because of this, I couldn't help but worry constantly if he was planning to leave me to be with another.

Having affairs was nearly impossible for the Na'vi, since Eywa watched over our relationships and could stop such a thing happening through our bond. But A'mari'k knew better, and so did I.

On the night of our mating ceremony, we had bounded arm in arm on our way to the tree of souls, where we decided we would mate. I remembered that night so vividly: the smell of the foliage, the fluttering lights in the sky, the light breeze… The tree of souls brushing our shoulders like wet hair draped on our backs. Here he touched my face, and I leaned into his caress. It was a beautiful night. Just as we were going to share our spirits, he recoiled as if bitten, and doubled over in obvious agony.

I shouted his name, but he could not hear me. A buzz began to resonate around us, shaking the ground and moving the air. All at once I realized this was Eywa's doing. Dragging my mate from the tree on shaky legs, I tried not to lose control of my arms, so much so they were trembling.

As soon as he was away from the shadows of the tree, he relaxed and regained his breath. I was horrified and could not help but begin to weep, ruining my blumay powdered face.

"What happened?" He gasped as I helped him stand. It was just as I thought- warriors were ignorant when it came to this. I, however, knew exactly what this meant.

Eywa was rejecting our union, and fiercely.

"Nothing! Nothing," I told him, desperate to mate, to be loved. Tears were rolling freely down my face, and I think at this point he realized the truth.

"I want to mate with you! I love you!" I cried, clutching his arms, burying my face in his chest, sinking deeper as his arms came around me. "Please don't leave!" I couldn't believe this. Eywa was taking away my mate. No. I wouldn't let her. I'd lived by her rules all my life, but she was no longer my top priority. A'mari'k had become my whole tribe. I would die for him. I knew deep down mother and father could not stay by my side for long, as all life was destined to end. Who would I have, then? Yishat could not support me- I needed to be away from her, away from my family. It was the only way I could make something of myself, by mating with a Na'vi of high social hierarchy.

"We could be punished," A'mari'k whispered hoarsely as I frantically tried to connect our queues. They repelled each other. I could not push them together. Sobbing, I collapsed in his arms, feeling my life had gone to waste.

A'mari'k took pity on me. A flicker of understanding came into his eyes, and he held me to his chest tightly.

No one was to know we were not mated, but at that time I thought our love could keep us together.

-x-

Tsu'tey was strangely undecided.

He rested on a slab of rock, peeling the skin off a fruit I had picked for him. "A'mari'k will know you have seen me- he is not stupid. He will have made some subtle changes, a tip here or there, a lie, a fib. If you returned now, you may find your world in much chaos."

I couldn't remember a time when my life wasn't in chaos. "You could come back with me."

He chuckled, shaking the idea off as absolutely ridiculous. "Go with you and risk my life? Ha!"

Frowning, I strode up to him purposefully and snatched the peeled fruit from his hand just as he was about to eat. It was slippery like water, but luckily I was able to hold it. "And what life do you have here? You wait for news, wait for nothing! You would really rather stay here than return with me to save the clan?"

"Save the clan? You silly girl. A'mari'k wants what's best for the clan in his own way. He is not bad, but he does have ambition. Can you blame him for that?" His gaze never faltered from mine, burning and freezing me at the same time. I never thought something like this could happen to me. To speak to Tsu'tey like this, to be his companion, to know that he needed me.

He was not as healthy as I'd previously thought. Spending so much time in the wilderness away from others, had affected him both physically and mentally. He could no longer run as fast, kill as fluidly, or hunt with the same grace he had before. We set off on a hunting trip. Nothing too big, perhaps a small ground animal to satisfy our hunger for the time. However, already I was able to see the toll his new lifestyle was beginning to exert on him. His eyes darted to and fro, as if scared of the tiniest movement in the foliage that engulfed us. Tsu'tey was not used to hunting alone, having been the leader of the Warriors in his past.

It was hard to comprehend what must've been in his mind all this time he'd been alone. If he starved, no one would bring food to him. If his clothes tore, no one would be there to mend it. If he fell sick, he'd have to search for the proper herbs himself. If he'd died, no one would know, and there would be no funeral rite.

"I'm not in the prime of my life anymore, Yishat," He said to me suddenly when the animal he'd been stalking darted off and disappeared. "A'mari'k was younger, more virile, and he knew it."

I shook my head, though I was sure he couldn't see. We had not wandered far from our camp, but already this part of the forest was dark as night. I was growing agitated by the constant lack of light, casting ominous shadows on everything. "You are still the greatest warrior I have ever known."

"Even greater than Jakesully?" He joked, but in his voice was a light tone of desperation, of wanting to be accepted.

"It depends on what you mean to compare by." I left it at that. Jakesully was undeniably our hero, the Na'vi who'd saved our world and people. Whatever I could have said would have been taken with offense. Quickly, I changed the subject, "What did you mean earlier, when you said that A'mari'k wanted what was best for the clan?"

There was no reply, and for a moment I thought I'd lost Tsu'tey. Had I wandered off on my own, or was he deliberately ignoring me?

I must have called out for him, because in a flourish of moment, the foliage to the right of me moved, reflecting light off its leaves.

"Idiot!" Tsu'tey shouted at me, obviously impatient. He had been just beside me this whole time, and was just about to strike down the animal next to me when I'd scared it off.

I'd never felt as much shame as I did in that moment, as his glare bore down on me with unrelenting hate.

But like a sudden rainstorm, his anger dissipated just as quickly and was replaced by a playful air. He tossed his hunting knife to me. "Fine, then. You find food for us both today."

As if trying to prove myself, I puffed out my chest like a bird. I had not hunted game for ages, but I knew the workings. I could do this.

-x-

He did not leave as I expected him to. Rather, he stayed a few paces away from me and watched my every move. I could not tell if he was trying to protect me or make sure I didn't run away. In either case, he still wanted something to do with me. Thank goodness. My entire form buzzed with anxiousness, my hands shook slightly. I could not see where I was stepping, but I trusted my confident strides to lead me to safety, and to impress Tsu'tey.

Luckily, we were both seemingly able to put last night behind us, although the question of returning to the clan lingered in my head. Would he chase me off?

I was stepping in the footprints of a large nantang. There was a pack nearby, and we must not make noise to disturb them, or we might just become prey ourselves. "There is nothing here to hunt," I realized incredulously, turning to face him. Nantang are very territorial, and any hunts taken place here will not go unnoticed. In addition, this part of the forest seemed already stripped raw of game.

He shook his head and motioned to my right.

A whimper rose from the ground, and I looked down to see a young wounded nantang. I remembered this one. He was at our camp last night, stretched and left with a visible limp. With widening eyes, I assessed his situation quickly.

Tsu'tey already knew of the unavoidable outcome. The nantang was breathing harshly and was lying on its side, one of its legs oozing pus and reeking of infection. Tsu'tey wrinkled his nose at the rancid smell and turned away.

This nantang was going to die here, having already been rejected by its pack. It would not be missed if we took it. It was a gift from Eywa, a perfect opportunity.

I'd never been the one to kill an animal before. I'd trapped and skinned, but never actually once done the killing. However, I knew Tsu'tey was watching, planning. With shaking hands, I unsheathed the hunting knife and muttered a quick prayer of gratitude and sorrow before plunging the blade into the animal's neck. I had practiced this as a child on my dolls, but never like this.

It was as if I'd felt its pain, but I knew I'd done it just- it would feel no more pain now. It was with Eywa. Tsu'tey grunted his agreement, and started to head back without a word.

I felt as if I was reborn, carrying the carcass to our camp, blood and pus dripping from my hands.

-x-

A smear of blood reddened the sky as Olo'Eyktan Jakesully stepped out from the Hometree. He was alone.

Even with leaves and foliage covering most of my vision, it was easy to see his pride and confidence. A feathered headdress rests on his head, supported by a long, flowing cape made of the softest skins. Self assured _skxawng_. He lingered in front of the entrance for a moment, inhaling the crisp midday air before he starts to head towards the warrior's cove. The cove is a small cave a bit away from the Hometree that leads underground into a cavern of tunnels. It's a favorite place for the warriors. We go there to drink, to gossip, to take advantage of young Na'vi women, and sometimes, just to get away.

Jakesully did not make rounds to the cove often. Today, however, it seemed there was news to deliver.

I followed him, matching his every pace, jump and sprint. We were separated by a thick layer of vegetation, and judging from his laid back attitude, I doubted he knew I was even here.

We crossed the slow flowing river, jumped over felled logs and plant matter, and finally reached the cove. I stayed back, peeking out from a curtain of shoots and flora, my breath steady but deep. Their voices carried as Jakesully greeted the group of warriors that almost seemed to live at the cove.

Jakesully spoke in a very formal tone, asserting his position immediately. The warriors, however, were a bit put off, as always. They always believed they were the center of attention, and hated it when others spoke down to them. I saw them shift on the spot with discomfort, this way and that.

"The Horse clan of the Plains has requested that we send our warriors if they get into another squabble with the Tipani clan."

I watched my warriors react by bursting out in bellowing laughter. I'd trained them well. Jakesully did not look amused, and crossed his arms with annoyance.

One warrior shook his head and looked hard at Jakesully, "And what have they given us? We don't need anymore Pa'li! We already have so many!" To which Jakesully replied in a calm tone,

"Their Pa'li are of superior quality. I'm sure you've noticed the difference. In either case, it is not the Pa'li that is important- we owe them a debt."

The warriors seemed to lapse into thought. I shifted on my knees, a frown digging in my face. It was true. The Horse clan of the Plains had lent us much help when we were just beginning construction of the new Hometree. We were desperate for resources, and they came to our aid. We were in debt to them.

"I'm not fighting for them." Zuku, a seasoned warrior, spat with hate. "I fight for my clan, for my Olo'Eyktan only."

Jakesully seemed slightly taken aback by the spontaneous compliment, but I knew better. My warriors stood by _me._ They would fight by me and die for me if necessary. Zuku simply knew what to say to get his way.

We had gotten so tired of this.

Constantly lending aid, living just to feed the clan, for what? Just so we could watch our children grow big and continue the cycle? We lived in peace, but what good is peace if there is nothing to do? We are falling apart, and my recent dreams proved what I'd feared.

I dreamt of skies dripping with blood, the earth opening, swallowing the rivers and trees and flora. Animals ran amok and fell into the oceans; children were pulled this way and that on the waves which carried them. It was a world of chaos.

But in the end, it was reborn.

It was a beautiful world, where everyone was one and one was all. There was nothing left impure or untouched, all was ours. We were all.

The dreams haunted me constantly, like an annoying insect buzzing in my ear that I couldn't swat away. I was young and able, and my warriors had grown impatient and resentful of the peace after the recent tragedies. Their families had been annihilated, their friends killed, their world turned upside down. I was left with nothing, and experienced the grief and torment daily. Eywa was no longer a safe cradle. She'd reared her ugly head towards us, and it would not be easily forgotten. Even as Ma'hi embraced me in our hammock, I could not help but relive each agonizing moment. Every night I saw flames dance in the corner of my eyes; tortured screams tore at my mind, desperate prayers pervading my dreams. They would not be answered.

Ma'hi prayed every night for a child. I didn't have the heart to tell her we couldn't have any, that Eywa was angry at us, at me. It didn't matter to me either way. A child would just get in the way of my plans. Love was not important. Ma'hi was my friend, my sister, my connection to the clan that would keep me safe. With Ma'hi to protect, I could not be cast off so easily.

Try as they might, the new Hometree was just not the same. Certain places didn't smell the way they did, from centuries of incense burning. Certain places didn't feel the way they did; like that crack on the side of the tree we played in as children.

They were not content. I saw it in their eyes, saw it in their stature. Not all of them will follow me, but there were enough of us to make a difference. There was something comforting in sharing a common secret, a taboo desire.

They wanted blood. They wanted balance.

Jakesully's people did not believe in Eywa.

They survived.

So could we. All we needed was a counterpart to Eywa. Where Eywa was immortal, we needed a mortal, where Eywa was female, we needed a male. Just as Eywa was all-loving, we needed a cruel Na'vi to bring this world to balance. I think even Eywa knew it, for she had not struck me to death.

I wanted, more than anything, to be this Na'vi, this hero.

I had no doubt in my mind that Jakesully knew of my plans, but he was at a disadvantage. The Tsahik did not know, and he was torn, not knowing what to do. He could not settle a dispute that he had triggered, and he knew it. As far as I could tell, he had done nothing so far to hold our progress. He must have been aware of our meetings in the cove, far late into the night. We missed watch duty; we left increasing amounts of work for the hometenders. Yet Jakesully did not do a thing.

Although there was the possibility that he was indeed planning something, I had no time to ponder about this. Our own plan would be set in action very soon, and I had to prepare my warriors. When the trigger sounded, we would jump into action.

The day I see the entire land joined into one clan is the day I will die happy. Let there be bloodshed and pain- we had experienced it before. It will not matter if it happened again. In its wake we will build a new clan, one that is ruled by a single leader.

I will be called Olo'eyktan, leader of all, A'mari'k.

At first I had not wanted to rule alone. I wanted my best friend and confidant, Tsu'tey, to work by my side. When the peek of our suffering reached us, I decided to pitch the idea to him. I'd expected him to agree wholeheartedly, but instead he rejected me firmly. I had misread him. I thought his pain over Neytiri would translate into a weaker sense of self, but it seemed I did not know him after all.

"There is nothing more I can do, A'amari'k! I have moved on with my life." He had said to me, nearly bursting with rage.

I countered, "that is not true, my friend, my brother. I know you still yearn for her! You are suppressing your needs, your desires. Look at you now. You work for the very Na'vi, if he could even be called one, who took her from you!"

He seemed utterly disgusted at my words. "What happened to my mild friend, the pleasant A'mari'k who used to play tribe wars with me as children?"

I did not hesitate. "Just as the winds change direction without warning, so can we. We're a bit too old for tribe war _games_, don't you think, Tsu'tey? Why not try the real thing?"

We walked away in opposite directions, but not without having exchanged blows.

The following days saw Tsu'tey under my constant scrutiny. I would not leave him alone. He was no longer a trusted friend, and I could no longer tell what he was thinking. I could just pray that he was changing his mind, not waiting for the perfect moment to run to Jakesully and speak of my plans. Although it seemed unlikely, Tsu'tey was an intelligent Na'vi, and he knew how to get his way. It also helped that Jakesully understood the amount of pain he had inflicted on him, and was more tolerant towards him than ever. Tsu'tey had changed much from the cold, bitter Na'vi he once was. Where my losses weighed down my limbs and darkened my gaze, it seemed to bring a sense of contentment to him. It was not fair.

I pushed him to the edge of his sanity, until I was sure he no longer knew what was right or wrong. He had taken to following _me_, in a strange twist of events. After he found out I was planning to mate with the beautiful Ma'hi, he began to trail behind me like a pest. He was probably afraid I would hurt her or her sister. I assured him that what was meant to happen would surely happen, whether he was involved or not.

He decided to leave not long after we officially began our meetings. It was a cowardly thing to do. He'd run off to the middle of the forest, but no one credible will believe him if he were ever to speak of me. I would know if he spoke anyway. I never let a day go by where I was not aware of his every movement. I'd suspected much of him, but to my surprise all he's done so far is waste his time.

I'd seen him today with Yishat. She is a troublesome girl- not even such a fall could kill her! She was a constant thorn in my side, suspicious of the most mundane things. At first I thought Tsu'tey would disregard her, let her die in the forests alone, trying to fulfill that idiotic hallucination. However, I must say I am confused as to what he has in mind for her. It did not seem like the simple games he liked to play on the young females. He'd told her about me, and she believed him. It was rather funny to watch, but nonetheless I am not to be afraid. Yishat, who cannot even hold a bow, can't possibly deter my plans. However, one can never have too many things working for them.

I had yet to take care of her.

I'd taken care of her _ikran,_ though. The thing was so devastated over her fall that it went right after her and stayed by her side as she lay on the forest floor, unconscious. I killed that damned thing before she woke up. It was weak anyway- upon closer inspection I had noted that one of its wings seemed to be deformed. It wouldn't have served anyone well anyway. I suppose failures tend to stick together.

I stepped out from the foliage and stretched my legs with a sigh. Jakesully's slightly raised voice grew louder as I neared the cove.

"-Tipani are very stout Na'vi, you know that. They will start meaningless squabbles for no reason, and they can be dangerous-"

The other clans are feeling it too, then. This ominous peace, the silence that is not meant to be… The Tipani people were never at such a level of restlessness before. They knew something was going to happen, and were starting small squabbles here and there which would one day blossom into a war. We hadn't had one for so long.

When I was close enough, he saw me and we shared greetings. We are watched intently by the small group of warriors.

"-I hear hometender Yishat is missing." Jakesully suddenly states.

I acted surprised. "Oh. That's unfortunate!"

"Very. Where were you two moons ago, when Eywa spilled her light?" He was looking directly at me now, bright yellow eyes boring into my skin. A hush fell over the cove. I had not intended it to go like this. He was not supposed to be aware of such minute details. Tsu'tey must have told him something about her. I knew now there was communication going on between him and Jakesully before he left, but I could not deduce to what extent he had revealed me, if at all. What did Yishat have to do with all this?

"I was-" I began, but was interrupted by the Olo'Eyktan.

His face was steeled with anger. "Your mate, Ma'hi, has been coming to the Tsahik, complaining of stomach pain. She says you are rarely home. Where have you been all this time? Furthermore, she did not know of her own sister's disappearance, nor did her parents! They told me you'd taken her to tame her ikran, A'mari'k. That is not your role. Where is she now?"

-x-

Just as we were about to part ways, we looked into each others' eyes. It seemed he did not want me to go, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to, either. We could live together like this if we wanted to, couldn't we? We could take care of each other… We could make a small hut- hunt for food, live our days without order or hierarchy.

Nonetheless, I knew it was all just a dream. We couldn't live out here in the forest forever. We'd go insane before the first year.

Yet I told myself I would say yes if he asked again to mate, I would say yes. He could protect me, and the physical attraction I felt towards him was subconsciously pulling me closer to him in heart and mind. I started to edge closer to him when we spoke; guarded myself a bit less when I laughed… And it all happened so fast.

But he never asked.

He pushed my hunting knife, the empty pouches and my few belongings back into my hands. "I have stolen your food and your medicine, exploited your skills. Now I have to return you," he states in a matter-of-fact manner. "Oh well. I suppose good things are not meant to last."

I blushed despite myself.

I asked him again if he would come back with me. He knew I would have a hard time finding my own way back. Did he care enough to at least lead me there?

Tsu'tey looked unsure. "Your ikran can lead you. You can fly on it, can you not?"

"I don't know. I try to call to it, but it won't come. Nothing I've tried is working." I was exasperated, sure he meant to mock me in some way. He was just stalling; he knew my ikran would not come for me. Nevertheless, I took care to control my reactions.

Tsu'tey took in this information with a sagely nod. "Then you can no longer depend on it."

Being reminded about this whole incident brought suppressed panic back up to the surface. Had I tamed my ikran or not? Was I an adult or still a child? What was I? Had I really seen Eywa? And what was waiting for me at the clan?

Sensing my anxiousness, Tsu'tey put his hands on the top of my head, a symbol of companionship. "It does not matter. You are the least rule-abiding Na'vi I know. Why let something so trivial dictate your fate, your present?"

I thought I would cry, until he added under his breath, "hometenders are horrid fliers anyway…"

"What about _your_ ikran?" I tried to ignore his last statement. I couldn't believe I didn't think of this sooner.

He shook his head. "My ikran was shot to death by Jakesully's people. I haven't bonded with another since."

At a loss for words, I looked to him in pleading once more. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I was by nature an independent Na'vi, but Tsu'tey knew the workings of the clan. He also knew about my destiny, it seemed. I would need him to guide me, to lead me through this whole dilemma. I was going into unexplored land, enveloping myself in a situation that I had no way of preparing myself for.

"You're scared," I ventured, exhausted of his time wasting. "You don't want to go back to the clan to face A'mari'k."

He sneered, obviously peeved. Good. "I am not scared of him!"

"Neytiri, then!"

He glared at me with murderous intent, and I immediately regretted bringing her up. It was strange, how Tsu'tey had no problem speaking about her last night... Now he looked as if he could rip my head from my shoulders for simply uttering her name. I apologized quickly, realizing that the chances of him coming with me were now slimmer than ever.

To my surprise, just as Eywa's light shone right over our heads, illuminating a patch of soil with light, he resented.

"Fine," he said, "but let it be known that I am doing this out of utter boredom." He began to march ahead without a word, leaving his hammock dangling in its place. I realized then that he really had nothing to call his own anymore. Boredom was definitely not the only reason he was coming back. Nonetheless, I expressed my deepest thanks to him and trailed him like a child running after his mother.

Thank goodness, I thought. I had nothing to fear now. Tsu'tey needed me alive for something, I was sure. So at least I was protected, right?

We went on in amiable silence, our shoulders brushing once in a while, and our feet falling in sync as we walked on the earth. Eywa's body, I reminded myself. Or, was it? I didn't know what to believe anymore. It was all very confusing.

Finally we found our way out of the darkness and stepped into a moist and rich part of the forest. Here everything glowed in an eerie but beautiful manner, and everything felt utterly alive. Light had been slowly spilling onto us, and my eyes had to adjust to the sudden overexposure of light after many moons in darkness. Tsu'tey did not seem to be affected at all, which led me to wonder if he had really never left his camp.

Did he ever look into the clan from outside? Had he been watching me?

We stopped to fleetingly admire the beauty around us. I could not even imagine what was running through Tsu'tey's mind now. "I am hungry," he stated out of the blue, still turned away from me.

"Should we go on a hunt?" I suggested casually, although I had no desire whatsoever to attempt to hunt again. I was hungry as well, and began to scope the surrounding foliage for edible plants and fruits.

"I will go- you stay here. We must not stray from the trail. I'll need to return to this exact spot. Yes, look for fruit, but stay in this area. Understand?" He spoke like a leader, like a composed, experienced Na'vi. I nodded dumbfounded, wondering at this new confidence he took on. Everything seemed to be glowing subtly, and it was not even nightfall. I was more comfortable with this part of the forest, as it was closer to the clan and I'd learned a little of the plants here.

So with one last unspoken agreement passing between our eyes, he took off. Strong arms pushed away foliage and heavily hanging leaves and he disappeared into the forest, body twisting and bending underneath felled trees.

I knew I would not wait long, for Tsu'tey seemed to be in a hurry. I trusted his hunting skills, especially in such a place where it was so much easier to see.

I recognized some of the fruits hanging from the trees, but they were not ripe. Strolling around the clearing we'd ended up in, I stumbled across a rare find. A few blumay flowers clustered, growing out from under a slab of rock. I immediately was reminded of Ma'hi, her hair shining from the flower's oils, smelling like a refreshing swim in a river. I picked the flowers gingerly, tearing them from their stems so their roots may regenerate.

The blumay flower did not look very rare- in fact, it looked like any other wild flower. It did not have any unique features that made it stand out against the other flowers, and that was why it was so rare. The only way to tell it apart was by smell or by where it was growing from. Most blumay flowers are found growing alongside almost identical wild flowers, making them hard to pick out. However, the clearing where I was standing in was bare of flowers, save for a few shrubs here and there. The ground was dry and did not support rampant flower growth.

However, the blumay required little water to thrive, and was even able to grow from the side of a slab of rock. I was reminded a little of myself in the flower.

I admired the drab looking flowers for a few moments, and tucked them away gently into one of my pouches, or rather, A'mari'k's pouches. They were made of soft leather from some animal, presumably a species of boar. I felt a bit odd touching his things, knowing he was planning horrible things for me and the clan. I hated him from the beginning, and yet I found I couldn't hate him more.

I did not know the entirety of the situation. Tsu'tey controlled how much information I was able to know, and there were gaps where judgments prevailed against fact. Fact was absent, fact was unknown. What had Tsu'tey meant, when he said A'mari'k had wanted what was best for the clan in his own way?

He was always a bit strange, but mother and father just assumed he was dull, as warriors sometimes were. He never spoke of his family, whom he lost during the great battle which cost us our hometree. Father used to tell me to be kind to him, especially after Ma'hi started paying him interest. "Be kind to him," mother once said to me, "he has no family and looks to us for help. We will welcome him at our meals and you will help him if he needs something mended."

That was only a few moon cycles ago, and in this relatively short period of time, my perception of those words had changed. Back then, I thought we were simply helping him, being kind, as was the Na'vi way. I never questioned why he was so special to us, because he never intruded on my personal life. We shared dinner with him rarely, so his presence was not there long enough to affect me.

But then he mated with my sister, and suddenly he was gone, taking Ma'hi with him.

Now he was a stranger, not even someone who stopped by sometimes for meals. He was the one who gave my family a place in the Na'vi hierarchy, but we did not know him. For my parents, it did not matter. Each time I was with him, I learned something new about him, shattering previous misconceptions. It was like I was constantly standing on the edge of a cliff, tethering this way and that.

A'mari'k hadn't come across to me as someone who could make a difference in the clan until quite recently. I didn't know how I could face him again, but I felt an odd sense of empowerment, of importance. With Tsu'tey by my side, we would be able to fight past this, counter whatever A'mari'k wanted to do.

But what was our ultimate goal? Could we stop him, or did we even want to? What was his plans, what did he want to do after he got rid of Jakesully? I could believe he was in fact hiding so much, but I could not imagine him trying to dethrone Olo'Eyktan. Never had I seen him angry, though sometimes the faraway look in his eyes scared me. The clan was in danger, but I could only think of myself. Jakesully's presence made me uncomfortable, and I was not the only one. However, he was a good Na'vi with a strong heart. I did not want to see him die.

Nonetheless, nothing, it seemed, had happened so far. I remembered my mother reassuring me that aspiration to dethrone Olo'Eyktan was present in all clans. They never amounted to anything, despite the frightening promises they made. It was Eywa who prevailed in the end, keeping order intact. It was why Olo'Eyktans in the past did not worry much about assassination attempts or sabotage.

Had things changed now?

Resting on the slab of rock under which I'd found the cluster of blumay, I waited for Tsu'tey's return. Meanwhile, I contemplated on A'mari'k.

I had no idea what he was planning, or what would happen to me when I returned. My prophecy is almost fulfilled. On the third night, my vision had told me, the ones I loved would be struck in the heart.

Struck!

I shot up from my seat, startled. I'd just remembered this part of the vision. Immediately I thought of my family, though it seemed unlikely that they would be put in danger.

Tsu'tey!

My heart started to pound, a cold, creeping feeling began to drain the very essence of life from me. I should never have asked him to come with me. If he died, it would be all my fault! The clan had learned to live without him, but I was never able to let him go. I felt loss when he left, loss like I'd never felt before. Now that I'd met him truly, I was even less willing to let him go. He may or may not need me to survive, but I knew I needed him.

I would go insane if he should die, I was sure. I'd grown used to his presence in just two moons, and his image was burned into my mind. I was afraid, so deathly afraid to admit I loved him. No, I needed him for my survival… It was a necessary fit… But what was this feeling? He told me I was close to the clan- I could find my way back. Yet… I wanted him with me. I'd even thought about abandoning my clan to live with him. He had become more important than my family, the safety of my clan. It fell on me suddenly that I had unknowingly achieved the very thing I'd been avoiding ever since childhood.

He had become my whole tribe.

As the tears stung at my eyes, I paced back and forth helplessly, wondering what was taking him so long.

The light changed slowly, falling from one side of the rock slab to another. He did not come back.

* * *

To be continued!

* * *

Aha, quite a bit of POVs in this chapter. I bet you guys were surprised by the first few paragraphs, hm? I hope I haven't severely confused anyone... Oh, what am I saying? Everything I write is confusing. =/ I wanted to give you guys A'mari'k's point of view, but once again, I made it confusing as hell. . I have these ideas about why he is doing what he is, but it's really a mess of a psychological effect, and I'm not sure if something like this even makes sense. ...Oh well.

This chapter is dedicated to my **wonderful reviewer, Megs**. You've helped me a lot in improving my writing! I hope you will continue blessing me with your helpful critiques. Sometimes reading them over and over again at night is the only thing that keeps my fingers tapping. Thanks again!

Sorry for the long wait. :) One reviewer reminded me that it was a month since I updated, and I was like "WHHHATT?" D: See? I read reviews, and it's proven to make me update faster! Yay! Moral of the story: **Review please, and critique if possible. =) Thanks! **


	8. Regret

Warning: Mild sexual content.

* * *

-The Warrior's Cove-

"Where were you, head warrior A'mari'k?" Olo'Eyktan asked again, stepping closer to me as if to intimidate. I felt the eyes of my warriors fixed on me, and the air in the cave grew stale.

Little did Jakesully know that his fledging plan would be turned against him.

"She came to me just in the morning of that day," I explained solemnly. "She had been having nightmares about being mauled by an Ikran and dying alone. She begged me to take her to tame her ikran- she couldn't wait for the next planned trip. The nightmares were too much. Since she is my sister now, I didn't think it would be a problem."

Jakesully shifted, trying to comprehend what I'd just told him. "And you didn't tell her parents?"

"She asked me not to. They would not have let her go with me."

He looked incredulous at my bluntness, "But you took her anyway?"

I nodded, "Of course- I planned to take her there on my ikran, and we would've been back before night."

Olo'Eyktan's brow knitted like two Pali running towards each other. "That is not a proper…"

"I know that, Olo'eyktan." Calling him by his title caused Jakesully to stiffen slightly. He knew I was getting at something now. I continued without pause, "I just wanted to humour her. She knew next to nothing about the rituals involved in claiming an ikran, so I thought I'd just take her there… Let her know that everything was fine, and then explain that I could not oversee the ritual. It probably would've done her good, too. A home tender has a serious disadvantage when setting out to tame ikrans with warriors. Yishat would come back more prepared for the actual expedition."

"And she has not come back." Jakesully looked tired now. He knew there was no way around this now- I could explain my way through anything. My warriors looked to me with awe, and if Jakesully dared not believe me, he would have to deal with our distaste. He technically ruled the clan, but we were the hunters, and without us the clan would not survive.

And there my lie ended. "She fell off a cliff, but I managed to save her." Jakesully lifted an eyebrow, looking as if he had the words right on his mouth but was reluctant to speak. "She claimed she had a vision of Eywa."

The reaction was immediate. Jakesully took a step back, and my warriors started. "But that's impossible! No one's ever seen Eywa, not even the…" Zuku trailed off, realizing it was smarter not to speak ill of the Tsahik when Jakesully was near.

"I speak the truth, Olo'eyktan," I added humbly.

"I can see that." He cut in, "You would dare not lie when Eywa is involved."

"Of course."

We looked at each other in silence, not glaring nor smiling with our eyes. We both had our own suspicions about the other. The silence was broken when one of the warriors cleared his throat.

"Well," Olo'Eyktan shook his head, "do you know what she saw in her vision? Anything related to the safety of the clan?"

"Not that I know of. She was quite shaken, but I think the vision had been about her own future, not the clan's."

I could tell he did not believe me, so I shrugged and added, "Yishat lived a miserable life, you knew that, Olo'eyktan. She wanted nothing more than to be able to fight for the clan, but was not able to wield a bow. Perhaps it is her time. Is it wrong of Eywa for trying to give her what she so deserved?"

The tired look was back in his eyes, though it was shielded by anger. He knew I was playing him, tricking his words and manipulating the situation. "When will she be back?"

"When it is time, I suppose. I trust she will be safe under Eywa's watch."

Jakesully was defeated. There was nothing else he could say at this point that wouldn't spark some kind of outrage. It was clear he did not trust me, but he couldn't show it in a place where he knew he would be outnumbered should a fight began. "I will explain this to her parents and Ma'hi myself."

"If you would wish, Olo'eyktan."

Jakesully nodded to us politely, and left the warrior's cove with a look of dejection weighing down his proud chest.

Once he was out of earshot, a young warrior remarked plainly, "Well, he knows about us, that's for sure."

Zuku rolled his eyes. "He's always known about us, Mawey."

The poor young Na'vi looked embarrassed, and started to fidget. He reminded me strongly of that home tender boy… Ka'iil was his name.

"We should speak to the Horse Clan," I started as their eyes drifted to me. "They are feeling the tension as well. As of now, we have about forty warriors ready to fight for the cause, but perhaps it won't be enough."

"Are you suggesting that we bring this idea to the Horse Clan? They will slaughter us!" A warrior shouted, eliciting nods from many of the others in the cove.

"Perhaps not," I smirked. "They wouldn't dare. We invite a warrior or Na'vi of high standing to a feast to discuss… Allies, resources, whatever they wish. Jakesully will think it is a good idea, and so with the Tsahik. Once the Na'vi comes, we will… Speak to him. Alone, of course. We'll tell him that we'd only offer our help if we trained together. Strategically, it makes sense. We would need 'help' riding their Pa'li, and only Eywa knows how weak their weapons are."

Zuku nodded slowly, rolling the idea over in his head. He wore a long, thick braid that reminded me of restrained fire, how wild it was. "And then what? They bring their warriors here on their Palis, and then what? We cannot hope to convince all of them to join our cause…"

I smirked, "We might not be able to get them to agree to our cause… But it is possible to make them utterly despise Jakesully. That is to say, make him seem inadequate. The excitement has died down, and though he was once Tarouk Makto, he has left scars in their minds. It would not be hard to convince them of it-"

"And start a war?" Mawey interjected, stupefied. "Why do we want that?"

Really, none of us had any idea why this Na'vi was even with us. However, I felt a fondness towards his impressionable attitude and dim wits. He was blunt, too, which might prove to be troublesome in the future. I explained slowly, "When we put our plan into action, a battle is unavoidable. Jakesully would try to stop us by rallying up the other warriors or even siding up with other clans to destroy us. However, if another clan starts a squirmish first, we can accomplish things much faster amidst all the confusion… Not to mention that the clan would be in a vulnerable, confused state."

A silence followed, during which we all considered this prospect. "I shall speak to Jakesully," Zuku spoke up, "he already suspects you, and I will catch him in public. It's an innocent proposition, so it could be easily arranged."

I nodded my agreement. "We have waited for long, my comrades. Now the time has come to take the pit."

Mawey grinned foolishly at the joke.

Any Na'vi who had ever owned an ikran is aware of its sometimes strange eating habits. A favourite treat of the ikran is the pit of the dirmae fruit. Like many plants in our land, the fruit protects its seed with a poisonous outer skin and toxic, sour flesh. The fruit in fact looks very appetizing, a mix of gorgeous reds and purples that glowed brightly at night… But of course, it is very rare, which explains why it requires the protection so much. Many creatures know never to eat this fruit, so therefore its pit remains elusive. However, as sure as the light spills every morning, once in a while there is a creature stupid enough to eat it. Sometimes, when an ikran has absolutely nothing else to do, it would wait in the shadows, guarding over the fruit. Eventually, a furry rodent-like creature would come along. These creatures were called Tzmukan, but as children, we affectionately called it the "suicide runner". It ran very, very fast.

These Tzmukans bred like mad, producing litter after litter of young. They would eat most anything, and once in a while a bunch of these creatures could be found crawling all over a dirmae fruit. Sometimes a smart ikran would know to remove all other food items in the vicinity of the dirmae fruit, so that it became a clear target. These creatures seemed rabidly hungry all the time, and there was no way to get them off their food once they'd started eating.

A few moments later, the dirmae fruit would be stripped bare, its pit exposed.

The Tzmukans would separate, running in different directions until they all dropped dead, one by one.

Then the ikran would come along and snap up the hard pit. It would suck noisily on the pit, draining it of all its rich juices and flavors. Finally, it'd spit it back out, a shrivelled shell of a seed, hopeless and devoid of any probability of future life.

Despite all its efforts of protecting itself, when forces worked together, there was always a way to get at the pit- despite the inevitable losses.

A few words later, I made my way out of the shallow cave that suddenly felt a year long. My warriors would spread the word to the necessary personnel, and all could be arranged. I trusted Zuku, and knew he wouldn't betray me. He was cunning but lacked the position and knowledge I held. In some strange way, it felt as if they had already begun to see me as some king of god, something above them. They knew of my plans and were afraid.

Zuku hid it well, but nothing escaped my gaze.

Eywa had an interesting personality…. If she actually existed, of course. Many started to doubt once Jakesully's people came here.

All the things that we could not explain before, they seemed to be able to understand completely and comprehensively. Before that, everything that was beautiful or confusing was simply because of Eywa. Now there are things to consider like energy bonds and electro… I couldn't remember- I never paid much attention to that Grace creature when she had been here.

Not one of us would ever doubt the existence of some kind of force on this land, some sort of inexplicable magic. However, was it in fact a goddess capable of coherent thought and strategy? Alas, that was the true question, the one that kept me up at nights. If our home, our land was alive… It might be possible for it to act like a living thing, able to defend itself against outside dangers. However, what then, if the threat came from within? To what extent was it able to control our ambitions and everyday lives?

What about Yishat?

I watched her grow up in silence, and had been there on that day she first tried to hold a bow. It was a pivotal point in any Na'vi's life, where those who wished to fight went one way, and those who wished to serve went another. From then on, they would be trained in their respective fields. In fact, the word 'Serve' does not do the home tenders justice. They knit, weave, cook, skin and heal. We, the warriors, are stronger individually, but the home tenders have strength in numbers. They are the walls that keep the Home tree standing, the very foundation of every family and structure.

Being a home tender was not a shameful thing.

On that day, little Yishat, barely chest height in comparison to me, peeled away from her parents and headed to a heap of old bows on the ground. I saw the determination in her eyes, and knew she would be an excellent warrior. I suppose I had not known her then, and had not yet set eyes on her lovely sister. I myself was already a warrior and was gaining in rank rapidly. Tsu'tey came up behind me, all frowns and stony face, just as it had been before Jakesully came and tainted our land, our minds. That was the Tsu'tey I knew, though once in a while that stony face would split and a laugh would come spilling forth. Tsu'tey never did laugh often.

We had not been watching Yishat in particular at first, but were studying the young Ka'iil, fighting against his father. His father, a reputable warrior, was dragging the young Na'vi to the pile of bows. Ka'iil pulled and shouted, screaming that he didn't want to fight. Eventually his father gave up, but not before vowing coldly that he would have another son. The poor boy looked horrified and could not stop crying, earning him exasperated looks from his mother.

Ka'iil never had any more brothers. His father died in the war against the sky people.

I personally had not seen what went on when Yishat first picked up her bow, but according to Tsu'tey, it seemed she was being burned. She had screamed and let go of the bow, much to the horror of her family. Tsu'tey himself went over to inspect the bow for faults, but could not find any. It was a simple thing, made for training purposes only. Once a warrior was initiated, he or she would be allowed to carve a bow out of the wood of the Home tree. This bow was to accompany them for life, and would become one of their most precious possessions.

Tsu'tey handed Yishat another bow, looking bored. The young Na'vi girl reluctantly took hold of the bow, only for it to go flying out of her grasp. Tsu'tey looked very annoyed, and probably thought she was playing some kind of trick. He must have made a face, for Yishat began to cry and could do nothing but be walked over to the other side of the field, where her friend Ka'iil was already waiting.

We didn't think much of it, until Tsu'tey caught Yishat one night, sneaking into the warrior's supply room in the Hometree and trying to steal a bow. If I heard properly, Tsu'tey was overcome with anger at first, but then became curious as to why she genuinely could not hold a bow. The poor Na'vi girl was confused as well, and kept trying to take one of the bows. She could not string the appropriate words together to express her upset, but he understood true pain when he saw it. Tsu'tey, thinking he was on the edge of a great discovery, then took his own bow from his back and offered it to the girl. He'd thought that if she was able to hold this bow, then she would surely become the greatest warrior of them all. Of course at that time, he was young and stupid.

The bow went flying back at his face, and hit him across his nose.

That was the last time he was ever kind to her.

I had no explanation for this inability of Yishat's, and I still don't. Jakesully once pondered over this briefly, and could only offer some vague ideas that even he admitted didn't make sense. Neytiri had just frowned and told me it was the will of Eywa. "Never bring it up in front of her," she had told me afterwards, "Yishat is very sour."

Did Eywa truly exist as a conscious being after all? Just what was going on with Yishat?

* * *

Ma'hi did not ask me any questions when I returned to our home to change into more appropriate clothing. She did not say anything as I handed her my loincloth and strings of beads. I knew that Jakesully had spoken to her, but what he had said, I did not know. It is entirely possible that he told of her his distrust of me, and he could have even spoken to her about my plans. I was sure he knew them.

The walk back to Hometree had been slow, and once we were finally here, Zuku wandered off from our group to search for Olo'Eyktan. It was a little too soon to bother Jakesully right now, but surely he could not turn down a diplomatic offer such as this. Zuku was to make sure that Neytiri was with Jakesully as they discussed this, for Jakesully could not refuse the offer then. Neytiri did not have the slightest clue of our plans, which spurred me on to believe that she was either inadequate in her duties or there was in fact no Eywa. But then again, I had contradicted the latter option just today.

When I first met Zuku, I had been young and desperate. I was willing to try anything to become the greatest warrior, whether it was to train beyond my physical capacity or to sabotage my best friend. Tsu'tey only saw the "mild and pleasant" side of me, and he often looked at me as his brother, much to my dismay. I was his rival, but he didn't know that until it was too late.

The Na'vi named Zuku saved me from certain death when I'd nearly drowned myself in a lake trying to pick a water flower. It was rather idiotic, really. I wanted to impress the na'vi girl with the long hair that shined like ice. Her name I could not even remember, but as a young child, I thought for certain I was going to marry her. That flower growing out of the surface of the water was of the purest white, just like how my thoughts burned white hot, then cold when I thought of her.

I fell in when I tried to reach for it. I was not a good swimmer, so I struggled and shouted for help until a wandering na'vi found me. Pulling me from the water, the warrior laughed at me, then with me. He was older than me, and had already tamed his ikran. At that age, that meant he was a god in my eyes.

Zuku's name was an interesting one. I still laugh when I think of how he obtained it.

When Na'vi women give birth, sometimes the child becomes stuck or otherwise blocked from entering the world. It is a rare and sad occurrence, but sometimes it happens, and both the woman and child would perish. Such a thing happened to Zuku's mother when she was giving birth to him. She had been desperate- she didn't want to die without giving her warrior mate any sons, and said mate loved her dearly.

She fought valiantly, but eventually she exhausted herself, and gave up. Her breath became slow and shallow, her once bright eyes losing their shine. Friends, relatives and the tsahik had solemnly gathered to witness and bless her imminent death. Her mate, growing desperate himself, did something completely out of the ordinary. He asked the tsahik for the spiciest of spices, a fine, angry red powder previously used only for ceremonial purposes. After acquiring a tiny bag of the powder, he returned to the side of his dying mate. Covering her eyes, he spilled the contents of the bag onto her nose and mouth. Those who were there at the time later told that there was a pause as she tried to draw a breath, and then came the convulsions. Her entire body grew taut, and then she released a sneeze so loud and strong that her baby came flying out!

Zuku was named after the sound of the sneeze that saved him and his mother.

* * *

I saw him as I was just making my way down hometree to the dinner feast. I took his arm and led him away into a secluded hollow of the tree. "What did he say?" I demanded of Zuku, slightly dismayed that my voice was echoing.

He looked disgruntled at my attitude, but replied, "He was reluctant until tsahik began showing, and I mean _showing_, her great excitement. She said something about it not being done for far too long, and all the possibilities of inter-clan reunions or something… After that, he agreed. A messenger will be sent to the Horse clan to bring the invitation. Needless to say, he doesn't trust us to go ourselves, and I'm sure he will be phrasing the letter very meticulously."

"But does he suspect anything?" I asked, digesting the information.

"Of course he does, but he does not know our very savagery. A'mari'k, he comes from a world with mechanical warfare and controlled living. Everything is under control all the time, under scrutiny. I've been on one of those flying things of theirs, and everything is already controlled by the machine. Utterly idiotic, I say. He has lost touch with the world of manipulation, of assassination. His world is used to killing mass amounts of things at a time, like in a strategy game."

Shifting from one side to the other, I added, "he does not realize that the smallest ripples always create the largest wave…"

Zuku spoke strangely and sometimes awkwardly, mostly because he was always drunk to some extent. I tried to make sense of his ramblings.

He continued, "That is correct. He is not used to things being plotted against him, and he knows that." Zuku shot me a pained look, as if begging me not to push the issue further.

I nodded, "even though he trained as a warrior in his world, his tactics are much different than the ones we use. His training is useless here. He may know how to hold a bow like a Na'vi, kill and pray like a Na'vi, but he does not think like we do."

Eager to change the subject, my second in command added, "Neytiri recommended that you be the reception to the Horse Clan Na'vi."

My eyes opened wide in amusement, a smile tugging at my lips. "Really?"

"Yes," a grin split his face, "I agreed with her, and naturally, Jakesully accepted the proposition. Everything has been set. We will welcome them and manipulate their weaknesses with our strengths, and then tempt them to ally themselves with us. We will train together, and instil foul thoughts in their minds. If it all goes well, they start a fight, hoping, in their misplaced sense of justice, to teach Jakesully a lesson. …To save our clan, if you want to put it dramatically. Even if it does not work as we hoped, it would be easy to conquer their clan first! Either way, they are pawns."

And so, laughing like brothers after a good spar, we sauntered together down to enjoy the feast. Of course, we pretended not to notice Jakesully's heated glare.

* * *

-x- Yishat's POV –x-

* * *

My panic did not last long. Soon after I started to search for his trail in a desperate attempt to follow him, I realized he was not leaving me. He was playing a game.

He left heavy footprints in the mud where he'd been, something Na'vi warriors were trained never to do. He bent tree stalks and kicked over rocks, and the path where he'd gone stuck out, shockingly obvious. Tsu'tey was playing with me, tempting me to follow him. Swallowing a scowl, I let the trail lead me forward, where the foliage grew thick once more. I had no fear for danger, as dangerous wild animals did not lurk so close to the clan, and I had no doubt in my mind that Tsu'tey was watching me somewhere. It was just like him to watch and laugh from a distance while I suffered.

Soon he decided to make the game harder, and stopped bending stalks as he went. I now had only light footsteps to guide me, and most of those were veiled in a thick layer of undergrowth and moss. It was a slippery terrain- not very easy to navigate. As I went forward in my deluded sense of safety, I did not realize I had lost his trail until I could no longer find the last footprint behind me. Like a naïve child, I had played into his trap. He was playing a cruel game with me, and I let him. Panic set over me again, but I swallowed my pounding heart and willed myself to be calm.

As I wandered, lifting away hanging foliage and vines, I felt his eyes on me. Thankfully, a dreadful sense of cold calm rose up in me, and my hands did not shake. He was watching me, judging, and even though I wanted more than anything to play him into his own trap, I knew now was not the right time. I should do what he wanted. …If I could figure out what that was, of course.

He was a skilled Na'vi, and did not leave any clues. He covered up his tracks well, stepping lightly across impressionable soils as if he knew their very density by heart. I knew he was up in a tree somewhere, but either he did not use anything to help himself climb, or once again was very good at hiding the evidence. Taking a deep breath, I started to work up a plan. If I could not find him, I would get him to come to me! My eyes glimmered for a moment as I thought out the details of my devious plot.

I let out an exasperated sigh and my shoulders slumped, looking dejected. He would see this and assume I was giving up the game. I turned and stalked back angrily, and once I was covered under the overhanging foliage, I started marking my tracks: An overturned rock here, a bent stalk there, just as he had done it. I had no skill in hiding my tracks, but that would be too easy for him. He would not be tempted to follow the trail as I had if I did not leave anything to convince him to. Thus, I took pieces of grass and rock and tried to cover over my tracks. To a skilled warrior, this was amateur work, and was an obvious attempt to remain inconspicuous. Tsu'tey would know of my plans now, and once he got bored of waiting, would follow me to mock my crude skill, rubbing salt into my wounds.

I was crueller than that.

I led my trail to a small lake where a strange creature was drinking. I had never seen this creature before and could not put a name to its face. Nonetheless, by the look of its set jaw and sharp teeth, I knew it was dangerous. It did not yet notice me, and once it stopped drinking, the four legged creature waded into the water sloppily, digging up mud and rocks as it went. An idea came to me then. Once the creature was out on the other side and disappeared into the woods, I neared the lake. I stepped over the creature's dug up mud and then slashed the mud again, so that the creature's prints covered mine. I jumped into the lake with a yell, and emerged quietly out the other side. I then ran as fast and lightly as I could over hard soil to hide in a large hollowed log. No warrior male would be able to fit in here, but I was thin and agile, giving me the advantage.

The log overlook the lake from behind where I'd come. If Tsu'tey came following my footprints, the trail would end in front of me. He would not notice the log so close to him, and being the arrogant Na'vi he was, would look in the distance for me.

Excitement pumping through my body, I was sure he would come look for me. Then I would spring at him and catch him off his guard!

But time passed, and he did not come. I was squeezed in uncomfortably in the log and was starting to sweat. Bugs and small critters scurried in and out of my vision and a persistent droning sound began in my ears. I saw my surroundings out of a small hole in the log, and I had no way to mark the passage of time. A harrowing thought came to me then: What if Tsu'tey hadn't been playing?

Just as I resolved to reveal myself, finally blue skinned calves stepped across my line of sight. They paused in front of the lake, near where my footprints ended and the deep dragging gashes of mud the creature left behind began. He was very still for a long time, and as I could only see up to his calves, had no idea what he was thinking. I amused myself thinking that maybe it was guilt coursing through his body and mind, painful regret digging at him.

The muscled calves disappeared from my line of vision, and then reappeared soon after. A new worry came over me- I had succeeded in bringing him to me, but what now? I could never get the upper hand now, since I could not surprise him. Even if I moved from my spot just a little bit, I would be discovered. Not to mention that it'd be a complicated and embarrassing process to get me out of my predicament. I had definitely not thought this plan through.

He found me then.

One strong kick to the wood of the log and the entire thing split in half. I was left lying exposed, covered with bugs and dirt, encased in the two halves of log. His face changed from one that belied arrogant humor to surprise, and then a warmer gaze settled in his eyes.

Chuckling, he dragged me up from my bed of soil none too kindly and started to dust me off. "It's like cracking open a shell to get to the nut inside," he remarked. "You amuse me, Yishat."

Face burning with embarrassment; it was all I could do to keep my head high. "You played a game on me- it was not very nice. We've wasted much time here…" I fought to change the subject, but he would not let it go.

"Do I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor? Your shell was a hard one to break! Alas, you had me afraid there for a moment. That was, until I noticed there was no blood in the water and no drag trails on the other side of the lake. You played yourself well, but you are still untrained."

Before I could reply, he pulled me into his arms and sought my lips. I did not try to resist- it was as if someone had pulled away the covers to a mystery I'd long sought to solve. I intertwined my arms around his neck and pulled him closer still until none of us could tell where one ended and the other began. There was nothing between us but heated breaths and wandering hands. My legs felt like sticks of wood and I almost collapsed into his arms. Too soon, he pulled away. His hands were trembling just slightly. I saw in his eyes that he was wounded more than he would admit from the thought of my death.

"It's not too late- I will teach you to hide your tracks well, to stay hidden from the rest of the clan, the world. We can turn back now, it is not too late."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "You mean to say," I spoke tremulously, "you want me to stay with you out here?" I could still feel the heat from our kiss dancing over my lips.

He grinned, "that is what I mean, yes." His tail swished to and fro mischievously, which sobered me completely. I was greatly seduced by the idea of being alone with him, together, mated. However, if I went back now, all I'd lived for up to this point would become void.

"Something bad is going to happen to the clan." I told him levelly, not sure myself how I came to say something like this. "We have to go back." This must've been the forth or fifth time we've had to had this conversation.

Then I remembered the prophecy, and immediately started to gasp for breath. He caught me when I started to wobble on my feet and I told him of what Eywa had said to me. I held his arm tightly, hugging it to my chest as if afraid he could disappear from before my eyes. "I am scared, Tsu'tey," I told him, "I don't want you to die! You don't have to come with me, I can-"

"Stupid girl," he pushed a finger to my lips, silencing me. "Nothing will happen to me." He looked as if he had more to say, but he promptly closed his mouth. "If it means so much to you, then I suppose I have no choice." He shrugged lightly, but I saw the weight on his shoulders as he did.

* * *

After we ate the game he had hunted, Tsu'tey and I again found the path to the clan. Here the soil was worn and we began to see signs of Na'vi having been there. "There is a careless warrior's beaded necklace," Tsu'tey pointed out to me. "Only Eywa knows why it's there."

Suddenly, he stopped. "Are you afraid?"

Startled, I replied hastily, "Yes, but only for you."

He turned to look at me fully, "you're saying that your own life is not of value?"

"That is not…"

With a serious expression, he took my hands. "I have become your whole clan, haven't I?"

I'd known it long ago, but hearing him say it was too much. What was I to say to that? Yes, Tsu'tey, I am completely and utterly in love with you? No, of course not? What was the best thing to say and do? How would each choice affect Eywa's prophecy? I wasn't sure how it was to be fulfilled, but any unnecessary ties with Tsu'tey could prove deadly for him.

"If you were my whole tribe, I would've abandoned the clan to be with you." I said with much difficulty. I knew he wanted to bring up mating once more and I wasn't sure if I would have the same courage to reject him again. Just this morning I wanted more than anything to mate with him, but now my mind had cleared and opened to the possible consequences.

Tsu'tey took this in stride. "That's not it. You knew I would follow you." He put my hands on his chest, heated by the light and by something else. "Feel," He whispered hoarsely, pulling me into his arms, pressing our bodies flush against each other once more. "Feel, our hearts beat as one."

And they were.

"We are made from the same earth, from the same womb," He began to play with my hair absentmindedly. "I am afraid," here I looked up in surprise- Tsu'tey, the great warrior, afraid?

He continued solemnly, "I am afraid that we will not have this chance again."

"Why?" I asked, "what have you not told me?" I knew full well that Tsu'tey was hiding many things from me, what with how he continuously spoke in riddles.

He looked annoyed. "What makes you think you can change anything? Just because Eywa-"

I interrupted, "Why can you not wait? What is it that is bothering you? You know A'mari'k is planning something, and we've got to stop him… Or at least let Olo'Eyktan know about the seriousness of the threat! We still need extra warriors to hunt, and I doubt you won't be welcome. Even if to you all this is unimportant, this is absolutely no place to mate!"

He fell silent. "I understand."

We walked in silence onwards until the Hometree came into view. Apparently we had been spotted long ago, for Jakesully himself came into sight. I smiled at him, but he did not return the gesture. Instead he looked at us with something akin to guilt, and escorted us quietly back to the Hometree. It was as if, in that one look, he and Tsu'tey were able to have a full conversation.

The base of the tree was alive with activity, but nonetheless a crowd gathered to welcome Tsu'tey. He smiled and nodded politely, but I saw it did not reach his eyes. He gave vague answers to what questions he received and his mind was somewhere else entirely. I wondered if I had done the wrong thing to bring him back. I turned to catch Tsu'tey's eye. He had noticed that few warriors gathered to welcome him back. In fact, the crowd was peeling away now, each Na'vi returning to what they had been doing. Some were weaving new baskets, some stringing beads together and other making pots. I had never seen such a mass production of items before. Something was not right. They were supposed to be curious, Tsu'tey's return was worthy for a feast! Why did it seem like they simply did not care?

A cool hand touched my shoulder suddenly, making the hairs stand up at the nape of my neck. This only happened when _he_ was near.

A'mari'k gave me a cool grin and clapped me twice on the back. "Thanks for bringing Tsu'tey back. He was an old friend- I missed him dearly." He was smiling, but I saw his nostrils flare like a deranged Pa'li.

With an impending sense of doom, I understood why Tsu'tey could not wait.

A'mari'k approached Tsu'tey in several quick strides, and embraced him a bit too tightly. Seeing them side by side now, I realized Tsu'tey was thinner than A'mari'k. It was to be expected, what with their different lifestyles of late. Nonetheless, something was not right, and I knew A'mari'k was at the root of it. Thinking of the events after the ikran taming incident, I started to walk towards him, but was suddenly pulled back and into Ma'hi's arms.

"Yishat! Thank Eywa, I thought you were dead!" My sister sobbed into my shoulder, seemingly trying to bury me in her bosom. I returned the embrace half-heartedly and craned my neck to watch what Tsu'tey and A'mari'k were doing.

Amidst the chaos and confusion, the two warriors had disappeared completely.

TBC

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Hey guys! As you can see, this chapter is told from A'mari'k and Yishat's POV. I hope all have enjoyed. Remember, though: The beliefs of my characters are simply that: beliefs. They may be deluded or untrue, but that's why they are called beliefs. :D

I will change the rating as necessary when more intense sexual situations arise. My apologies to those that have been offended.

Thanks again to all readers and critics from last chapter! Please review, and critique (again?) if possible. ;P

Until the next chapter,

-Jasmine


	9. Understanding

**Hey guys. I know it's been a while, but I had some problems with the plot. Thankfully I think I have most of it worked out now, thus the new chapter! Yay!**

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A'mari'k's POV  
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Something was different about him.

"May I call you brother, then?" I asked halfheartedly, watching him with amusement from the corner of my eye. He seemed to be surprised.

"Why would you want to do that, my dear friend?" He replied, taking in the faraway sight of the tribe that had changed much in the last few weeks. Baskets were no longer where they used to be, and the whole place smelled of the incense burned to cleanse the Hometree in preparation for our visitors.

We were in the warrior's cove now, a once favorite place for both Tsu'tey and I. We played here as children, hid here as young Na'vi, and now sought solace here. I was somewhat surprised when I approached him for the first time since his arrival, only to have him pull me out of the Hometree and straight to the cove. In my mind, I always thought I would be the one to be leading him somewhere, not the other way around.

I shrugged in reply to his question. "You are, after all, going to mate with Yishat. Isn't that right, Tsu'tey?"

There was no reaction- he was guarding himself from me. "That is not your concern, though I have always been your brother."

I pretended not to have been brought back by his words. He was simply paying with me. "Now, brother, tell me what you plan to do."

He looked lost.

I probed further, "will you become a warrior once more?"

"No," he replied, "I have found a new calling."

"Oh?" I knew what he was thinking. There was no way he would become a warrior under my rule- one day we would leave for a hunt and he might be in an "accident". He had no chance of gaining the head warrior rank once more, as of now I had proved myself more worthy than he of the title. Even Olo'Eyktan dared not fight me.

"I might become adviser to Olo'Eyktan." He told me, standing in the middle of the cove, where I usually stood. He looked left to right, as if expecting some kind of ambush from behind the cracks in the rock.

I held back a laugh, knowing this was nothing more than a joke meant to sting me. "You? But what about the Tsahik? Will you be able to stand being so close to her?"

"What about her, friend?" He turned on me, looking rather icy. "I am offended that you think so little of me. Do you not think that perhaps I have moved on?" He kicked a loose pebble towards me.

I scoffed, rising from my seat on a flattened rock. "Don't joke with me, Tsu'tey. I know you better than anyone else. You are not one to give up so easily, not to mention I'm sure you are still bitter towards Jakesully."

The cove itself was a cave, and had an effect of making our voices echo. As Tsu'tey absorbed fully what I had said, water dripped from the low cave ceiling rather loudly. Then a murderous aura came over him and I thought he was going to hit me. "My brother, my friend, can we not do this any more?"

I stiffened. "You know I will not stop until I reach my goal."

"Your goal is unobtainable."

"It is not. I have support and the opportunity to succeed." My voice rose in volume as I spoke, "I will reach this goal either way, with or without you. I am not harmed by your choices, but my choices may decide whether you live or die!"

I had been shouting, but Tsu'tey just stood there, a hand on his chin, pondering. His calm demeanor caused my mood to worsen considerably. "We are getting no where with this, friend. Tell me now why you wanted to speak to me."

"I wanted to know your plan," he told me blandly. "That is it. I want to know every detail."

Derailed by his arrogance, I started. "You want me to tell you and have you run off to Jakesully?"

He sighed. "It does not make a difference anymore, friend. Jakesully knows more than you imagine- he is not an idiot. If you do not tell me, I will infer and find out sooner or later. Do not underestimate me." He looked me square in the eyes. My mind was working full speed, trying to find out just what he was trying to do. Even if I told him now, he could not do anything- he had no hope of rank.

Most probably against my better judgment, I told him of the general plan. I started out being very vague. He nodded in understanding as I explained the arrival of the Horse Clan head, which was to take place in just two moons. This was not anything he wouldn't find out by asking any other Na'vi.

"But that is not your plan, brother."

I studied him closely, "You are right; I would tell you only if you were to help me."

"And what if I do?"

That was unexpected. "What's going on, brother? Have you changed your mind?"

"Perhaps."

He looked off to the distance from the mouth of the cave. An onlooker looking in from outside might have assumed we were close friends, though in reality our acquaintance with each other were hanging by a thin string. We had both changed, myself in particular. "You have no where else to go, friend." I told him stiffly, "Why did you come back? It would've been easier for you if you had simply stayed away. Wasn't that why you left in the first place?"

Despite my problems with this Na'vi, he still bore the face I adored and looked up to as a child. I didn't want him to be a problem to me, but I still wanted him by my side.

When he didn't answer, I assumed what was obvious. "I've seen you with Yishat- it is clear to me your intentions. She and you are loose pieces of a puzzle that has been discarded. You have no place here now, especially if you do not wish to make a deal with me. Yishat's life is tied to yours, and as long as she is close to you and you remain a nuisance to my plans, she will be in danger."

I saw his jaw clench. Then he stated, "He's coming."

"Who?"

"Jakesully."

He was right. A Na'vi clad in colorful furs and skins was approaching the cove, and I could recognize the Olo'eyktan's feathered headdress anywhere. Tsu'tey exited the cove to greet Jakesully, looking relieved to be rid of me. I myself had no fear. By the time they came here, they would not be able to find me.

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**Yishat's POV**

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Ka'iil was glad to see me. I had been stumbling around in a daze, stopping Na'vi here and there but unsure of what to ask. I just knew that I needed to find Tsu'tey. Then Ka'iil stopped me. He set down the basket he was weaving and embraced me with strong arms. He was warm and smelled like home, but it didn't feel like it. "Ka'iil, what is going on?" I asked brokenly. "My mother is no where to be found, my father does not speak to me, and my sister is running left and right!"

"Oh," he shrugged distractedly, still glowing with a smile. "We have invited a member of the Horse Clan to stay here for a while and discuss supplies and… Things. Your father is busy brewing some of his best ale, and your mother has gone off to collect berries. She will be home by night, and then you shall have your reunion. You need not to do anything, Yishat- they are coming in two nights." Something told me it was okay to relax. I was safe with Ka'iil- I could worry about Tsu'tey later, after I understood what exactly was going on. I trusted him to be alright for just a few moments longer.

"Oh? But we never did that in the past, have we?" I sat next to him and inspected his work with awe, like I always did. It didn't feel awkward at all- Ka'iil did not treat me any differently or probe me about my whereabouts for the last few days. A few Na'vi came out of the Hometree carrying glossy jars, and started when they saw me. I had expected some kind of congratulation, or at least some acknowledgment, but instead they gathered their things and hurried on.

"What's going on?" I asked Ka'iil, feeling my skin prickle. A fist was clenching in my stomach, and I felt like an animal soon to be killed. "You are one of my closest friends, Ka'iil, you are like my brother. Please, tell me what I am not seeing."

"You do not see many things," he replied without hesitation, not taking his eyes from his work. "I understand you lost yourself on your journey to claim your ikran? How could you have been so careless?"

I opened my mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. I was stunned. Had that been what A'mari'k had told the clan? No, it couldn't be… I was both relieved and suspicious. "And Olo'Eyktan… What did he say?"

Ka'iil shrugged, "He had faith you would find your way back. So did Paiiyi, your family and myself… Although your sister was quite distraught…" Now he turned to face me directly, "Yishat, you must never do this again. I hope you found what you wanted, but never, ever again be so careless. Those Na'vi paid you no mind because they didn't believe Olo'eyktan. They thought you ran away."

I stared at him hard, probing him silently. He set down his almost completed basket gingerly. "They just assumed you had some kind of relationship with Tsu'tey, and ran away to find him."

If it were possible to dig a hole into the ground and bury myself, I would have. I felt all the blood drain from my face in an instant and then rush back. "How would they know that?" I bit out bitterly, "Did you believe it too?"

"They found his bow in your sleeping quarters," Ka'iil told me in a whisper. "And you know a warrior's bow is one of his most prized possessions… One rumor leads to another… "

I couldn't listen to him anymore after that. I couldn't hear anything. I was not embarrassed or horrified- I was ecstatic. There is no conspiracy claim against Tsu'tey or I, and the worst thing that could happen was incessant teasing. It was almost too good to be true. Could it be that A'mari'k was afraid of me? But if he was, why didn't he kill me when he had the chance? It would not have been hard or difficult for him to explain.

Before I plunged myself into deep confusion, Ka'iil shook me from my reverie. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" I asked innocently, almost giddy with joy. There was no harm done! Tsu'tey's disappearance could be explained as the careless actions of a Na'vi in love, and all would believe him! He could probably even play along now if he wanted to.

"Do you really favor Tsu'tey?" He looked as if he didn't care, but there was an edge of desperation in his voice that I grew wary of.

What should I say? What would Tsu'tey do? If I said yes, would it be unwise? Would it compromise anything? Was that what A'mari'k had wanted? I didn't know everything yet.

While I was digging up a response, Ka'iil sighed deeply and returned to his weaving. "He used to hate you, didn't he? Don't be blinded by the moon's light and fail to see that it is something you can never reach."

Crushed by my best friend's sudden pessimism, I shot up in my seat. "And what do you mean by that?" Did he think I was not good enough for Tsu'tey?

To my surprise, Ka'iil looked fairly upset himself. A dark fog passed over his eyes. He began to rise, gathering all his materials. "Maybe you should reach for something closer. Perhaps you'd be surprised at what you may find. He might never see you for who you are."

I had no time to reflect on the deeper meaning of those words, for Ka'iil was already leaving. In my dazed state, I just attributed his words to his tendency to drawl, so I paid them no mind. I waved goodbye to him, and was only slightly put off when he didn't wave back. He probably didn't hear me.

Then I was reminded of a more serious matter, and started once more to search for Tsu'tey.

* * *

Ka'iil had been right- mother came home while the last traces of Eywa's light were fading. She had a similar hysterical reaction as Ma'hi, embracing me so tightly I thought she was squeezing the very essence out of me. Even father joined in the embrace, and at any other time I would've been overwhelmed. However, at this time I could only think of Tsu'tey. They gave no indication that they heard the rumors of Tsu'tey and I, and did not bring it up.

There had been the desperate thought running through me that maybe he was already dead, but deep in my heart I knew A'mari'k could not do something so rash. My thoughts were confirmed when I spotted Tsu'tey and Jakesully walking back to the Hometree side by side. I had been leaning out of an opening in the tree's trunk, where I was able to see down onto the trail leading up to the tree. It was an odd sight to witness, one Na'vi clad in colourful feathers and beads, another bare-chested and glowing with an understated brilliance of his own. They seemed to be conversing in earnest, Jakesully in particular looking very serious. I sighed in relief, knowing Tsu'tey was safe.

Eventually one of them saw me and the conversation ended. Jakesully and Tsu'tey split paths as if they were suddenly strangers, and soon he was by my side. "Yishat, we have much to speak about. Come." Without another word, he took my wrist and dragged me down a familiar route in the Hometree. My eyes grew wide, "we are going to see Jakesully?" Tsu'tey nodded in response.

"I believe you are still very confused, but it is fine. Olo'eyktan is in control and he will explain to you what has to be done."

I wanted to tell him I had been worried when A'mari'k led him away, but he obviously was not hurt or even disturbed. The feeling of an animal nearing slaughter was once more present, and I felt as if something changed once again. I had no choice, however, other than to trust Tsu'tey for now.

Two large pieces of dried skin moved apart to reveal Olo'eyktan's chambers. It was simply but stylishly furnished with beaded chairs and sturdy, wicker tables littered with scrolls and weapons. Everything looked very old, and the stale scent of herbs and incense hung in the air. An assortment of covered and uncovered jars sat in the corner of the room. Olo'eyktan and Tsahik shared different working quarters, but both would likely return here to sleep.

Jakesully was perhaps the most colorful thing in the room, even though he was in the process of stripping his ceremonial garb. He acknowledged our entrance with a nod in our direction, and we waited for him to finish.

When he was finally in a similar state to Tsu'tey, he bade us sit. We were now able to speak somewhat as equals. Tsu'tey had been right- Jakesully was keener than I'd thought.

"Yishat, I see you." He spoke to me as if he were my father, his words caressing me in their warmth. For the life of me I could not bring myself to question his intentions. "Can you tell me what exactly happened? Tell me everything."

I looked to Tsu'tey as if for approval; Jakesully caught my anxiousness and assured me he already knew much- but he wanted to know what I did not.

In just a moment's hesitation, I decided it was probably best to let him know. He was, after all, Olo'eyktan, the Na'vi with the most power and control over the clan. Whilst Tsu'tey and I were just mere birds trying to fight against the winds, Jakesully was a mighty Tarouk Makto whose wingspan could overshadow even Eywa's light.

I gathered from the depths of my mind Eywa's words to me, and recounted their troubling contents to him. I described what Tsu'tey told me, paying mind to be attentive to his reactions, only to find he was completely silent. I described what I knew of A'mari'k and my confusion during homecoming. All through this I anticipated Jakesully's surprise, yet it never came.

"Do you want to be a hero, Yishat?" Olo'eyktan interrupted me to ask.

"Pardon?"

"You do indeed know what is most important, but you are missing many details. Yet in your story you spoke of what was happening in anticipation for acknowledgment- for compensation."

"N-no, that is not what I meant at all!" My voice rose in panic, and I tried to pass it off as humor. Luckily, Jakesully laughed and assured me all was fine. "You have done well to bring Tsu'tey back- he would never have returned on his own. That is most important. Now, let us speak of what we must do."

"Wait," I said, stopping Jakesully's train of thought. "Could you tell me what I don't know?"

Jakesully looked at Tsu'tey, "Tsu'tey may tell you all there is to know at a later time." He acted politely, but he was obviously implying that he was pressed for time.

Tsu'tey looked at me, but it wasn't a gaze meant for acceptance.

"I don't trust him. He plays games with me." I told Jakesully as seriously as I could, watching as he straightened and grinned widely, albeit uneasily.

"Well! I suppose I must then. Let us start by the beginning." He poured us both a bowl of strong tea. My hands were shaking as I received the drink, wondering if finally I would know everything. Tsu'tey nodded at me when Jakesully's back was turned, meaning he agreed with what I had said.

Then Jakesully began, "A'mari'k has always been an ambitious young Na'vi, I always knew that well. He had a somewhat troubled childhood which was aggravated by the death of both his parents in the war against the sky people." I noticed his voice bore absolutely no regret, as if pushing aside what involvement he had in the incident. It was probably for the better. "He was engulfed in hate and resentment, and gathered others in an attempt to overthrow me.

"Such attempts are common and usually they are never carried out. Neytiri noticed A'mari'k's strange antics first, such as the visits to the warrior's cove that has only increased in frequency. We discussed this in brief, and pushed it aside. Needless to say, we did not take him seriously. However, he thought then to include Tsu'tey in his plans, which would indeed make them take on a higher success rate. Tsu'tey was very influential, you see.

"If I am not mistaken, Tsu'tey himself was battling many demons in his mind at that time. It was a time of change for all, and not many were sure or particularly happy. Tsu'tey visited the Tree of Souls and received a vision, much like yours."

I looked to Tsu'tey, who looked back at me solemnly. I thought I had been the only one.

Jakesully continued, "In that vision he was told that he was too valuable a weapon for A'mari'k to manipulate, and that for the good of the clan, he must cast himself off into the forests. He was also told that a certain young Na'vi would seek him out. The vision ended there."

"I am the young Na'vi!" I exclaimed, though in part I had always known it. Tsu'tey had told me himself that our fates were intertwined. Tsu'tey smiled softly and tugged lightly on my braid, as if reprimanding me. "Unfortunately I was not told if I was to return or to keep this young Na'vi by my side. But alas, she was too stubborn."

The two male Na'vi shared a hearty laugh while I promised to myself I would get him back for this. "Why not have both?" Jakesully suggested lightly. I hoped he would not elaborate, and he didn't. "And so Tsu'tey left, but not before he described to me what had happened. I was in his debt for his sacrifice…"

Which sacrifice? I wondered? Him leaving or for giving up Neytiri?

"He did tell me to look after you, to make sure you did not leave the clan. He didn't want to risk having to come back, in case A'mari'k should take advantage of him again. He is indeed a force to be reckoned with… I would have nipped the problem in the bud if A'mari'k had offered me any chance to turn on him. I myself believed Tsu'tey should not have left, for I could have made him my advisor and kept an eye on him as well…

"Nonetheless, A'mari'k must have suspected something, because he took you out on that very spontaneous ikran journey. You didn't actually claim an ikran, did you?"

My face reddened considerably. "Well, Olo'eyktan, I had actually asked him to take me to claim an ikran… I didn't think it would have been a problem. I am not sure if I managed to claim one, though I have recollection of it. I cannot call on it though."

He thought about this for a while. Tsu'tey spoke for the first time, "Even if it was not the traditional way, I believe she did manage to catch and tame one. A'mari'k most likely killed it." I looked at him sharply, eyes wide.

"That's not very helpful." Jakesully muttered. "Let us let it pass for now- it is not important. After this, you fell off a cliff? Is that true?"

My voice came trembling, "yes, I was flying on the ikran and I lost my balance." Telling him A'mari'k let me fall would've been too trivial and hard to back up.

"Hmm… And that was when you had the vision of Eywa? She told you that there are to be three nights of great importance. The first night, you will end your childhood and open your eyes. You have already experienced this by being delivered from ignorance…"

I tried not to let it show on my face as I remembered what Tsu'tey had attempted to 'end my childhood'. Thankfully, Jakesully either didn't notice or didn't care. "Then those you love will be struck in the heart, that is troubling indeed, but it may not be physical. In fact, it may have already happened. Finally, you are to 'become Eywa'? It is fairly open to interpretation what this might mean."

I nodded, having told him my vision in detail just earlier.

"Afterwards, you managed to survive the forest and find Tsu'tey. You somehow convinced him to return, and here we are."

This meant that if Tsu'tey had any ambitions, Jakesully did not know them.

"What about A'mari'k?" I asked. He was the most important. There were more holes in my knowledge of him than in one of my poorly woven baskets.

"A'mari'k's little group grew in number, in part because I had no choice but to make him head warrior. He gained influence quickly, and was able to convince many warriors to follow his path. In my knowledge a conspiracy plot has never gone so far before. It was the war, you see. We hadn't had one such as that for very long, not to mention I was… Different."

I looked down in shame, staring at my now empty bowl. Jakesully poured more tea into it. Now that he admitted that he was not the same as us, I found it didn't help me feel any better. It was what I'd wanted all along, but now… All of a sudden I had no more hate or resentment towards this Na'vi... And a true Na'vi was what he was. Why hadn't I seen this earlier?

"I always knew where he was, but I had no way of knowing their plans. I did not know what to do- I couldn't alarm the rest of the clan. To my knowledge, most of his group is made of warriors.

"Recently, we have been having some trouble with the neighboring clans. The Horse Clan aided us when we moved to this Hometree, as you know. Now they constantly require our help as they get into squabbles with the Tipani clan over trading. Something like this never happened before, as Eywa has always provided. Yet much of their land was destroyed in the great fires, and so they are lacking in resources. It is unfortunate, as trading brings about many problems. A'mari'k suggested that we join forces with the Horse Clan and train as one, so our warriors don't have to run back and forth and for added protection. He managed to propose this idea in front of most of the tribe and even Tsahik."

"He is very keen…" Tsu'tey murmured, as if amused.

"But not keen enough." Jakesully stated blandly. "I could not refuse. Besides, it could be helpful to us. Sometimes, only by agitating a situation can we realize the problem. I know he plans to do something, so here is what we must do."

Here he leaned forward, and naturally so did we. He spoke in whispers, "a representative from the Horse Clan will be arriving in roughly two moons. We must make preparations as if we do not know. Nonetheless, when they are here, we must be careful and keep track of all A'mari'k's group does. In this group are included Zuku and Ti, both seasoned warriors. I have a list of their names, if it will help."

Jakesully stood and strode purposefully to his table and picked up a scroll, handing it gingerly to Tsu'tey. "Be very careful. There is no other copy."

Tsu'tey nodded and strapped the scroll to his belt. "What must we do?"

"It is not what _you_ must do," Jakesully smiled, "it is what Yishat must do."

I started, to the Olo'eyktan's amusement. Then it sank in and I understood. "It is because I am the most clueless of all and closest to what family he has?"

Tsu'tey nodded, "he does not believe you know what he is up to." I tried not to feel indignant at the reply, for it was a good thing, was it not?

"Indeed," said Jakesully, "You will become a hero, one that will not be celebrated, but a hero in your own right. First of all, I must ask. Have you and Tsu'tey plans to mate?"

Oh, Eywa. This was not the way I'd planned for this confrontation to happen. "No… It may prove an obstacle to… Whatever you want me to do."

"That is true." Jakesully sighed in relief, "I am happy to see that you have managed to resist Tsu'tey's charms, which I am sure he played on you."

This time Tsu'tey seemed embarrassed, "please, as a friend, Olo'eyktan. I entreat you to stop this teasing!"

"But surely I am more to you than your friend, Tsu'tey. You have done too much for me. You are my older brother."

"You must not say that…"

Perhaps this was some male Na'vi business that I wasn't familiar with. I covered my face with my hands as the pointless banter continued and the original subject was forgotten.

Eventually the two men quieted and Jakesully picked up where he left off. "There is not much we can do other than to keep a close eye on him. Once he does anything suspicious, we can pick him out for endangering the representative, which I am sure he might. Help him to an extent if you must- I will protect the two of you. If committed, this is a crime worthy of punishment, so we will disable him. This is true for all the members in his group, in case he has a back up plan or if in fact, that was his plan- to get caught. There may be some who have slipped through the cracks, so both of you must be very careful. I will be watchful as well.

"Once the whole ordeal is over, likely there will be a cowardly warrior who will tell us what we want to hear, and then we will persecute accordingly. In case they are planning a battle, we will take away their weapons for 'safe keeping'. If you reason with A'mari'k, especially with witnesses, I'm sure he must surrender. It would be too strange not to."

We both expressed our agreement. By now much time had passed and the sky was completely dark outside. I heard the clattering of wood bowls and thudding of baskets as Na'vi cleaned up after the dinner feast. We had missed it, and my stomach was paying the consequences.

When it gave a loud protest, the secretive mood was ruined and Jakesully was ushering us out of his chambers. "Tsahik will be here soon, she does not know yet. I believe I should tell her- it is time."

And then he shut us out. Although we could've easily sought him out again by simply lifting the draping flaps of skin that made up his door, we dared not to. The door was made of the skin of two very powerful ikran. I could not remember the historical significance behind them at the moment.

Tsu'tey and I walked in silence until we were out of earshot, and then we drew closer to each other. Closer and closer, until our hips touched. Closer still, until his arms were around me and his lips almost violently crashed into mine. Despite the rough start, the kiss we shared was chaste. I held his head, felt his messy braid, heard his tail flicking against the wall of wood behind us.

"What was that for?" I wondered rather pointlessly. "Do I charm you as well?"

"It just came to my realization that you are no longer a girl. You have learned to manipulate, and managed to play even the Olo'eyktan to your advantage. I would not have dared, but you managed to do it effortlessly. Looking at you makes me realize that you have many opportunities ahead of you to do great things… Whilst I can only strive to complete what I have started."

For a moment I wondered if my father felt the same way when he looked at Ma'hi or I. "Don't feel that way…. It's all about circumstance," I told him, "and besides, I only did so because your eyes told me to."

"My eyes? I did not know they could speak… It was you who thought of what you needed to say."

Tsu'tey was making himself feel older than he was. He was looking at his limits, what he can no longer do, as apposed to what he still can. "Whatever you might think, we both have our limitations. It may be too late for you to learn basket weaving, as your fingers are thick from battle. On the other hand, I was not even given a chance at the bow." I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the thought.

"But how do you know?"

Unknowingly, we had arrived at my family's chambers. I remember this particular hollow in the tree so well that I know every grove and ring in the walls. Mother and Father were likely running around making more preparations, as the room was empty.

"Your bow!" I remembered suddenly, pushing past Tsu'tey to rush at the pile of baskets lingering near my hammock. They weren't as I placed them, and I had the sinking feeling that-

The bow was no longer here.

Someone had taken it, most likely the Na'vi that started the rumour. A shiver ran through me, for though the bow held bitter memories for me, I missed it dearly. I was numb from all that was told to me today, and now this blow struck me hard. I felt Tsu'tey's hands on my shoulders, his breath at my ear: "It is just a bow, Yishat. I am not upset. I did not expect you to keep it."

He was right. Materially, it was just a piece of carved wood. It may have once been important to him, but it was worthless to him now as anything but a painful reminder of his past. Tsu'tey was no longer a warrior, and he may never be one again. He would mix in with the rest of the clan who had no particular role, wandering without purpose. I could not imagine Tsu'tey as anything but a proud warrior.

"But even if it means nothing to you, I must find it. It is the gift you offered to me." I was going to say more, but stopped myself.

There was an awkward silence as Tsu'tey seemed to debate to himself what he must say. "If you wish, I can find you something else…" He smiled in that particular way and I knew he was thinking of something to tease me. "…Maybe a tutor to help you with your horrible weaving, or maybe some thread so you can fix my tunics…"

I was just about to berate him for his bawdiness when I caught sight of the one Na'vi I had no interest to see right now. Tsu'tey noticed his presence as well, and we pulled away from each other quickly.

A'mari'k regarded us with content amusement, approached us and patted me on the back. "If my brother Tsu'tey will allow it, I must steal Yishat for a few moments. It has been so long, and I have dearly missed her."

Without a word, Tsu'tey nodded to A'mari'k and did not even look at me. I swallowed thickly, realizing I was to be put to a test. A'mari'k led me into my family's quarters while Tsu'tey walked away. Each one of his footsteps echoed terribly in my ears. I was so safe here, amongst the things I had grown up with. But at the same time, I was not.

I remembered what Jakesully had told me of A'mari'k, and swore to follow through. I would forget everything about A'mari'k, I would become clueless and naïve. I would not remember his coldness, how he had tried to kill me. I must act as if I have noticed but pushed it aside for a lack of understanding.

Biting my lip, I added a certain lightness in my step and tried to revert to times past, when I was childish and completely unaware. My plan could either work brilliantly or alert A'mari'k that something was terribly wrong. I felt the pressure building up within me with each step we took, and just before I sat down, I sprang at him. His first reaction was to defend himself, but when he realized that I was in fact embracing him, he chuckled. "What's this? Did you miss me as well, sister?"

I pulled away from him, and looked into his eyes. "I see you," the words came out as smoothly as I could ever have intended, but internally I was forcing down nausea. This Na'vi was my worst enemy, but I had to act as if he were my best friend.

"And I you," he replied tenderly, looking as if nothing was amiss. "I must say I had worried that you would not return safely… It is such a relief that you did. Eywa has certainly blessed you."

I bit back a snarky reply and answered brightly, "it is Eywa's will indeed!"

He brought a basket of fruit to the table and set it down in front of me. My stomach was practically singing at the sight of it- I was starving. My mouth watered, but I was not sure if I should be eating. The fruit looked fine, but I had no way of knowing if he had done anything to it beforehand.

The scent of the fruit tempted me, and as I considered, A'mari'k took a fruit himself and bit into it. He raised an eyebrow, as if challenging me. There were roughly four types of fruit in the basket, some I had seen, and some I had not. I decided that since all the fruit had thin skin, there was no way he could have poisoned any of them without it showing. I decided to take extra precaution and asked, "What is that fruit you are eating? I have not tried it before."

As A'mari'k gave a brief description of the fruit, I took one and ate slowly, fighting against the ravenous urges my stomach was sending me. I hoped I came across as inconspicuous, and thankfully A'mari'k did not seem to notice. I had no choice but to eat- the evidence of my hunger was obvious.

"I hope you have completed Eywa's mission for you?" He asked, wiping his fingers on a cloth from the basket. I did so as well.

"Yes," I replied, knowing he did not know what the vision held. "I brought Tsu'tey back, and that is all I could ever ask."

"And why did you bring him back?"

I cleared my throat, "I was hoping things could return to normal- I couldn't stand it when he was gone. I didn't know it then, but I was favoring him."

Well, it was part truth, and nothing he didn't know. A'mari'k shifted in his seat, "I'm sorry, Yishat. Tsu'tey's body has deteriorated and we do not have need for more warriors. As you know, we are to join forces with the Horse Clan."

"Yes," I huffed, "Well then, I suppose you've done all you can. Tell me more about how we are going to join forces? Many Na'vi seem very excited about it, and I have missed so much…"

I could tell A'mari'k was probably holding some details back as he explained, "The Horse Clan has been getting into trouble with the Tipani, and if we combine forces, there will be less difficulty to go to each others' aids. As you know, despite our strength, we are starting another life here. We are close to the borders of many rogue clans who can join together and take this land from us."

"But- but it is Eywa's land!" I was shocked at this new revelation. Never had we worried about wars in the past.

A'mari'k looked surprised. "I thought you did not think well of Eywa. …In any case, it is the competition for resources that drives them. Unfortunately Eywa requires time to produce all that she does."

"I see, so we must make a good impression on the representative."

"That is correct. I think they will accept. It is, after all, a peaceful alliance."

Oh, we were both such liars. Feeling like I had gotten all that I could out of him without sounding suspicious, I changed the subject.

"I am glad to see you again, brother. How is Ma'hi?"

After that, the conversation drifted comfortably into A'mari'k's personal life with Ma'hi. Recipes tried, bad jokes, trials, failures and torn tunics were what consisted of his existence with my sister. Ma'hi no longer mourned her inability to bear children and instead sought to improve her skills. I thought to myself that I would want a peaceful life like this with Tsu'tey one day. I would like to mend his tunics; I would like to burn his food- accidentally, of course.

Despite all that I know of A'mari'k, I am glad that he has kept my sister safe.

* * *

Tsu'tey did not mention mating again, nor did he try to kiss me. I think he realized that as long as he made his intimacy with me public, we would both be in danger of each other. The list of perpetrators was long and included the names of several Na'vi who saw us both at many points during the day. It would simply be too difficult to manage a bond between us in such a time.

After it was all over, he promised me, we would mate.

"I am happy I listened to you," he told me abruptly when we ran into each other once. It was the morning of the Horse Clan representative's arrival. I was enlisted to prepare food, and I had barely enough time to understand what he had said. "You stopped me when I could not have stopped myself."

And then he was gone.

Even though we barely saw each other, I knew we were becoming closer. I could not help but smile to myself stupidly the rest of the day, knowing that somewhere, Tsu'tey was thinking of me as well.

Bowls upon bowls upon baskets of fruit, fresh meats and nuts crowded the feast table. It was much more extravagant than any feast I'd ever seen, though I felt it too much just for the arrival of one Na'vi. Soon after I voiced my thought, one Na'vi woman replied that even though just one Na'vi was invited, they would likely bring several companions. This is for safety reasons and it just looks better sometimes.

Tsa'hik was leading the food preparations, tasting everything daintily. Jakesully was not allowed to do this because no one could be sure if he could stop eating once he started. It was really just a remnant of a rule from when he was new to the clan. He was so interested in everything all the time. Now he had much more self control, but Na'vi of the clan still liked to joke about him in this way.

Neytiri caught my eye and nodded politely to me, looking as if she were desperate to speak to me. I could understand why. She must be angry for being left out for so long and partially bringing about A'mari'k's chance for success. She had unknowingly played into his trap even though her mate had known about his plans. I could not imagine what she must be thinking as she looked at me. I myself felt a mix of emotions for her- mostly admiration still, but I could not shake the fact that Tsu'tey was desperately in love with her at one time. We might never get along as we once did ever again.

The Hometree was arranged into two sections. One section provided a large, round table where there Olo'eyktan, Tsahik, some Na'vi of importance, and the Horse Clan representatives would eat and discuss. This table was on a higher ground so that those sitting there would be provided with a view of each Na'vi in the clan. This was where A'mari'k would sit. The rest of the clan would occupy the rest of the space and eat like they usually did.

The day passed and the time came. I had almost missed it- their arrival had been swift and quiet. They came on Pa'li, draped in the skins of beasts I had not seen before. Their facial structure was different from ours- their eyes smaller, chins more angular. Their teeth were smaller in their mouths, which was noticed when they smiled.

The leader was a female, flanked by another and three males. She had decorated her face impressively with colored oils and radiated warmth in her smiles. They dismounted from their Pa'li and progressed on foot towards us, first shaking the hands of each warrior, then bowing respectfully to us home tenders, of who were much greater in number. Finally Jakesully greeted them once they entered the Home tree. Kind words were exchanged; "I see you"s said, and then he lifted the arm of the female and shouted to the clan,

"I present to the Omaticaya Clan: Siryanin, head warrior of the Horse Clan!"

Cheers sprang forth like flowers blooming from the earth, and Siryanin bowed. "I am pleased to meet all of you," she told us in a breathy, smoky voice. "I see you- you are all so beautiful!" She then introduced each of the Na'vi accompanying her to Jakesully, who shook the hand of each. Neytiri stood by his side, looking impressed but keeping her composure. "And this," Siryanin took the hand of a handsome Na'vi male, "is Toranyu, our Olo'eyktan's advisor."

"I see you," Jakesully said, "It is an honour to meet you. I myself have an adviser, and you may refer to him if you need anything during your stay and I am not available."

The Na'vi of the clan looked left and right at each other in confusion- we never had an adviser to the Olo'eyktan. However, we were smart enough not to say anything, in case it rouses suspicion in the members of the Horse Clan. A'mari'k took his place beside Jakesully, face devoid of any emotion.

_'Oh Eywa,'_ I thought desperately, _'please, don't let it be him. How had he managed to persuade Jakesully?'_

But it was another Na'vi who stepped out from the crowd and bowed to Siryanin. It was Tsu'tey. A cheer broke out once more, and I almost sobbed in relief. Comically, I saw A'mari'k's face fall a little bit. He had planned to be as close as possible to Siryanin, and had taken every precaution. But now Tsu'tey was closer.

Yet I that this would do nothing but add wood to his flame.

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

I finally updated! I know a lot of you have waited a long time for this update. You all must thank** FanFictionAddiction4EVER **for the review that lifted my spirits and drove me to finish working with this chapter. Sometimes I do need that extra bit of motivation. :) Thanks so much.

I hope you all have enjoyed this update. **Reviews and crits are welcome. ;D I do read every one of them and each one just eggs me on that much more. :D **

Anyway, we are coming closer to the climax of the story! Hurrah! Press the review button to see it sooner. :D

Thanks guys,

-Jasmine


	10. Apology

**The chapters just keep getting longer! I'm going to be updating faster from now on. There's probably only one or two chapters left after this. Please note that this chapter is the most crucial, and it may be somewhat confusing. It is also mainly based in A'mari'k's POV. More stuff on Yishat and Tsu'tey will come next chapter, as well as the explanation for what is to occur this chapter. **

* * *

A'mari'k's POV

* * *

It was only a minor setback. Zuku glanced at me, and I shook my head dismissively. No matter. Siryanin and Toranyu both greeted Tsu'tey respectfully, and Jakesully watched on with pride. He was doing a very good job of deliberately avoiding my eye, which was difficult as we were so close to each other.

The feast had begun. Siryanin was interested in me, and took me to her side immediately. "Come, sit with me. I would love to hear of your warriors." I grinned, knowing half the battle was already won. We arrived at the feast table and seated ourselves as thus:

Jakesully and Tsahik sat together. Tsu'tey was on Olo'eyktan's left and Lady Mo'at to his left. Toranyu took to Neytiri's right, Siryanin beside him and I to her right. This was the order of the Na'vi with importance. The others sat in a disorganized style and chattered amongst each other, taking in the fresh new perspective of another clan's life. I gave me great pleasure to see that Tsu'tey was seated far from both Siryanin and Toranyu. It seemed that Toranyu was to be making most of the important decisions as adviser to the Horse Clan's Olo'eyktan. At the same time, I was far from Jakesully and Tsu'tey, and could say whatever I wanted. Siryanin must also hold a fair amount of political power as well, for she spoke to Toranyu as equal.

The rest of the Omaticaya clan Na'vi were a mess of bodies, as they always were. I picked out Ma'hi in her bright braid and her parents sitting close together. She smiled warmly when she caught my eye, as if proud that I was so important. If only she knew…

I hadn't decided what I would do with Ma'hi under any circumstance. I was sure she would follow me wherever I went, but what place does a girl like her have in my new world?

Siryanin's eyes were gleaming with a tint of green when she set them on me once more. She was beautiful, I would not deny that. If I were not the supposed mate of Ma'hi, I would not have hesitated to flirt openly with her. It was obvious that she had not mated, as she wore colorful colors which would've been unsuitable for mated females.

"Your clan is so beautiful- the scenery was excellent. Where we lived, there is nothing but unending grasses, stretching into the distance." She made a motion to describe the vastness of the plains she must live on.

"Yes, indeed it is. I imagine that life for your clan must be much different from ours." I poured her some drink, and she nodded. Before she could speak, Toranyu told Jakesully, "we will stay for approximately three moons to survey the area, resources available and the state of your warriors. When we have finished our examinations, Siryanin and I will make a decision on behalf of our Olo'eyktan."

"That is wonderful!" Jakesully replied with a wide smile which was not returned. Toranyu seemed very stern and constantly held a frown on his face. It seemed as if he was not impressed by anything. Tsahik, who was seated next to Toranyu, tried her best to engage him in conversation as the food was brought to the feast table.

I decided it was best to bring out the serious manner later after we had all shared a meal. The Horse Clan Na'vi were sure to be hungry after making their long journey here. Siryanin ate with gusto, commenting on the freshness of the food, whilst Toranyu looked around with barely concealed disdain. He picked at a piece of smoked meat.

"He is hard to please," I whispered to Siryanin, making sure that my voice was low.

She sighed and put down the fruit she was peeling, "he was put on strict orders to observe everything. Our Olo'eyktan is very meticulous, but Toranyu has always been a picky individual. Do not worry, though- he is more pleased than he seems."

I nodded, smiling to myself that Siryanin seemed to have put her trust in me already. "I am glad he is, for what is decided in the next three moons will be of great importance to my clan."

"Oh?" She turned her attention fully towards me, leaning over the table to listen. I saw Jakesully's eyes flicker towards me, and Tsu'tey leaned back in his seat. I was making them uneasy. Good. Unfortunately, I would not tell her anything she did not already know. I needed to build up a stable foundation with her if I were to get anywhere with my plan. She thought she was here to discuss a sharing of supplies and training techniques; she would not expect what I wanted to propose. I must get her to see things my way so I could manipulate her trusting nature to my advantage. Suddenly the plan changed.

* * *

It was night when I saw Siryanin again. She was strolling back to the Home tree with Toranyu by her side. She must've spent the day examining our land and the resources it had to offer, and by the looks of it, she was very impressed.

"Siryanin, I see you." I greeted her respectfully, and Toranyu in the same way.

"I see you, head warrior A'mari'k." She smiled again, flashing teeth flattened by a plant-based lifestyle. I was told there was little meat in the plains besides small game. "I am thoroughly impressed with the wildlife and vegetation around here, much of which I have never seen before. Eywa is truly a mother of creativity."

Toranyu rolled his eyes rudely and addressed Siryanin, "if you are to dawdle, then I am going to retire for the night. You know where to find me."

"Just go, then!" Siryanin replied roughly, and Toranyu disappeared into the Home tree.

"You two are on bad terms?" I asked her when we were alone again. We began to wander away from the Home tree as we talked.

"I suppose you could say that. I never agreed with his attitude. You may think me strange, but I have never met such an agreeable Na'vi as you. Many male warriors, Toranyu being one of them, detest me for my skill."

Suddenly I had an idea, and proposed to show her the warriors' cove. "Meet your warriors?" She said, wide eyed, "that is to be done tomorrow, and I cannot do any examination without Toranyu." A strange look came over her eyes.

"That is fine- the warriors have likely gone home. I just want to know more about you, that is all. I don't believe I have ever seen such a fine female warrior."

She laughed shyly, the sound ringing like bells in my ears. "Well, it was not easy for me to have climbed to this position… When I was small…"

I did not have the heart to listen fully to her story- I just nodded and expressed concern or joy at the appropriate times. Her story was not exactly miraculous, which led me to wonder about the quality of the Horse Clan warriors. I wanted to establish a friendship between us, and Siryanin was making it exceptionally easy. I could tell she was hesitant of visiting a secluded cave alone with me, so I lead her around as she spoke.

Finally she finished her story, and smiled at me with apology. "It is so late- I'm sorry I took up so much of your time. I should retire for the night."

I bade her good night and watched her walk away, a strange sensation blossoming in my chest that was not anything I'd ever known before.

A hand suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me back into the woods. Instinctively I reached for my weapon, but relaxed when I realized it was simply Zuku.

"What were you _thinking?_" He hissed angrily, glaring me down. Here was one of the moments when I was sorely disappointed that he was taller. "You almost brought her to the cove! You know we are mass piling weapons there! Never bring her near there!"

Ah. How could I have forgotten?

"Do not worry, brother. I led her back, did I not?" Jakesully had recently discussed taking away the weapons, and we had complied. What he didn't know was that we were creating new weapons. We now had enough to arm an entire army if needed. In the last few weeks with preparations being made to welcome Siryanin and Toranyu, no one noticed the quickly depleting wood and stone reserves.

Zuku's entire form emanated anger. "Don't 'brother' me, A'mari'k. We demand to know what is going on."

_How could he have known that anything was different?_ "Let us not speak here, then."

Fixing me with another inscrutable glare, Zuku and I made our way hurriedly to the cove. Mawey, Ti and some others were there, and stared coldly at me when I entered.

"What is it?" I asked innocently.

Ti threw down the bow she was fixing and spat, "She was so close we could hear her! What were you thinking? At least you could have let us know! What is it going to be now? Is she to know of us?"

"Hush!" I hissed at her, causing her to recoil. "We have no need to force them to act against us- indeed, we can act together. Head warrior Siryanin is weak and naïve, but she holds great political power. She is on good terms with me, and I sense that she is not happy in her clan. If we can convince her…"

Zuku slammed his hand on a wooden table, effectively silencing me. I was seething- _how dare he?_ "What _then?_" He asked, face devoid of emotion. "What then? You convince her, fine. She brings her clan's warriors in the middle of the night and we attack the clan together?"

I raised an eyebrow, surprised he managed to see through me so easily. "That is correct."

Zuku sat down slowly. The cove was enshrouded in silence. It was a good plan, I thought. It was better than trying to make them turn against us, which could have backfired in many ways.

"You assume everything will go according to plan," Zuku murmured. "You do not know what she might do."

"If she does not agree to our requests, she will be angry and our first plan will be executed. Either way, Jakesully is weakened, and we can-"

"I don't understand you." Zuku cut in, looking exasperated. "We could attack at any time- we could force our way out and stay out! No one would be able to bring us back. We are strong, A'mari'k. They have no knowledge of when we may strike, and if we do it quickly, they will fall fast!"

He was right. We had more weapons and supplies in our holding than ever. It was a prime time to act, in case Siryanin was to check this cove tomorrow. _Now she knew where it was._

"But it would mean we discard all the planning we have made so far!" I protested, thinking something must be amiss for this rushed request to be made.

Ti added, "let it throw them off! They will not expect something so sudden."

Many pairs of eyes looked towards me. I saw in them a desire to act, muscles twitched and released under the arms of my warriors, and I saw irritation. I was hesitating.

"You _want_ her, don't you?" Ti whispered hoarsely. When I did not reply, she stepped up towards me. "You want to rule your new land with _her_. What about _us,_ A'mari'k? What about Ma'hi? She is a good Na'vi, and I thought you cared for her!"

She was so closed I smelled the rot in her breath. "Don't you dare…" I started, only to have her continue her tirade tirelessly,

"What about us? What will we gain by following you?"

Enraged, I raised my hand and struck her across the face, watching as she crumpled to the ground with a whimper. Mawey flinched and looked away. "You are filth," I spat at her, "You are nothing without me, all of you! Ti, you were going to be turned away from a warrior's life before _I_ caught you and taught you the bow myself! If it weren't for _me_, you would be rotting at home, mending your father's tunics!"

I tore my gaze from the incredulous Ti to the trembling Mawey, "And you! I plucked you from the dirt not too long ago because I saw something different in you. If it weren't for me, you would never have even had a chance to become something great! You were nothing when I first saw you!" Mawey looked down and seemed as if he were going to cry.

And then there was Zuku, who spoke as soon as my eyes landed on him. "What about me, A'mari'k? What will you say about me? I watched over you since you were just a child. It was I who taught you how to use your first dagger. What will you say about me?"

At this point I was shaking with rage. We had come so far- I had no patience for this. Instead of answering Zuku directly, I told the rest of the warriors menacingly, "Do you know how easily I could crush you all?"

My words did not inflict fear as I had hoped. Zuku stood up and walked towards Ti, helping her to stand. "I will tell you now," he spoke to me in a calm tone, "that Jakesully offered all of us better quarters, increased rations, and has generally improved our living conditions overall. What can you offer?"

I stood there for a moment, stunned. Ti straightened and looked at me expectantly, and Mawey looked distressed._ Oh, no. This was not happening. My warriors, who had sworn to serve me, were not going to desert me at this time!_

"You care only about material items," I grind out, "Jakesully can offer you all of that, but he cannot offer you freedom. Only I can do that. I can lead you into a new life!" I stepped closer to Zuku, menacing. "What about our mutual dislike for Jakesully? Has that all changed when he offered you a sack of grain?"

"We dislike him, and we are free to. But you, A'mari'k, you hate him. You hate him with a passion that runs deeper than the Omaticayan blood in all of us, and you just want to see him dead. You want to run away and live a life with no Olo'eyktan and no Eywa. And you will die."

I took in a deep breath, refusing to let the insanity boiling within me to surface. Were they afraid all of a sudden? "Jakesully may have offered you better living conditions, but what will happen to you when you are no longer a warrior?"

A shocked silence ensued from all the warriors, which I took to my advantage, "Tomorrow Siryanin will examine all of us, all of you. I expect for you to go with the plan _–the new plan-_ and if tomorrow is not successful, we will discuss this again."

Fixing me with a wary glare, Zuku sat down again, defeated.

"When we defeat all the clans as brothers and sisters, with or without the help of Siryanin's warriors," I explained, trying to amend for the damage I had done, "we will rule all the land together. There will not be one or two, _we will all be equal._"

* * *

Yishat's POV

* * *

"But what am I to do? I don't even know where he is!" I complained to Tsu'tey, utterly lost on the next course I must take.

"Do not worry," he whispered into my ear, "you are the only hometender with free access to Olo'eyktan, Tsahik and I, as well as the Horse Clan officials. Eventually he will ask you to do something."

"Do something- something to harm you?"

"Most likely. When that happens, all you need to do is to let us know, and we will do the rest."

What was he saying? Stage a problem and blame A'mari'k? Was that not dishonest? _Then again, _I thought, _much worse things may happen if action isn't taken._

Tsu'tey disappeared into his quarters and that was that. I was not his mate, and therefore could not set foot in his territory uninvited. There was nothing to do but to turn around and walk away.

Then I saw a purple blossom dangling from a thick braid, and knew from this splash of color exactly who this Na'vi was. "Paiiyi!" We embraced happily, I holding her scent in my mind even after she pulled away. She always smelled so fresh.

"Yishat! I was so worried about you! I'd heard that you'd come back, but… Oh," She looked as if she was overtaken with emotion and pressed a hand to her face. "I missed you so!"

The rest of the night was spent talking about all sorts of trivial matters on my hammock. We laid side by side, our forearms touching, looking up into nothing in particular. All of a sudden I felt much older, much worldlier. Here was my old friend whom I'd always looked up to, and now I was aware of so many more things than she. While she chatted and giggled about this handsome Na'vi and that rascal troublemaker, I listened and was transported for moments back to a past time. That was all gone, and it pained me that I could not tell this to Paiiyi, who just assumed I was the same as I always was.

Nonetheless, the short amount of time I spent with Paiiyi, giggling over things of no importance, felt like a breath of fresh air. Here I didn't have to be mature or manipulative. I needn't worry for anything I said.

"Tell me about Tsu'tey." She said suddenly, causing me to blink.

"What about him?"

"You know the rumors…" Something in her voice made me turn to take a closer look at her. Her voice held a bit of guilt, and I groaned.

I sat up straight, making the hammock swing this way and that, "You started them, didn't you?"

"I did. I'm really sorry, Yishat. I didn't mean to be-"

I cut her off, "That's fine. Where is the bow?"

She looked anxious, which turned my stomach. "Where is the bow, Paiiyi? Tsu'tey's hunting bow. I hid it under a pile of baskets- you helped me. You were the only one who knew that it was there."

"They took it," she croaked, looking away. "I'm sorry, Yishat. A warrior took the bow, and now I don't know where it is."

I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my head in between. They likely burned the bow, thinking that Tsu'tey was dead or was not coming back, and would not need it. I knew Tsu'tey probably would not mind much, but this hurt me more than I could ever have imagined. It had been a catalyst for all that had happened so far, and I'd let it slip away. I should've taken better care of it. In part, I'd seen it as the part of Tsu'tey I truly owned. Now, it was gone. Even though I could not even touch it without pain, I had become attached to this piece of wood.

"Okay, okay," Paiiyi cooed, "we won't talk about Tsu'tey."

"Let's not," I agreed, sinking down into the hammock once more, "tell me about you, have you met some Na'vi you favor?"

I could almost hear Paiiyi's smile in her voice as the words started tumbling from her lips. She had met a young Na'vi who was training to be a hunter, one rank lower than the warrior, and once he obtained the rank, they would mate. She admitted that they'd known each other for a while, but they really started to connect these past couple of moons, and decided recently that they were meant to be mates.

As I listened to Paiiyi ramble about her mate-to-be and what wonderful things he had done for her to show her his devotion, I could not help but feel sour inside. Was I doing the right thing by choosing Tsu'tey? He did not bring me flowers or take me flying on his ikran... I shook my head, ridding myself of the thought. It was too late to think of that.

* * *

A'mari'k's POV

* * *

Siryanin was in a foul mood when she emerged from the Home tree with Toranyu by her side, face expressionless as always. I sensed that it was he who made her so. At first I had difficulty recognizing her, for she was fresh faced and left much of her ceremonial garb in her quarters. As soon as she saw me, she managed a smile.

"Head warrior, we meet again. Please, lead me to your warriors."

I nodded respectfully, and exchanged pleasantries with the two Horse Clan members as we strolled at a leisurely pace to our training grounds. I had made sure all was set up here to be perfect when they saw it.

Siryanin's eyes lit up when she finally took in the sight of my warriors, training side by side, and sweat glistening on their bodies. Yes, they were well trained.

Then our moment was ruined when a voice called from behind, "wonderful sight, is it not?"

Siryanin turned to greet none other than Jakesully and Tsu'tey, who bowed respectfully. Tsu'tey leveled me with a gaze, and I sent him my own. Jakesully looked upon the training warriors, who noticed him and faltered just barely in their movements. "If I may ask, where and how have you acquired these weapons?" He didn't ask in a way as if to single me out. Instead, it sounded as if he had rehearsed this with me. Siryanin's attention turned towards me, and I replied,

"We made them ourselves. A Na'vi should always work with weapons that are close to his heart, and one never gets closer to Eywa than to build one's own weapons." It had hurt me to say it so, but it satisfied Siryanin and Toranyu immensely. Jakesully smiled deviously. He knew he had taken the weapons away. Here we were with a bunch of our own, and now he knew where it came from. I clenched my jaw and wished he would leave soon. Of course, he wouldn't.

"Please," Tsu'tey said to me, smiling like he never did. "Give us a tour and tell us about your warriors. We are eager to see how you've improved."

"Indeed," Jakesully cut in, clapping Tsu'tey on the back. "This Na'vi was a head warrior before I snatched him away, one of the best, too. I'm sure he has nothing but the best to say about our warriors. He did, after all, train them himself at some point."

Siryanin laughed, delighted. "This is indeed a warrior clan! I am seeing such strong Na'vi in such great numbers, it is incredible."

With the tiniest of sneers, I led them around the area, and each warrior we came to paused and greeted us politely. I came to Ti, and she did the exact same thing. She even smiled and spoke good things of me when prompted, something that surprised me. I had struck her just the night before- I had not expected her to be so kind. Perhaps they'd finally come around and realized that they had to follow me or they would be nowhere.

After we'd made the rounds, I was feeling very defeated. If Jakesully does not leave, I have no hope of accomplishing anything.

"Oh!" Siryanin exclaimed suddenly, "I would love to see the warriors' cove today."

Jakesully looked at me suspiciously, and was just about to say something when Toranyu spoke up with distaste. "Oh, not again. I would like to stay here, if at all possible."

"That is no problem," Siryanin said smoothly, "I know you and Olo'eyktan Jakesully have much to discuss, so we will leave you here. Is that alright?"

Tsu'tey stepped up, "I will accompany you."

"There is no need, I assure you. A'mari'k is a very kind Na'vi and has treated me with nothing less than with the utmost respect."

Oh, if there was an Eywa, I would've dropped to my knees and offered my thanks. But alas, it was something far less mystical- it was just the trusting and ignorant nature of the Na'vi standing beside me. Yet it was also what drew me to her so tirelessly.

"I see," Jakesully nodded, "I hope you enjoy yourself."

I shot him a smug look and took Siryanin's hand, leading her to the warriors' cove. My heart was pounding in my chest, as if a heavy rock was being thrown back and forth. Once we were out of earshot, Siryanin looked to me with a challenge in her eye, "You don't seem to be on good terms with your Olo'eyktan. Why?"

I had not thought she noticed. I acted surprised, "why would you think that?"

"There is an energy flowing between the two of you that is not friendly."

Sighing, I brushed aside some foliage hanging from the trees above, and the warriors' cove came into view. Siryanin gasped when she was close enough to take in what was in it.

Piles upon piles of bows, arrows, daggers, poison syrup, and more were being made. "What is all this?" She motioned to what could only be described as a safe hold of death.

"Those are our weapons, head warrior." I told her calmly, watching as her head turned this way and that, mind working diligently.

"This is not right. No clan should have this number of weapons, not even for training purposes. And this," she took hold of an arrow and slid her finger upon the tip, her flesh slicing and giving way like a ripe fruit. She yelped and took it to her mouth, "These are not weapons for training- they are for killing."

I decided to make my move then, but first, "Never mind that. What do you think about our Olo'eyktan?"

"He is very kind."

"But you know what he was?"

"I do." She eyed me warily, "we all do."

"So you understand that he is not a true Na'vi?"

Siryanin looked at our stronghold of weapons once more, and I could imagine she was putting the pieces together in her mind as we spoke. "He does not rule properly?"

"You could say that. My warriors and I are not happy in his rule."

"Why? What has he done wrong?"

I took a deep breath, "Firstly, he directs funds away from our training purposes, away from the clan in general. We have no room to build or to expand, since he is sending our funds to the neighboring clans."

Siryanin's eyes narrowed and she took a step back cautiously, "he is wise in doing so. The Omaticaya clan has exhausted their supplies from re building their Home tree, and your clan would do well to make good connections with other clans for future support. Is that not why I am here?"

Swallowing, I realized that this female was wiser than she made herself out to be. "My only wish is to see my warriors flourish and the land ruled properly."

"How would that be?"

"If the clans could come together as one," I started, only to have her cut me off, aghast.

"Head warrior A'mari'k. I do not wish to hear any more of this. When I met you, I assumed you were kind and had good ambitions for your warriors and clan- now I know where your eyes truly lie.

What you do not understand is that the clans already are one- under the rule of Eywa. We may do as we wish, but it is she who decides all. Your Olo'eyktan is wise in all that he does, and if what I think is happening here is true, my clan will decline to sign any further treaties with yours over trading or otherwise." She spat at me, turning on her heel to rush out of the cove. I took her hand and stopped her, causing her to hiss and recoil at me. She took a dagger from her belt and swung it towards me.

Before it hit me, I flung it away as if it were nothing, noting her startled expression. "Your clan is nothing," I told her, "You have strong horses, but your warriors are nothing. You do not understand that everything has changed- Jakesully is a dreamwalker, and just by being here, he upsets the so called 'rule of Eywa'."

Siryanin shook her head decisively, "No, it was Eywa who welcomed him into our world. Eywa allowed him to live, Eywa…"

"There is no Eywa!" I threw her away from me, watching her stumble but keep her balance. I expected her to run away, knowing that what I had planned was lost. But instead, she stayed, "what are you saying?" Her voice sounded so much like a wounded child that my resolve softened for a moment.

"There is no Eywa." I repeated seriously, "Eywa is only in our dreams, for she is alive because so many believe in her. Even Olo'eyktan claims to be servant to Eywa, a being that does not exist. Could you imagine what progress we could make if we pushed aside the concept of Eywa?"

"But-" Siryanin stammered, "she is in everything, she is everywhere… She punishes those who are-"

I took her gently by the shoulders and turned her around so that she may see the setting light. "Is this Eywa's work? No, it is not. I ceased to believe in this concept of Eywa many years ago, and the light still falls every night. No, it is not because of Eywa that everything in this world is full of life. The life is dependant on each other, not Eywa. If you look closer, all can be explained independently, and as a whole, they make up this world. There is no Eywa. Even the tree of souls- that is a compilation of all that we know, and even though I cannot explain it fully still, I know it is not the force of some being capable of thought."

Siryanin put her hands over her ears and sobbed, "No! Please don't tell me this!"

I took them away softly, "It is alright to be afraid. You are ignorant, but you lay dormant in it, like a baby. Once you realize the truth, you will no longer be ignorant. Together, we can turn those who choose to be ignorant and dumb, and we will rule the land together. The land is ruled by hostility- but we can create peace. I will respect you for the beautiful Na'vi that you are, and you will be my Eywa."

"Is that true? Do you promise?" Big eyes looked up to mine, glimmering under a film of tears. I knew then that I had won. This Na'vi was no warrior, but she would make a good mate. "Please let me go," she entreated, "I must speak to Toranyu, and maybe he will turn around to this. If I may tell you, our Olo'eyktan has become very displeasing. You may be right- the clans are becoming more hostile, and our Olo'eyktan knows not what to do."

And so I let her go, filling to the brim with pride. Suddenly my cup emptied, knowing that I would have to leave Ma'hi behind. I refused to believe our inability to mate was because of 'Eywa'. I was just not ready, and perhaps I had a rather stunning attack of anxiety. She had no place in my war, and hopefully it would not hurt her much to see me go. We had not mated, after all.

* * *

Despite what I told him, Zuku still had much to say. "I don't want her with us," he spat spitefully; "we are strong enough without her or her warriors."

"Have we not spoken of this before?" I asked him, thoroughly exhausted of the constant bickering which meant nothing to me. "Enough! At this very moment Siryanin is pleading our case to the adviser-"

"And what if he refuses? He seems a very sensible Na'vi." That was Ti, checking over our weapons store for the last time.

"If he refuses, then so be it. We will leave this clan by nightfall, with or without Siryanin. She is only an addition, one that we can easily replace. Does that please you, my brothers and sisters?"

Scattered acknowledgments sounded. My group of warriors has dwindled somewhat over the past few moons. Some Na'vi decided to remove themselves from the plan as they found comfort in what Jakesully now offered them. I could not begin to express my anger and disappointment at these Na'vi who threw their hard work away for an extra sack of grain. Now there were less than twenty warriors with me, but their numbers were enough still.

Jakesully had never offered me anything, stating that my quarters and rations were already adequate. As Ma'hi did not produce any children for me, there was no need to improve my living quarters or add to my personal rations.

Siryanin was to return here to the cove and inform us if all went well. As light drew back behind the trees and there was still no sign of her, we grew restless. Finally a figure stumbled clumsily out of the trees just outside of the cove. It was not Siryanin.

"Yishat?" I stood abruptly, violently gesturing the warriors to scatter, so no attention would be drawn to the huge weapons storage. I exited the cove and took my hands around her shoulders, leading her away. By the way the light was falling; Yishat would not be able to see much past me.

"What business do you have here?" I demanded none too kindly of her, but my eyes softened when I saw her stiffen and look down.

"I am sorry, brother. I have not seen you for long, and I know you must be training hard. Ma'hi has arranged a fruit basket for you." Yishat indeed was presenting me a rather lovely assortment of fruits and nuts. I looked closely at her, trying to determine if the basket truly came from Ma'hi.

Finally, I decided, "The cove is rank with sweat. You will not do well there. My warriors have already eaten, but I have not. Now, tell me what is happening at the Hometree." I was sucking information from her, and Yishat did not suspect a thing, it seemed. Poor girl, despite all my attempts to get rid of her, she is still a thorn in my side. Her ignorance is unprecedented, and it is no wonder that Tsu'tey would not even care to tell her the truth. Nonetheless, she may now prove to be useful.

She peeled a fruit and brought it to her mouth, the juices dripping down her chin. I did not hold back- Yishat would not poison me, but she did seem wary of me. Last time I had offered her fruit, she seemed to be taking unnatural precautions against me. I suspected it was due to Tsu'tey's warnings, for I saw her stumble as if in unknown territory. She had no reason to fear me. I would not poison her, for that would do me no good. Despite she is to be mated with Tsu'tey, she herself holds no political standing whatsoever. Poisoning her would only bring trouble to me.

Yishat told me of trivial things at first- what bowl had fallen over, Jakesully's headdress was missing… I began to think she was going to be useless when she finally said, "head warrior Siryanin seems to have gotten in an argument with Toranyu. She has shut herself in her quarters with him and is not coming out. We are all very worried, particularly Olo'eyktan and Tsahik."

"You are their servant," I said solemnly, "You are one that is close enough to hear their words. What are they saying?"

I said this with the utmost kindness, and so Yishat's demeanor and calm mood did not change. "I cannot say. They talked about a lot of things. Trade, food, warriors, land… Mostly other clans. She did say something about our Olo'eyktan not being a true Na'vi, and she was lucky that Jakesully was not nearby when she said this, or else he would've…"

"Enough, Yishat." I told her, rising onto my feet with a sigh. So Siryanin had failed. Night was falling fast, and I could almost feel nearly twenty pairs of eyes drilling into my back from the cove. _Fine. Fine, then._

"Oh dear, it is late… But you have only taken one fruit! What am I to do with the rest of this?" Yishat whimpered pitifully, taking up the basket of fruit that still looked fresh and presentable.

A devious thought came to me then- it would be the last blow. "Why not serve them to Siryanin and Toranyu? They would doubtless enjoy the fruit. It would likely raise their mood."

Her eyes lit up, "Yes! That is an excellent idea!"

Before she could turn around and dash away, I caught her arm. "Firstly, let me take this to my warriors and see if they would like anything. They will not take much, I promise." To this, she nodded and relinquished the basket.

I brought it into the cove where Zuku was wordlessly waiting with a bowl of poison syrup- the kind we used to dip arrowheads in. The poison was colorless and tasteless, and when introduced to a creature's body, it would cause uncontrollable bleeding and eventually death. I do not know exactly what could happen if it were to be eaten, but I have seen a nantang suffer from severe diarrhea, vomit and eventually die of dehydration after ingesting it.

I started to pour the thin liquid onto the fruit, eyes wide. When should I stop? Halfway? I didn't want all my efforts to be in vain, so I put in all of it. Quickly, Zuku tossed the fruits in the baskets and mixed them so that the poison coated every one and looked just like a healthy sheen of water. It did not look any different than when Yishat had brought it in. I All of this had only taken a few moments. I stepped outside once more.

"My warriors seem to be picky today; is this still presentable?" I gave her a humored look, and she smiled.

"It is fine, brother. I'm sure Siryanin will appreciate it much- we have had to finish the fruits from the feast last night, as they would've spoiled. Siryanin was asking for more, but we had none. Ma'hi picked these fruits herself, so it would surely please her much!"

I smiled to myself, watching her leave. So Ma'hi would be blamed for poisoning Siryanin. Why? The others would ask. It would be easy to explain- Ma'hi saw me with Siryanin and was overtaken with jealousy. Then she poisoned the fruit and sent it to me, but I and my warriors simply kept some fruit and did not eat it. Yishat had no proof that I or she had eaten anything, and the three poisoned fruits lay on the table in the cove.

"Stop planning," Zuku reprimanded me when I told him what I was thinking, "It is too late for that. We must move now. By the time Siryanin is poisoned, we will have started our siege."

"No, not now." I told him, effectively stopping all the warriors in the cove in stunned silence. "I want to hear her suffer. I want to hear all of them."

"A'mari'k," Zuku called out to me, but I was lost in my own delusions. I could not admit it so easily, but I had briefly wondered if Siryanin and I could've ever been. I had not met her for long, but I was still drawn to her, and now I was killing her. I wanted to hear the news; I wanted to see how it played out. I wanted to see Yishat cry out in disbelief, knowing she had been tricked but unable to tell the truth. Most of all, I wanted to see Jakesully with his head between his hands, wondering what he was to do or say as Ma'hi was dragged away, screaming and wailing.

I had done all this. Somewhere deep behind my heart I felt a surging of emotion- I still cared for Ma'hi. She mended my tunics, cooked my food, and I knew every contour and curve of her face and body like my own. We were all but one. But when I thought of my ultimate goal that became clearer each time I shut my eyes, I knew it was for the better. It was time to cut ties.

Zuku looked to Ti, and an unspoken agreement was passed between their eyes. They could wait. We could wait. Besides, I had the most seasoned killers on my side- we could easily overtake Jakesully and whoever else he decided to bring along.

My hands started to tremble, and I began to pace back and forth. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and a feeling of doom settled over me. I had often thought of many ways to kill a Na'vi, but I had never even acted upon any one of them. Now it was happening.

Then the news came. It was Tsahik, and she was alone. She didn't seem to be angry at me, which caused me much confusion. She was taking big strides towards the cove, where she knew I must be. I did not make any move to hide what was behind me, knowing she was alone and vulnerable. Neytiri wrung her hands incessantly and told me without preamble, "Head warrior A'mari'k, you must return to the Hometree at once! Your mate Ma'hi has fallen very ill suddenly."

I felt as if the world was rushing together to one target, which was to the top of my throat, where I felt a tightening. "But- How?"

"I know not!" Tsahik told me, already dragging me by the arm. "You must come fast!" And then she saw what I was hiding in the cove, her distance being sufficient to peer inside. "You…" She trailed off, nodding to herself, face becoming grim.

Then she turned and ran away. She ran and ran, looking nothing like the graceful Na'vi I knew her as.

"Go after her," I told Zuku then, "destroy her, destroy it all. I will join you soon, my brother."

Zuku heard the broken whisper in my voice, and nodded. "Do not mourn her for long, brother," he told me as he and my warriors took their weapons and hurried out of the tiny cove like blood pouring from a wound. "She is not your mate, and you need not care if she should die."

As the last warrior left the cove, I fell to the floor, feeling the air leave me faster than I could replenish it. _How?_ Had she tasted the fruit by accident? Did someone feed it to her, knowing it was tainted? How had this happened? I hadn't meant for _her_ to die… And I knew she would, for she was frail and would not live through such an ordeal.

Sitting here in the cold silence of the warrior's cove, the place where I had stored so many memories in its cracks, and the place where I grew up… I would never see it again. Suddenly I had the urge to run away, to escape from all this I had brewed up with my own hand, to live alone in the forest as Tsu'tey did.

But my feet were rooted to the earth, and I was unable to move.

* * *

Yishat's POV

* * *

"Is this the basket he asked you to deliver to Siryanin?" Tsu'tey had asked me when I brought to him the basket of fruit.

"Yes," I had said. "I am sure he has done something to it, though. I told him what you asked me to, and he seemed very agitated. I believe he may have poisoned this fruit."

"Good. Leave it here. Jakesully will soon be back, and we will take care of this."

But moments later I walked past the now empty room where the basket of fruits was held, and there was my sister, Ma'hi, who was pressing a fruit to her mouth, devouring it hungrily. The juices streamed down her chin as she savored her prize. She saw me and gave me a look of guilt. "I am sorry, Yishat. I was so hungry, and I recognized this basket as mine. I understand it is for the Horse Clan warrior, but please don't tell-"

Then her eyes rolled back in her head, and she dropped to the floor like a piece of chopped wood. A call of help caught in my throat, and what came out next was a hoarse scream. "Tsahik! Neytiri! Please! Help!" I called for Tsahik for she worked near here, and would be able to hear me. Tears already welling in my eyes, I shook Ma'hi left and right, horrified at how limp she was. "Ma'hi! Sister! Please, answer me!"

Neytiri entered the room and took in the sight quietly at first, stunned. The panic came to her later, when she realized Ma'hi was not breathing. "I will get my medicine box," she told me, already hurrying away. I was alone again with my sister, who started to spit white from the mouth, lips becoming pale.

Cold terror shot up and down my spine, causing me to sweat profusely, the salty liquid mixing with my tears. Ma'hi could not die- she is my sister, and although we may not have been the closest, she loved me, and I her. I cared for her when she had troubles, and she talked me through mine. We played as children, and I knew all of her aspirations, fears and secrets. It was not her time.

I was never used to death- death to us Na'vi happens slowly, with slow acknowledgment that dulled the pain. Elders died of illness or they would know themselves that the time was near. Young Na'vi seldom died. Ma'hi was too young and innocent to be the first Na'vi to die of murder. She didn't deserve to be a consequence of A'mari'k's actions.

When she didn't respond and her limbs started to shake and convulse, I stepped back and collapsed into myself. My hands came around my ears as a stampede of other Na'vi suddenly barged into the room like water bursting from a broken dam. I shook myself and uttered small cries, unable to see or hear as Tsu'tey scooped me up to my feet and held me to his chest. Neytiri had not returned. In fact, no one knew where she was.

Jakesully took one look at the situation; he put his hand on my shoulder for one moment, and then left. Tsanten, a skilled physician with extensive experience with herbs, was kneeling over Ma'hi whilst four Na'vi held down each of her limbs. She had still not taken one breath.

_It is poison;_ I wanted to shout at them. _Don't bother- she is gone. Please, persecute the one who has killed her! _

But I could not, for Tsu'tey was pressing me so close to his chest that I could do nothing but cry, sucking in huge gulps of air in an attempt to calm myself. It made my sobbing worse, and eventually he was holding me up. Ma'hi's body was now covered fully in an angry rash that caused her entire form to balloon. Then she coughed, and hope came into me for a moment before it fled and left me even lower. The screams and cries that tore out of her mouth were worse than that of any wounded animal I had ever heard. They were piteous and each cry made me sob harder until I could no longer see. I felt faint, and Tsu'tey had to carry me out.

"You had not had to do anything after all." Tsu'tey whispered to me, as if those words were supposed to calm. Then a new layer of distress came upon me- guilt. It was I who had put the fruit there- I should have watched it more closely. I could've warned Ma'hi or led her away. Instead I wandered aimlessly and sent my sister to her death.

Siryanin and Toranyu were running towards us, looking very distressed. I slumped down the wall and tried to tone out Ma'hi's horrible wailing as Tsu'tey explained the current events to Siryanin and Toranyu. I had no idea how he had put it, but both Horse Clan members turned very pale. They said something to one another and turned around, not even taking one glance into the room in which Ma'hi was suffering. I was suddenly filled with hate for them and for A'mari'k, for I knew Siryanin was the one who was meant to be screaming and wailing in pain.

I hung onto Tsu'tey's arm, forbidding him to move. We stood there together, holding each other as the last trace of light escaped from the sky and Ma'hi's cries finally stopped. Against my better judgment, I stumbled into the room once more, and saw my sister. She did not look like her former youthful self at all- she looked swollen all over, but at the same time she was hollow. Tsanten pressed a sharp needle into her arm, and drew it out once more. Little blood stained the needle, meaning the blood within her had ceased to flow. My sister was dead. This sent me into another round of sobs as I wondered what my parents would think when they found out.

"Jakesully will take care of it all," he told me when I had calmed a little, "we had not had to do much after all- A'mari'k led himself to failure."

I stared despondently at nothing in particular, and he caressed my braid. "You were brave, Yishat. You have lost your sister but saved the peace of all the clans. Granted, you may never be acknowledged for it, but you have done a great thing."

"No." I whispered brokenly, "I was only on the periphery of everything; it had been Eywa all along. She used me to get back the balance that A'mari'k disturbed. Don't you understand, Tsu'tey? This is the second night. The one I have has been struck in the chest."

"Then the next night will be something to look forward to, will it not?" He kissed my forehead, and suddenly I was wondering what exactly we were doing here.

"But A'mari'k… He may be even now attacking the clan!"

"No, he is not." Tsu'tey released me finally, after what seemed like hours. He walked me to an opening in the tree, where I saw down to the base of the tree.

There was a huge gathering of Na'vi like nothing I'd ever seen. They opened up in a circle, in which stood Jakesully, many warriors I recognized as being part of A'mari'k's scheme, and A'mari'k himself. He was a piteous sight, tied up and too tired to struggle.

* * *

TBC

* * *

Are you confused? All will be explained in the next chapter- you may be surprised. Please take note that I do not research much stuff other than names and... Actually, I don't do much research at all. I still hold by my belief that each culture has their dark side, despite what they may believe in. :)

**I updated within a week!** This is like... Insane for me. I hope I can keep it up. **Please review and let me know what you thought of this chapter! Remember: Chapters come faster with more reviews. :D  
**

**-Jasmine  
**


	11. Healing

**A'mari'k's POV**

* * *

The blows had come, quick and fast. I was just picking up the last arrow when Jakesully entered the cove. They startled me so that I nearly dropped everything I was holding as I gaped at them. How had my warriors allowed them to come here? Did they think I had already left? I was outnumbered.

Two Na'vi grabbed my arms roughly and bound them behind my back, forcing me to kneel before the very Na'vi I hated the most. "A'mari'k," Jakesully boomed, "you are charged for the murder of your mate and for the attempt to assassinate Head Warrior Siryanan and Adviser Toranyu."

_"Charged?"_ I shouted at him, glad my voice did not betray the fact that my bowels had practically turned to water, "how can that be? There are no charges! You have never charged anyone!"

"There are now," Jakesully replied lamely. "You are the first Na'vi who has attempted a crime so severe in much time, and we think a charge is appropriate."

"I have done nothing!" I spat, "you have nothing to prove my guilt!"

A sad smile spread on Olo'eyktan's face, and he motioned the Na'vi holding me down to stand. I was then half pushed, half hustled into walking behind Jakesully towards the Home tree. I could barely believe what was happening, but I knew at any time now, my warriors would come and hack off his head. My warriors would save me.

But they did not come.

"I did not do anything! I have not done any wrong!" I shouted again and again, but no one gave any indication that they cared what I said. Then Jakesully felt pity for me, and told me dispassionately, "you will be given a trial during which you may strive to prove your innocence. If you have truly done nothing wrong, you have naught to worry for."

I was silent for the rest of the short, uncomfortable trip. I was thinking of all the ways things might have happened to lead to this, about what could've happened and what I could say to get myself out of this situation. I could not think of anything after that, not even of Ma'hi, the face of whom became more and more vivid in my mind. I came to the Home tree, where a large amount of Na'vi had gathered.

They stopped their chatting when they saw me, and all faces fell. I felt like a disgrace, walking bound and humiliated. Yet I kept my head high- I would fight until the end. There was still hope yet. However, more and more I was noticing that something was wrong. There was no indication at all that an attack had come through here. Where were my warriors?

I was thrust carelessly to the ground, and I could not even catch myself before I fell. My hands had been bound by a thick rope and I fell face first into the dirt floor.

There were two chairs in front of me, and I knew immediately who these were for. "Na'vi of the Omaticaya tribe," a feminine voice sounded somewhere to my left, "We are gathered here today for a grievous trial." It was Neytiri. I righted myself up but she refused to look at me, instead addressing the crowd. "Head Hunter A'mari'k is charged with the attempted murder of Siryanin of the Horse Clan, and the death of his own mate. Ma'hi passed on when Eywa's light lifted away. Eywa took her spirit with her. Let us be content that she is happy and carefree."

Here I saw red for an instant- _Ma'hi was dead?_ I remembered Jakesully mentioning something about that, but it was now that it finally sank in. I stopped struggling completely and sat dumb as Neytiri recited all that I had done. I could not hear her.

"I am innocent," I told her defiantly, which caused the crowd to murmur, their voices rising and falling like the buzzing of an irritating insect.

Tsahik spoke no more and took one of the seats before me. Jakesully walked before me and fixed me with a poisonous glare, and I knew at once that whatever I said or pleaded would make no difference. He sat beside Neytiri, and the trial began.

"Please," I said at last, "tell me how my mate died. I tell you that I am innocent!"

Neytiri spoke at once. "She was poisoned- her sister Yishat found her."

I acted furious, "so it is Yishat who has poisoned my mate?" I still maintained my dignity.

Jakesully scoffed. "Of course not! It was you who poisoned the fruit that she ate. You in fact intended to poison the members of the Horse Clan, but Ma'hi had a craving and tasted the fruit, causing her unfortunate passing."

"I would never poison anyone! Why would I want to do that? Besides, I have no knowledge of poisons- Yishat is a hometender, and has knowledge of what herbs may kill. She is jealous of her sister, who is mated whilst she is not." I searched the crowd for Yishat's colored beads, and I found her just at the edge of the crowd. She was pale as she looked at me, and many eyes followed my eyes and scanned her for any signs of guilt.

Jakesully smiled grimly, "You fell in love foolishly with the Horse Clan's head warrior Siryanin, and wanted to mate with her. However, she rejected you and thus, in your moment of anger, you poisoned the fruits that were to be delivered to her."

"But it was Yishat who delivered the fruit, was it not? How do you know that in the first place? It is not true! I am mated to Ma'hi!" I felt my palms sweating, my whole body growing cold and very tired. I was being backed into a corner, and I looked left and right for any of my warriors that would stand by me, but they had all disappeared. One blow to the next, I could not put together the pieces of the puzzle that left me here.

"Stop blaming the poor Yishat," Neytiri snapped impatiently, "Why would she poison the Horse Clan's head warrior, whom she barely knows? The girl has no political standing and would gain nothing. Doubly, her sister has died from a consequence of your foolishness. Yishat held nothing but love for her sister. She is soon to be mated, and therefore she had no jealousy and no reason to harm her sister. How dare you pin your sins on her?"

"Furthermore," Jakesully added, "the fruit she was eating was tested. The poison seems to be of the kind the warriors used to dip arrows and blades in. Yishat would've had no way of getting such poison."

I drawled tiredly, "so one of my warriors poiso-"

"It was none other than you, and here is your warrior to prove it." Jakesully cut me off and motioned with his hand. Then, none other than Zuku stepped out from the crowd, looking very distressed. Ti trailed behind him, looking equally worried. I stared at them blankly but with much rage. _Traitors, _I thought, _you are cowards and traitors! Why would you do this?_

"Warrior Zuku," Tsahik called, "We see you. Please, tell us what you have seen."

Zuku cleared his throat, and began his tale without once looking in my direction. "I ended training today and the Head Warrior demanded that I rearranged the fruits in the basket the hometender Yishat had brought. It was an odd request, but seeing that everyone else was very busy, I complied and tried my best. Some time after I touched the fruit, my hand began to itch, and now…"

He put up his hands, where a swelling had developed all along his fingers and up to his elbow. Several Na'vi gasped, and Neytiri shook her head. "It is the same as what had happened to Ma'hi," she said sagely, "you will not perish, but your arms will irritate you. It is unfortunate that you are another consequence of A'mari'k's foolishness."

"I hope you are happy," Jakesully began, "that now the Horse Clan will deny any further transactions with us. I imagine this will pass over time, but you have shunned this clan."

"I would not try to kill Siryanin," I swallowed thickly; "it is an accident!"

"Tell me then," the Olo'eyktan leaned back in his chair, "did you plan to unite the warriors of our clan and of hers?"

"…No!"

"So there is hesitation. Please, Warrior Ti, tell us what you have seen." At his words, Ti stepped forward and spoke quickly,

"Just today, before the light began to lift, the Head Warrior conversed in length with the Head Warrior Siryanin. He spoke of a joining of the warriors of both clans, and then he brought up a… Personal joining. Siryanin was not pleased, and tried to attack him, but he disarmed her, causing her much stress. It was by acting to comply with what he asked of her that she was able to escape from him. When she did not return to him, Head Warrior A'mari'k became very agitated, and when Yishat the hometender came bearing fruit from Ma'hi, he poisoned them and sent them to Siryanin."

"That is not true... I am already mated…" I said, knowing that all was lost. I could not believe I was to end here. But they could not kill me- what would they do with me?

I had the thought of blaming Zuku, for it was he who waited for me with the poison in his hand. But then I realized that this was a plan of my own making- Zuku had just been there, holding a bowl of the poison we so commonly used to anoint our weapons. I had taken it and turned it into a murder plot without any urging on his part. He was innocent. _Why would be betray me like this?_ I could not understand it.

"That is what you say... However," someone said, I could not tell who it was anymore. I felt faint. "it seems you are scarcely affected by the passing of your mate. Have you something to tell us, A'mari'k?"

I could not speak. Jakesully closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "You are guilty of murder, A'mari'k. This is not the Na'vi way."

_What do you know of the Na'vi way?_ I wanted to scream, but I could not. I felt a hundred disappointed and angry sets of eyes at me, but I was more confused than anything.

Tsahik continued mercilessly, "you will be retained in a protected area of the Hometree, and will remain so there until we have decided upon your punishment. Do you have anything more to say?"

There was a silence, which I broke by laughing lightly, causing Jakesully to cock his head to one side. "What if I told you that I was part of a plot to destroy this whole clan? A plot that included many more warriors, some of whom are here right now?"

Tsahik sighed, "That would only increase the scale of your punishment, A'mari'k. Unless you can name them, you would only be bringing more harm upon yourself by admitting such a thing."

"I can," I told them, watching Zuku stiffen just slightly.

"But have you evidence?" Jakesully asked, leaning forward.

I thought of the weapons we had made immediately, and brought it up to Jakesully, who turned to Zuku. "The Head Warrior A'mari'k had us make them for preparation to join forces with the Horse Clan. We did not know it would come to this, and he had assured us ahead of time that they would accept. We made them with honest intentions, Olo'eyktan." He looked down, and summoned a heartfelt statement, "I am quite horrified at what has become of our leader."

_"You-"_ I flung myself at Zuku, who did not even flinch. I could not make it far, and only fell on my side, causing me to cry out.

"Enough!" Jakesully waved dismissively, and the crowd which was then roaring, quieted down. "You have no evidence against these honest warriors. Furthermore, it was they that informed me of your whereabouts and what had occurred. Why would they sabotage their own plan? We will see you soon, A'mari'k."

I was hauled out in a similar fashion as how I had arrived. I shouted my innocence at the top of my lungs, but it did not make a difference. Eventually I became mute, and was thrown into an empty room. This was where I was to wait out my sentence. I had been here once before, to laugh at those who were too ill to be cured. This room was small and cramped, and should contain absolutely nothing. Yet I looked in a corner and saw a hole dug for me, I looked at another and saw a bowl of food. Jakesully had taken much pity for someone like me. I collapsed then, losing grip of the sturdy floor beneath me as it gave me a harsh kiss.

* * *

Two nights passed, and no word came for me. I knew already that I was doomed, with no hope for release. Jakesully knew of my plan all along, and so of course he would cease this opportunity to capture and retain me. But what would he do? Just as a trial and sentence had not been done and dealt for a long time, neither had an Olo'eyktan truly had to punish a Na'vi for a crime so severe.

I was given some bread, fruit and water each day, but I always starved for more. I knew they would not deny me a greater portion had I asked, but my pride did not allow it. The Na'vi who came in and out of my cramped holding room regarded me with curiosity, but none spoke a word in my presence, which added to my insanity. Each day I mulled angrily over the reason all had deserted me. No answer came.

Finally, on the third day, Zuku came to visit me.

"You are disgusting," he said when he took in my disheveled appearance. I lunged at him at once, but found I had no energy left to harm him. It would do me no good. Instead, I slid to his feet and uttered a single word: "Why?"

"Oh, surely you must know by now."

Relinquishing all the pride I had, I shook my head miserably.

Zuku looked about to make sure we were indeed alone, and sneered at me. "At first I thought I saw something in you- we all did. We saw a way of getting back at Jakesully, who had taken much from us. You were just the figurehead, the one leading the movement but being lead yourself.

We needed a leader with passion and direction, and at first you had it. But then you became insecure in your choices, changing them left and right. You were no longer reliable, which was proven when you lashed out upon us. You were not fit to be our leader, and we could no longer trust you to execute yourself properly. Finally, you failed in the last bit of your plan, and Jakesully had found us immediately- we waited for too long."

"You could've defeated him and all the others," I said brokenly, "Why didn't you?"

Zuku stared at me with empty, cold eyes; cold eyes that I had never seen on him before. "As I said before, A'mari'k, he offered us much. I want another son, A'mari'k. I would be able to raise him with the increased rations. My mate did not know of all this, and I had been ready to leave her, for all my brothers and my son were killed in the war. But now- now I have a new chance. So does Ti, and the rest."

"Why did you have to do this to me? Why could you not have made up a lie?"

"It is because you know too much, my dear brother." He hefted himself up with a rosy smile and headed to the door- I did not move to stop him, staring dumbstruck. "Do you not understand?" He shook his head and laughed, "you were never very bright. I had to lead your thoughts constantly. Now you have become a liability that we must dispose of, in case you should speak a word of us. You almost did- Jakesully knows we are as guilty as you, but he needs his warriors to feed the clan. This is why we must have a leader, even if he is dumb and conceited. It saves the rest of us should something go wrong.

"Perhaps one day we will find another Na'vi, bring him up for him to believe he is important, and one day we will have our freedom. But not now, no. You are not the one, and now is not the time."

And with that, he was gone. I was frozen in shock for a while, listening to the children playing outside, Zuku speaking with a guard… Suddenly I was deaf save for a hollow ringing in my ears, and the truth hit me like a bunch of frantically scrawled words.

I then let out a wail so loud, it seemed to shake the great tree itself down to its roots.

* * *

I was still horror-struck by Zuku's words when Jakesully entered my dimly lit room. The place now smelled of vomit and stunk of sweat, from all the times I doubled over in frenzy. He was alone. I looked up at him tiredly, and pleaded with my eyes that he have mercy. _I was used,_ I wanted to say, but it would not deter his sentence.

"Tsahik and I have decided upon your punishment. You are now stripped of your position as Head Warrior, forbidden to own any weapons in the future, and will be confined to a corner of the hometree where you will study with the home tenders. You are also to have no prolonged contact with any warrior except Tsu'tey, and will work exclusively with Lady Mo'at and Yishat, if she wishes to accept you. Each moon cycle, Lady Mo'at is to dictate to Tsahik and I an account of your actions. You will learn her craft and make yourself useful, and you will not cause any further trouble for us."

"Who will be Head Warrior?" I asked dazedly, though I already knew the answer.

"Tsu'tey, of course. He is willing to accept you as his friend and brother, as he will soon mate with Yishat."

I brought myself before him and knelt at his feet, feeling three nights' worth of pent up panic and severe distress wash through me. It was done, and they were lenient- they had not cast me out, nor have they taken my life. I could still find happiness.

It was useless to plead to him now- he would not listen or would not believe me. Yet I saw the pity in his eyes and knew he understood of my suffering. I was not evil- I was simply lost, and I was used. He himself was used as well- unable to persecute the true offenders for the sake of the clan. Such was the responsibility of the Olo'eyktan.

"Thank you," I rasped, unable to believe what I had been told, "I thought I was to be exiled or sentenced to death!"

Jakesully shook his head slowly, allowing an oddly paternal smile to show on his face. "Even from before I came to this world, I did not believe in death as punishment. Even the lowliest creatures can accomplish great things, something I know personally. I had always believed in rehabilitation and transformation, not death. Each life is to be treasured, A'mari'k, and I hope one day you will begin to accept that. I want you to forget about all of this, and hopefully you may forgive me for being what I am.

"You will now join the mourning for your friend, Ma'hi. I understand you were close with her, even though you were not mated." He touched my shoulder gently, and I could not help but press my hands to my face to stop the tears of joy, feeling my breath come in great gulps and gasps.

"Thank you," I told him again, but he pulled away from me.

"Do not thank me- it is Eywa who has taught me the true meaning of life, of being alive and constantly transforming. You must give her your thanks. Bring your head to the life-giving soil and sing your praises to her, for she has given you a second chance."

* * *

**Yishat's POV**

* * *

To Na'vi, death is both mourning and celebration. However, for Ma'hi, no one knew just how to act. She had not been ill or old, and she had not accomplished much. She did not have any children or grandchildren, and so it was my parents and I who were responsible for her ceremony.

Thankfully, the dreadful swelling had disappeared, and my sister was looking much more like herself. I took a soft cloth and drew it across her body, washing her gently. She was no longer limp, but was firm and smelled sickly sweet.

"She would probably like it if her hair was washed," Paiiyi said to me as she fingered Ma'hi's oily hair.

So we washed her hair, scrubbed it gently in a basin of water as if she were alive. I was transported back to just a few moon cycles ago when I was blissfully unaware of A'mari'k's intentions, and all I knew was that my sister was suffering. I'd washed her hair then, and together we became closer without knowing it. Now I was repeating the same actions, but under some much different circumstances. Ma'hi's hair was thick and shiny, and I knew she would've made a perfect mother.

Paiiyi was drying her hair now, smelling the thick strands and nodding her approval. "She is with Eywa now."

"I know- but why did she take her… When I needed her?"

"Oh, come now…"

From then on, we worked wordlessly. I clothed her in her best dress, the one she rarely wore save for special occasions. Paiiyi was arranging fragrant flowers in Ma'hi's hair when my mother stepped into the room, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I thought she was going to faint, what with the way her legs started shaking.

"I am well, Yishat," she told me when I approached her cautiously, "I never thought this day would come so soon." Her brow furrowed and I knew she had been through it all. The anger, the depression- she'd accepted it. Mother was always good at hiding her emotions, but still I worried if one day it would all become too much. "Why did he have to take her…" she was mumbling, eyes wild. "Why did I give her to him?" Suddenly she stopped as if in mid sentence, and looked at me.

She held me and wouldn't let me go- "You will mate with Tsu'tey, yes?"

"Yes, mother." With a slight bitterness in my heart, I realized that my mother saw me as a shadow of Ma'hi in some way. Things were happening all over again- her daughter was going to be mated to a reputable warrior, and they would have sons. Many sons. It was a way for her to shy away from the bitter pain of Ma'hi's death.

"I can't bear to look at my poor daughter- I feel unwell. I am going to rest until the ceremony, unless you need me?" My mother was desperately trying to escape this room that smelled so strongly of death and unspoken words, fading memories.

"Of course, mother."

* * *

Tsu'tey was waiting for me when Paiiyi and I emerged from the Home tree with Ma'hi's corpse in our arms, covered with a pure white cloth. In our clan, death is a public matter, and all Na'vi would send their good wishes towards the spirit and prayers to Eywa. Ma'hi had always liked attention, and she would've been proud if she'd seen the sheer amount of Na'vi that had been waiting for her.

We brought her to a tall, beautiful tree with old, rough bark that she so loved to lean against ever since she was young. At the roots of the tree, a slight hole was dug where she would lie. The tree's roots would cradle her, and when she became one with the soil, her physical body would live on in the tree.

No one spoke a word as I lowered Ma'hi to her last resting place, the wind caressing my face like a soothing song. I was numb with sorrow but also swelling with gratitude that this was all over.

Jakesully and Tsahik walked forward, hand in hand. "We are truly sorry for your loss, Yishat."

I bowed respectfully, hearing my mother break down into sobs for the first time in so long. My father was there, holding her upright and reassuring her with his logic that Ma'hi was finally happy.

"She passed in pain," Tsahik said without preamble, "but that makes her release even sweeter. Eywa will reward her for the honest choices she made."

Then the flowers were thrown. One by one, Na'vi approached Ma'hi's grave respectfully and set a flower to her breast. Eventually Ma'hi was so covered with flowers and beautiful things that she looked ethereal. She was beautiful in death, even more so than on the day of her mating ceremony. She looked as if she were only sleeping.

Suddenly the crowd parted like a piece of bread being broken in half. There was A'mari'k, in a plain tunic and humble beads. He had a haunted look about him, and no one knew what to say to him. I knew that if Jakesully and Tsahik were not here, these Na'vi would not have hesitated to throw rotten vegetables or some such things at him. But Jakesully was here, and regarded A'mari'k with something akin to pride. "So Ma'hi's closest friend is here. What do you say, A'mari'k?"

Tsu`tey moved forward to shake his hand, and I saw A'mari'k hesitate. "You called me brother," Tsu'tey said to him as his hand met the other's, "I still see you the same way."

A'mari'k came to the root cradle where Ma'hi was held, and stepped back. He gingerly dropped a delicate, pink flower into her grave. I remembered it as the flower he had brought to woo her such a long time ago. "I cannot express my extreme sorrow at what has happened. I do not feel I am deserving of..." He did seem genuinely upset and very overwhelmed. Not being able to complete his sentence, he seemed a child, utterly hollow and defenseless. Yet I personally did not believe he received a proper sentence. I would have to work with him, teach him the craft of basket weaving and fruit picking- see him every day, the murderer of my sister, the one who tried to accuse me of his own crimes. I could not believe this was what Jakesully saw as punishment.

Speaking of Olo'eyktan, he turned to me now and motioned me to come forward.

Once again, Eywa was drinking up the light and spirit of Ma'hi, causing the nearby flora to glow brightly. Tsu'tey pushed me forward himself, but not before whispering a few words in my ear:

"This is your last night, Yishat. For one night, you are Eywa. It is your duty to release your sister's soul."

Shuddering under the weight of all these expectations, all this growth and awakening that I couldn't quite understand, I started to speak.

I spoke of Ma'hi's short life, the great opportunities she possessed and the love she bore for her fellow Na'vi. I called out her name many times, as I knew that we must refrain from speaking her name from now on. _To speak the name of the dead as if they were alive is to disturb their rest, _I had been told. I looked down at Ma'hi's peaceful face and smiled slightly in acceptance. Yes. This was it for Ma'hi, but she would live on as long as we spoke her name or thought of her face, her laughter, her smile.

Slowly, we became more and more alone until it was only Jakesully, Tsahik, Tsu'tey and A'mari'k who accompanied me.

Neytiri took my hand and pressed it to her heart. "I see you- you are beautiful."

"As are you, Tsahik." I bowed deeply, a flush coming to my cheeks despite it all.

Jakesully smiled warmly at me. "You have accepted your sister's death as a necessary step of transformation, but will you accept A'mari'k, the Na'vi you once called brother?"

No, I can't, I wanted to say. I could never forgive this monster that has put me through so much suffering, confusion, and…

Then I realized that A'mari'k was still in some way the same as when I first saw him. He still had an awkward tail and an uneasy way with others. He now looked at Jakesully like a child looking upon his much accomplished father, and I knew he had changed greatly, but there was still a long way to go. I no longer held any dislike for Jakesully anymore, and had even come to accept Eywa for all that she is and is not. I had transformed myself, and so could A'mari'k.

Suddenly I was filled with a joy so deep that I wanted desperately to share it with A'mari'k. I had grown internally, and my life was now fuller than I ever thought it'd be, despite all my recent losses. And all this was due to A'mari'k. I may have lost a sister, but I had gained a mate and a true brother. I reached within me in surprise, expecting to find the hate I had once felt and stored within me for this Na'vi... But my heart was empty save for the love of my family, of Tsu'tey, of the clan that supported me and of an unspeakable, indescribable _That._

My legs felt light as air, and I could not help but laugh. I threw my head back, fell to my knees in front of Ma'hi's grave, and kissed the earth. Yes. I was finally home, and I could forgive.

* * *

The day Tsu'tey decided to make public our desire to mate came like any other. We'd settled into a strangely comforting life where we shared three meals a day, saw each other at regular intervals and laughed. A lot. I returned to my former life, skinning beasts and sewing tunics, learning the craft of basket weaving with Lady Mo'at and Ka'iil. Tsu'tey returned to his former post as Head Warrior, and gained the respect of his warriors rapidly. They were, after all, once under his rule. _Zuku's mate was pregnant again,_ Tsu'tey had told me one night. _He is very happy. _Does this mean they will not attempt the unthinkable again? Perhaps not, perhaps so. I must forget about the future, for it cannot ever be known to me, and let go of the past, which I cannot change. Why worry when I had such a wonderful life in the present?

I don't think I'd ever been so happy before, and surprisingly much of it was due to A'mari'k.

I had forgiven him easily, much to my amazement. This Na'vi who was clumsy and sometimes shy but who dared to annoy Lady Mo'at made a charming companion. We began speaking as acquaintances at first, neither of us comfortable. Then we somehow became closer, and finally he had a long talk with me. I came to realize that he made mistakes, and was fully aware of the scope of what he had and could have done. We were sharing a bowl of fruit one morning when he abruptly began to spill out a heartfelt apology. "I was confused, and I didn't even know it," he told me, "I am lucky that I am still here and more so that you have forgiven me."

"You are, brother." I was near tears at this point, seeing not a trace of his former self in his eyes. These were the eyes of one who had seen much, done much, and regret more. A'mari'k was living a hard life- catching glimpses of the Na'vi who had condemned him and taken everything away from him and not being able to tell the truth. Jakesully and Neytiri saw it as a necessary sacrifice to ensure the prosperity of the clan, and A'mari'k agreed wholeheartedly.

"I am happy for you, Yishat. You will live a good life with Tsu'tey, who is a good brother to me and will be an excellent mate for you."

I laughed, "Yes- but I do wish he would hurry up!"

A'mari'k's eyes gleamed, and suddenly there was a chuckle from behind me. Tsu'tey's hands came over my eyes, "there are some things you just can't rush, Yishat. Now, come with me."

He let go and led me out of the dining hall, my heart leaping with each of the two steps I had to take to match his single stride. "Where are we going? What are you doing?" When he didn't reply, I felt a surge of affection for this Na'vi. I knew he had planned something magnificent.

I came to smell his surprise long before I saw them. "Those are Opay flowers," I choked, throat constricting with emotion. These were one of the rarest flowers on this world, and sometimes, if they were lucky, some Na'vi may have them at their mating ceremony. Ma'hi had the dust, oil and paste of these flowers slathered all over her at hers, making her look like a star. My family had been rich a long time ago, but all of the Opay had been used on Ma'hi. My parents had not thought I would ever mate with anyone noteworthy so soon, and had not left anything for me. As a result, my mother had been reluctant to bring up my mating.

Finally I came to the room, where I stood in shock, holing my breath even though I was exhausted. I felt dizzy. This was Tsu'tey's personal quarters- the Head Warrior's quarters, where A'mari'k used to live with Ma'hi. Here, scattered around the room in thick bushels and bunches, were the delicate flowers that would've taken my father years to collect. When Jakesully and Neytiri had their official mating ceremony after the war was over, there wasn't much left of our old Home tree. Nevertheless, it was so covered with Opay that one could've mistaken the charred tree for Eywa's hand rising out of the earth. These flowers were not extremely beautiful by nature, but their rarity, effects and scent set them apart.

"How did you collect them all? And it's all for me?" I was losing my composure horribly, but you must understand that this meant the world for me. It was like going full circle to the time I was despondent and dull and clueless and turning it all around.

Tsu'tey's reply was a little less than satisfactory, "Of course! I would not have my mate looking so plain."

I knew he was teasing me, and learned long ago not to be too affected by his antics. "Oh, don't bother, Tsu'tey. If you wanted someone that could light up a room, you'd mate with Paiiyi."

"I am fully aware of that, but even though there are many flowers more lovely than the Opay, it is still the rarest- for good reason, too. Now, to answer your question… I took my warriors out to hunt for them- they needed a break from training."

I caught the sarcasm in his words as I thought of the difficulty of collecting these flowers- climbing over hills, holding on to the edge of mighty cliffs… It was not an easy task. I opened my mouth to thank him again, but no words came and I collapsed onto his stool. Sensing my astonishment like he often did, Tsu'tey wrapped his arms around me and we stayed there like this for some time. I felt his heart beating against my back, felt the warmth of his muscled chest and the very _aura_ that he emanated.

"Why me?"

"Hm?" Tsu'tey's hand came to brush my face, and despite myself I recoiled against this unfamiliar attention. This question was bound to come out. We _had_ fallen in love, if you could call it, under questionable circumstances. "What happened to my hard nut? Has she cracked on her own?" To emphasize his poor attempt at a joke, my mate-to-be knocked his head against mine gently. Thankfully, he had more to say. "I wasn't sure what I wanted, and neither were you, I think. But I was nearing the time when I had to look for prospects, and I found you."

My eyes went blind and all the beautiful flowers before me vanished. "You chose me because I was the only one there?"

"That is not the only reason, but the reasons don't matter."

I stood and turned to face him, face full of resolve. I think he actually looked afraid for a moment. "Tsu'tey," I began, voice surprisingly calm, "you have become my whole tribe, the light of my day. Am I yours?"

When he failed to give an immediate reply, my heart fell.

"Silly girl," Tsu'tey took my shoulders and shook me gently. "Look around you! You are in my personal quarters, surrounded by the rarest flowers in this world that I have gathered for you. You retain the embarrassing memories of I begging for your body, begging for your soul. Can you honestly look back at that now and tell me that I had not taken you seriously?"

I looked into his eyes and saw that they were filled with tender care, and just by looking into them I felt warmth spread throughout me. Then, quite surprisingly, I heard a voice. I knew immediately and instinctively that it was the voice of Eywa.

Don't be scared- it wasn't an old hag voice, or an ethereal, floating sing-song tune. It was my own voice sounding back to me, and when I heard this I collapsed onto his waiting arms, laughing. 'he is speaking the truth. He is speaking the truth.'

* * *

Tsu'tey and I agreed that we should mate on the next auspicious day. 'As soon as possible,' he had said. He would organize the ceremony, hunt for food and go around asking for blessings, and mother and father promised to take care of the rest.

I stood now before Neytiri's door, and was given permission to enter almost immediately.

"I have been expecting you," Tsahik smiled widely. "I see you, Yishat. Come, sit."

After the usual formalities were exchanged, I asked her for a foretelling of the next few days.

"You wish to find a good date for your mating, yes?" Neytiri chewed on a long stalk of something I couldn't recognize, and pulled up an ancient, weathered scroll that looked in pieces. She bowed over her work, fingers trailing from one line to the next, squinting. "Yes, you are in luck. In exactly three moons is a very auspicious day. Flowers, they say, will bloom brighter on that day and a doorway will open directly to Eywa."

If I were any other home tender searching for an auspicious day to plan their ceremony, this would've been the greatest thing I could ever hear. Instead I uttered a nervous laugh. If this kept on, perhaps Eywa and I would become close friends soon.

"Do not be afraid, dear." Neytiri rolled up the scroll again gingerly, "Ma'hi would not resent you."

"That is not it, Tsahik."

"What is it, then? Are you perhaps displeased with Tsu'tey?"

"No, it's simply that… I still feel incomplete somehow." I never even knew this of myself until now, which surprised me. This, I thought, must be the true power of Tsahik.

The proud Na'vi I was speaking to nodded sagely, "You have grown much. You are different from before, much different. A time ago, you were lost, and now you are found. Yet you are still displeased. The first time you came to me, you were sour and held much hatred for Tsu'tey. Now that is gone, and it is good. Yet that time, you were very adamant that you did not want to mate. Do you feel much different now?"

"I want to be his mate, I want to bear his children." I looked into Neytiri's eyes with much effort, hoping she would not hear the trembling that had suddenly come into my voice.

"You are unsure," she diagnosed what was wrong with me instantly, "you are overwhelmed and you do not know anything but what is expected of you. Yishat, look at me. Here. My eyes. Yes... You must know that you need not do anything you do not want. How do you feel right now?"

"Fine." I was becoming very afraid, for I knew where this conversation was going. I should not have come here- I should have asked my mother for a good date. Neytiri was once again performing a soul searching ritual of sorts that was making me doubt myself all over again.

"But you are not happy. Mating is a permanent thing, Yishat. Once you mate, there are many things that will become untouchable for you, many choices that you will no longer have the power to make. Are you sure you want this?"

"Tsahik..."

"Are you sure you are done with what you have begun?"

I had come here full of resolve to find an auspicious date to mate, and that was it. I did not ask for this, and I certainly wasn't about to collapse in front of Tsahik. I did not speak, and Neytiri's glossy eyes bore into me until I felt a heat between my eyes.

She spoke again, slowly, "Do you remember what else you had wanted, above all else?"

I didn't need to be reminded of it. "I wanted to hold a bow."

"Have you tried again?"

My eyes wandered down, then up, "I don't see the point anymore."

Then Neytiri did something very surprising. She rose regally, slipped into an adjourning room and emerged with a long, old wooden box. It was dripping with beads and feathers. She set it in front of me and opened it slowly, blowing away the layer of dust that had gathered on the box. "Look inside, Yishat."

Shaking, I leaned over and peeked into the box. Abruptly I snapped my head up. "Tsahik, this is your bow!" It was the very bow she had held with her when the war with the sky people took away all that we knew. I shuddered, thinking of all the lives that fell to it.

"That is right. Now that I am Tsahik, I have no use for it. Unfortunately I cannot give it to you, but I wish you to see the importance of this bow."

"But why, Tsahik? Why must you tell me this when I cannot hold one?" Surely Neytiri was not doing this to be cruel.

"I believe you should try again, Yishat. It would be doubly irresponsible of Eywa to put you through all this without doing this for you."

With wide eyes, I repeated her words to myself, incredulous. "D-did you just call Eywa irresponsible, Tsahik?"

"I did, and I would not say it if I was not so utterly saddened by your predicament. To hold a bow is to protect yourself, to honor the soul that is within you. To shoot an arrow is to be able to kill, to end and begin the circle of life created by Eywa. Do not fear, for all life returns to the same place to be reborn again. I tell you this because I feel it is my duty. Seeing that you have come so far, I would hate for you to miss the last step of your journey. _Do you understand me, Yishat?_ It is Eywa's words coming from my mouth, and I must obey."

Her every word ran through me like jolts of energy, and I lost all recollection of why I had come here. My hand started to tingle, all the way up to my arms. I was suddenly enveloped in a pocket of silence, and I even stopped breathing in fear that it would scare this silence away. Everything in me felt light as Neytiri's worn war bow called out to me with every inch of its being, with the spirit of the tree it was made from, with the voice of the indescribable.

She held her bow out to me, beads clinking against each other. "You may choose now, Yishat. You may choose to hold my bow and see for yourself how Eywa has blessed you. However, by doing so you may want to hold back your mating for favor of learning the bow, if that is what is intended for you. Or, of course, you may leave. You may leave and live your life as Tsu'tey's mate, bear his children and never know what could've been. Choose now, Yishat."

* * *

**TBC**

* * *

CLIFFHANGER! Muhahaha! I hope this chapter explained everything satisfactorily, and I really want to hear what you guys thought of it. This is really the life-changing chapter, eh?

**Review, review, review and the next chapter comes faster. :D Oh, I like cookies too. :)**


	12. Rebirth

It should have felt like it was all coming together- like everything I had had to do up until now was leading me up to this. But it didn't feel like it. I reached shakily towards the wooden bow, but my hand fell away at the last moment, numb.

Like a child, like a thief, like a murderer, I ran.

How could I give away what I finally had now? When will this balance and peace come again if I'd chosen to lead myself away from it all? I could not be selfish anymore. There were others in my life now, and I could not longer afford to be a wanderer.

I was never one for direction, so why was I so distraught? If I regretted my decision at any point in the future, I could always make it again. Yet by turning away from the opportunity, something flared up within me. I'd given up something for something else, but I'd made the trade without knowing what I would be giving away or receiving.

My first incentive was to search for Tsu'tey like a drowning nantang searches for air, but my legs did not obey me. I strode steadily, purposefully down the halls of Hometree, and I did not shake nor cry. I cannot seek him out like this whenever I feel weak or unsure.

So I went to my mother.

I don't understand why I did this- her advice was always biting and sometimes confusing. How would she react to my decision? Would she care at all?

But what she said surprised me.

Mother led me in wordlessly, fixed my hair, and groomed me slightly, murmuring here and there incoherently. "Why are you here?" She demanded abruptly, frowning. "I have much to do, and so do you."

"I had to give something up today," I said seriously, taking her arm and stopping her just as she was turning to walk away. She looked perplexed, "Yishat, you will be required to sacrifice much once you are mated."

I suppose I'd always known this, but hearing it from Neytiri's lips and then my Mother's… "Can't I still be my own person?" I didn't know what I was saying at this point, but I knew I needed mother to stay with me.

"You will always be your own person."

"But…"

Mother cut me off suddenly, almost defensively, "I want you to go pray."

"Pray?" We were never the praying type. But then I understood why- she either didn't want to help with my problems or wanted me to figure this out on my own.

"Maybe it could be helpful for you. It helped for me when I mated your father." Mother was saying this so casually, but I knew better. Mother and father were not in love when they were mated out of convenience. Mother never had the feeling of someone being her whole tribe, despite it being the description of true love she'd taught me ever since I was small. In a way, it was very sad. I'd never considered how hard it might have been for mother until now.

I still don't know how my parents see each other. Mother would always be there for father, and he for her. But there were never any kissing, passionate words of love, or the spontaneous gifts some Na'vi males produced for their mates. Father was too quiet, oftentimes seeming lost in another world altogether. Mother never complained, so I suppose she didn't need love. I would still think she was happy.

So I let her lead me to a large rock on a hill a great many steps from Hometree. Here, I could see the wilderness of forest that surrounded the plains overgrown with wildflowers. I could see all and nothing at the same time. Mother pointed to the stretch of green across the field, "do you see the woods? The leafy heads of the trees that surround us? Are these wise heads shaking or nodding?"

I told her I didn't know. Some shook one way, some another. Then she asked, "Do you see the animals, the life, and the insects that sustain themselves in the woods?"

Again, I didn't know since I couldn't see so far. I saw only a harsh barrier of greens and yellows.

Mother and I sat down on the flat slab of rock, "What is it that stands out above all others?"

It was the first thing I noticed about this horizon of wood, "that bright red tree, the one that burns up the whole wood."

"This will be your life forever. Seeing but not seeing, understanding and then not. Others will judge you, agree and then disagree. But they all hide their essential selves from others, and you only discover their true form when you move ever nearer. The red tree is different in color, different in size and shape. This red tree is you, because only you know yourself to be separate. Yet if you took a leaf from its mighty branch, you see that the leaf bears the shape of the tree, its creator. It is the same as the others, yet different and thus beautiful to our eye. Just as the leaf, we all bare the mark of our creator."

She stood slowly, as if to leave me here. "I don't know what you have had to give up, but I know you will find solace here, as I did. I wanted the same things you do, Yishat. I wanted love and romance and a mate that embraces me."

My head shot up, taken aback by this sudden confession. Now I saw that my mother was flawed just like I was, no longer the mighty and perfect Na'vi I'd always seen her as. I was almost afraid to ask, "Do you regret it? Mating with father, I mean?"

But mother refused to answer, save to advise me to stay here until my mind has cleared. It would be dangerous, she had said, to make any important decisions in my muddled state.

I was soon alone again, staring at the red tree that stood out so vividly from its green counterparts. I understood mother's words and the reasoning behind them, but what was this feeling that I was missing something? Like I was supposed to be making some important discovery on my own, but I just wasn't seeing it. What was I missing? If Tsu'tey was here, I told myself, he would know.

But does he know what's best for me? _Of course not, only I can know that!_

Decisive that I wasn't getting anywhere here on this rock, I strolled towards the tree line to get a better view of this red tree. As I drew closer, I smelled the gamey scent of the forest, of all the animals and flora that lived here. Coming closer still, I could see the marks of life- a fluttering of wings here, a rustle of leaves there… Until I was stepping on what seemed like a loamy, well worn trail that led me straight to the red tree. I had not noticed this trail from far away.

I drew ever closer to the tree, and the sounds of the forest were overwhelming. Animals were howling in the distance, insects buzzing- at any point I could have twenty pairs of eyes watching me, stalking me, but I continued in my aimless journey. It was then that I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath wasting away.

Someone had tried to cut this beautiful tree down. There, cut into its thick trunk, were no less than a dozen rough and deep axe marks. These marks were made with furious, desperate hacks, as chunks of wood were gone. My fingers trailed over the mutilated bark, and I wondered silently how this tree had survived so with such a wound. Flakes of wood came from the ragged edges as I touched them, and I realized these marks weren't made by an axe. It all made sense now. Each deep cut was made of countless deliberate stabs and scrapes made by a dull hometender's skinning knife.

* * *

"I don't need you to be happy for myself."

Tsu'tey set down a bead necklace he was studying, and set his gaze on me. "That is true." I could tell he was concerned, probably worried that my shaky resolve had finally broken. "What is wrong?"

I took a deep breath, and answered his question with another. "When we are mated, will you let me do as I please? Or would you rather I stayed home and birthed as many sons as I could?"

It was an unfair question, even I knew that. Tsu'tey's face strained to form an adequate answer, "what comes will come. It is not in our control, but in Eywa's will. If no sons come, then so it will be."

"But that is surely why you wanted to mate with me, yes? To have an hier?"

Tsu'tey shrugged nonchalantly, a smile tugging on his lips, "I just wanted to mate with a certain Na'vi called Yishat." He came towards me from the table until he was a hair's width away from me, yet he did not touch me. "I have a gift for you. Close your eyes."

His presence and sure words soothing me completely, I let my eyelids fall as I anticipated his surprise. Had Mother ever wished for this to happen to her? Did she ever wish father was anyone else? What was she like, before she married and bore us? Maybe I wanted things to stay this way. I didn't want to be mated- not yet. I wanted to pursue my fate, to find what-

Something was set in my hands.

It was thin, long and warmed by the sun, and it was unmistakably wooden.

My eyes shot open.

"It's my bow," he reminded me, "I found it in the training area- there must've been a mistake." Then he started laughing at me, because I was there, holding his bow, holding his bow_, holding his bow_… And it was not being taken from me. I'd done everything I possibly could so far to avoid this moment for feel of failure. I had even seriously considered delaying the mating until I could get this figured out… But he was here, and he was happy. All the trouble I went through was rendered useless and unnecessary in one moment.

When I recovered my senses, I held on to the bow with both hands, delighting in the way the supple wood flexed under my fingers. I started to laugh, and Tsu'tey kissed me soundly just before I crossed the line from surprise to insanity.

"You may have it; I believe I promised it to you," he told me when we drew away, me still clutching the wooden bow like my life depended on it. "It doesn't feel right in my hands anymore."

When the initial excitement died down, I could not help but worry, "what happens now?"

"Nothing!" Tsu'tey said, surprised, "why should anything change? I still love you, and you will need to stay on my good side if I am to give you hunting lessons after the mating."

Then his voice grew dimmer in my mind as the full force of what had happened took over me… I felt faint, my hands were cold and numb from the tight gripping, and then Tsu'tey was saying something like "…we can try to hunt our own food for our mating day! …Yishat, you will never bring anything down if you shake like that…"

* * *

"What do you plan to do now?" Mother asked wearily as she took my hair and bound not one, but two braids down my back. "You understand that you may never have children if you wish to lead a warrior's life? Yet if you chose not to, there will never be a time appropriate for you to wield a bow."

"I know. But I don't feel like I'm pressed to many any choices at the moment, so I will mate with Tsu'tey."

Mother obviously didn't like this idea of me not knowing where I'm heading. "You feel comfortable with your future resting on a pinpoint like this?" She slid flowers by the stem into my glossy braids, one by one. No two of the same colors could ever touch each other- mother was meticulous with this.

Paiiyi chimed in from her seat on a stool next to mine, "why do you think you were denied it until now?"

"I… I don't know." I could not speak much, as Paiiyi dusted my lips with the beautiful powder that made me glow. I couldn't help but think that my journey had just started. It didn't make sense, to make me able to use the bow at this time- to do what? What was I supposed to do? Had I somehow missed a step? No, that couldn't be right.

I shook my head instinctively, causing both mother and Paiiyi to gasp in frustration. I couldn't go on like this anymore. I was going to live my life as I wanted, and no fear of an unfulfilled prophecy would dare haunt me.

"Odd," I mused, "it doesn't feel like something I'd wanted for so many years now that I've achieved it."

A voice from the opening to this tiny hollow startled all of us, "I sure hope you're not speaking of me." Of course, it was Tsu'tey. He was accompanied by none other than Jakesully, who clapped him hard on the back playfully. "Well, my old friend, it seems like your life is complete."

Tsu'tey fought him off and some bawdy jokes ensued that made Jakesully seem more like a close friend than chief of the clan. Eventually he backed down and left Tsu'tey alone, smiling warmly at me before a wall cut him from our sight.

My future mate shook his head with amusement, "he and Tsahik are very happy for us. In fact, Tsahik is at this moment making a charm for you to protect you in pregnancy!"

My hand instinctively flitted to my own abdomen, where my child would be. Tsu'tey chuckled, moving my head this way and that to admire Mother's handiwork, to her utmost displeasure. "One step at a time, my hard nut," he teased gently.

One touch to my cheek and mother almost fainted from anger. "Out! Out!" She took a broom and literally swept him out like an insect. "Now the powder must set again!" Despite myself, Paiiyi and I shared a few laughs over mother's almost obsessive personality. If there was one thing she would always do perfectly, it was a mating ceremony.

Jars of Opay powder, crushed from the flowers Tsu'tey had gathered, were unsealed and smoothed across my skin. I had never thought such a luxury would be possible for me. Paiiyi took care of the last details, and mother smoothed my soft leather tunic. Father had made it for me, and I knew this was true because he'd made it many sizes too big to begin with. "I hadn't realized you'd grown thinner," he shrugged, unembarrassed, when we all knew that he was preparing for the future when I would be round with child. "I suppose your mother can fix it."

"Of course I can," came the haughty reply. I kissed father anyway to show my gratitude. This was the Na'vi who had hit me for disgracing him, who had compared me mercilessly to Ma'hi. But as he was now, with cheeks warmed by embarrassment and palms sweaty with work, I could not help but smile.

A bead necklace, a necklace of shells, a collar of bones and a band of tiny flowers decorated my neck, and I was strictly instructed to smile whenever possible. Mother had to teach me to smile properly, claiming that my smile showed too much teeth and was not graceful. "Good spirits are scared away if they see your menacing face- they will think you are a beast! Smile all the time, always."

And so I did. I smiled continuously, foolishly, pointlessly. Eventually my heart lifted light into the air, and the laughter came interrupting. I was going to be mated! Me! Yishat! My thoughts wandered here and there, imagining this room filled with people… Then I thought of Ma'hi, and to my surprise my smile did not fall. "It's okay to be happy," I murmured, more to myself than to anyone else, "this is why Ma'hi does not come back. She wishes to feel her happiness through us."

While all this was happening, father sat to the side, looking into a point in the distance. Recently he had been very quiet, which was cause for concern for both mother and I. Father always gave off an uncaring attitude, but when he set his heart on something, it could always be counted on to be done well. Father delivered all the requests to come to our mating ceremony, though practically everyone in the Hometree knew about it anyway. Then he threw himself over the best berries he could find and concentrated on brewing the best batch of ale he'd ever made.

"It tired him," mother quipped kindly, "he does not mean to be so distant."

I looked at one of father's skinny, dead arms and wished I could take away the anguish that caused his back to slouch and knit his brow. I was about to say something when Mother gasped, "they are waiting for you! We must hurry!" With my limited movement, I craned my neck as best as I could to gaze out an opening at the gathering at the base of the Hometree. All these people… Came for me? Mother quipped at me to stop moving while she put on the finishing touches to my face.

Paiiyi smiled, "you won't know most of them, but they will demand food from you nonetheless."

I laughed, causing mother's hand to slip again and a curse to fall from her lips.

* * *

I stepped out knowing that I looked like a goddess, that I looked beautiful, that Tsu'tey was rooted somewhere on his feet in amazement. _Somewhere._ I just couldn't find him. I had somewhat anticipated all of this, but what I did not expect was the incessant teasing.

"What is Yishat's favourite time of day?" One female Na'vi would ask, "it doesn't matter," replied another giddily, "as long as she is in a hammock with Tsu'tey!"

Another would pipe in at the most inopportune time, "What is the difference between Yishat and a stream of water? Not much, because the Head Warrior gets soaked when he enters either!"

"Stop it!" I would cry, to their utter bemusement. I have never even seen some of these Na'vi women before, and now they were making jokes at me! My face was red with what could be a mixture of embarrassment and heat, and I the others found great joy in this. Finally I found Tsu'tey, staring at me from the middle of a crowd of Na'vi. As soon as our eyes locked, Tsu'tey was shoved forward by a collective effort and deposited in front of me.

Everyone grew silent, and Tsu'tey fought over his twisted tongue. His bony, thick jaw tumbled this way and that, but no words came out. "Beautiful," he finally managed to say. Loud, raucous laughter broke out all around us, and soon we were a part of it. Jakesully and Neytiri stepped lightly through the crowd, holding hands as usual. Jakesully gave an encouraging smile to the both of us. "Now now, before our friend can carry off his catch, we need to perform the blessing!"

Tsu'tey and I knelt first, and was joined by father, mother and a very reluctant A'mari'k. Thankfully, no one threw anything at him, so he remained there. One by one, Jakesully and Neytiri passed over us, sending their powers beaming through the crown of our heads. "You will be very happy," Tsahik said suddenly,_ solemnly_, though we weren't sure to whom she was speaking to. A Na'vi appeared with two bowls, one filled with water and the other oil. Jakesully wet his fingers in the bowl of water and dabbed it onto Tsu'tey's forehead. A few moments passed before an oiled finger pressed onto the exact same place.

I witnessed Ma'hi's ceremony, but I had not heard the whispered blessings exchanged until now. "For your mind, to support your body," said Jakesully as he continued to anoint another three times, "for your strength, to support your mate. For your feet, to hold you firm to this earth." he said finally. It had been such a quiet wisp of a blessing that I'd missed most of what was in the middle. One he was done, however, Tsu'tey jumped up and gathered me to his arms. The festivities began once more, with Na'vi jumping in joy and dancing.

Father had rolled out his barrel of ale, and was almost immediately swarmed. He managed to send me a weak smile before collapsing into a stool, so I promised myself that I would do something very kind for him. The feast table was set up, but the Na'vi were more interested in us than the food, which was unusual. A'mari'k joked with Tsu'tey constantly, causing him to grow embarrassed as well. While he guffawed with A'mari'k, I slipped away to taste some of the food mother prepared. Before I reached it, I was once again outnumbered by young Na'vi women that seemed to derive endless pleasure by humiliating me. "Oh, let Tsu'tey listen to this one, too!"

And so Tsu'tey was dragged over, looking very much out of his element. "Do you have need of me?" he asked me casually, but this was enough to set off hoots of laughter. I couldn't believe this was a mating ceremony! I'd expected it to be… Much more… Serious? Surely this couldn't be! Had Ma'hi's own celebration been like this? I could not have known, for I was too upset over Tsu'tey the entire time to be paying attention. But A'mari'k and Ka'iil sauntered over, looking already a little drunk, and joined in our torture. I was surprised to see Ka'iil, the good, rational Na'vi, looking so unkempt. His hair was a mess and to be honest, he looked like he'd been drinking for a long, long time.

"A miracle hangs near Tsu'tey's thigh," one Na'vi woman began, and immediately I tried to run. Paiiyi grabbed me from behind and blocked off my escape, forcing me to listen to more of the hideous joke. "It's hard, long and its tip strong," another Na'vi added, and I was suddenly questioning if this was planned. How come every Na'vi knew the joke but us?

"Oh! Oh!" Paiiyi clapped her hands in excitement, "when he lifts his loincloth, this miracle emerges, and after completing its duty, piercing a hole-" here Paiiyi had to stop, because Tsu'tey looked as if he might die. I was not faring any better, but girlish gossip like this was surely easier for me to deal with than him. My mate turned a little green, which warranted a break from the jokes. "It is a sword!" A'mari'k laughed, throwing an arm around Tsu'tey good naturedly, "what did you think it was?" The small crowd around us laughed heartily, and clapped A'mari'k on the back. This was a nice surprise to see A'mari'k regaining status in the eyes of the Omaticaya, but I had no time to mull over it. Sure, he was drunk, but it was something. They'd forgiven him.

Tsu'tey laughed a little when he understood finally, and then we were made aware of some kind of game that involved catching us and making us do ridiculous things to one another. Casting manners and etiquette to the air, Tsu'tey grabbed my wrist and we ran laughing like animals escaping from a fire. The laughter of our family and friends chased after us for what seemed like forever until we were in the plains, quite a bit from Hometree.

Before I could take in even one gulp of the fresh prairie air, I was tackled from behind and we both fell to the ground, giddy with happiness and hope for the future and _oh-!_ This was the Na'vi that was my whole tribe, and here _–now-_ nothing mattered but him and me.

I asked him no more questions of why, how, when, for with his love he'd given me an answer to all questions now and even those that were still to come.

"You look like a goddess," he remarked, gazing at me with great tenderness. As he moved from his position above me, the end of Tsu'tey's old war bow struck my thigh.

"What were you planning, my mate?" I smirked as Tsu'tey had to think twice to determine of what I was speaking of. Then realization dawned on him, and his face lit up. "I did promise to teach you to hunt, Yishat. I didn't think we would need to use it, but I am hungry, and this time your sour fruit will not please me."

Though I was excited for the prospect, I was also apprehensive. "Does it not take many years to master the bow? All young hunters train for years before they are even able to be brought into the presence of an animal."

"That is correct," Tsu'tey agreed haughtily, "and that is why you should be happy that you were blessed with an excellent warrior to demonstrate to you."

"Blessed indeed," I teased him mercilessly, feeling my tail flicker here and there in anticipation. I took his hand as he reached for me, and he led me silently through the waist length dry grasses that covered the field. His eyes searched the field actively, his whole body fluid with the grace of an experienced leader. "Do you hear that," he whispered, "that is the sound of a herd of grazing talioang."

I stopped, all joking spirit having fled from me, "they are dangerous, and we are not prepared." Talioang were heavily armoured animals with a vicious protective streak, and were known to stampede when upset or startled. Killing a talioang was considered a rite of passage for any fledgling warrior, much like taming an ikran. Often times, it took a group of warriors to take one talioang down, mainly because of the tactic involved to drive it away from the crowd so the rest of the animals did not stampede.

My mate shrugged casually, "you are right. I am not afraid, of course, but a talioang would be too great a meal for us. It takes five Na'vi to drag the body to Hometree, and it would be too much of a hassle now." I was interested in his words, but my eyes kept flitting to the beautiful wild flowers that dotted this field, hidden pale and delicate in the hideous dry grasses. They smelled spicy, and I thought of Paiiyi, who still had not conquered her odd habit of consuming flowers. Tsu'tey did not seem to notice my attention drifting, and so I let it wander. To be honest, I was more interested in the movement of the muscles in Tsu'tey's back than what came out of his honeyed mouth.

"You are not listening to me, Yishat," Tsu'tey said suddenly, looking very cross.

"I'm sorry, Head Warrior."

My words had the desired effect, as Tsu'tey visibly relaxed his body. "No, I should not have done this. This is our mating day; I am your mate, not your leader. This is not a day to teach you to hunt. I am sorry."

Just as he finished speaking, an eerie hush fell over the field. Tsu'tey tensed again, and moved slowly to take his bow out of its sling. Afraid to move, I turned my gaze to our left, where several adult beasts scrutinized us from an uncomfortably close distance. "Don't move," Tsu'tey hissed low at me, and I froze. After several long moments, the giant beasts lowered their armoured heads and started to graze.

Suddenly, a twig snapped somewhere, and the herd of talioang reared up, roared and charged.

Thankfully, they went in the other direction, the ground reverberating with the impact of their hooves. When the dust cleared, we discovered what had caused this commotion. "A yerik," I whispered with awe. I had seen many of these graceful creatures being skinned and cooked, but never one alive. This six legged animal had obviously wandered away from its herd in search of its favourite food, but was badly startled by the stampeding talioangs that barely missed crushing it.

It was disorientated and stumbling. I felt pity for the poor animal, watching him wander in confused circles before promptly dropping dead as Tsu'tey's arrow pierced his throat.

* * *

"How long do we have?"

Tsu'tey looked up from the chunk of meat he had just been gnawing on, "Until we return? We have days- they wanted us gone."

"They did?"

"Sure. It's customary for a group effort to be exerted to get the couple out of Hometree so they can mate. I didn't think they would do it so quickly, though. Usually it's done so that the Na'vi involved don't run away or back out."

I laughed lightly, "did they think one of us was going to run away?"

Tsu'tey took the piece of fruit I was just peeling and it disappeared into his mouth. "With the way you were acting, they could've assumed anything." I bit down a whimper of guilt, thinking of if Tsu'tey had been worried that I might run away.

We stared into the fire we'd built together, now charring the scanty remains of our meal. It was dying, smoke rising thick and smouldering into the darkening sky. Tsu'tey's gaze slid to me, two shining, glassy orbs in the darkness. The specks of light on his forehead and body pulsed with his desire. "But I'm here now," I murmured, feeling Tsu'tey's strong fingers removing one by one the flowers hiding my braid. I imagined I was sweaty from the heat of the flame, the opay that made me shine like the moon was dimming, and my fingers were sticky with fruit juice. It was not what I'd dreamed my mating day would be.

I suppose I had wanted to mate beneath the tree of souls, beside a waterfall pouring into a great ocean or something like that. Most Na'vi wanted to mate beneath the tree of souls, but Tsu'tey was here, so where else did I need to be? Every fibre of my being called out to him, and when he cupped my face in his hands, a shiver ran down my spine. Why had I ever thought of denying this Na'vi?

Then his mouth was on mine, and I forgot everything but to hold on for dear life. Tsu'tey kissed like he hunted; first slow and assessing, cautious, tender. And then something would snap, and he'd come to life with all that he is, with the fiery passion of a confident warrior chasing his prey, searching for a weakness. He'd find that weakness. He always had.

I knew the basics of mating; we would connect our queues to form a bond that lasted forever, otherwise known as tsaheylu. We would then fall asleep, and Eywa would project to us in our dreams our future.

Tsu'tey took the end of my braid in his hand and searched my face for any sign of resentment. I hoped I gave him the reassurance he was looking for, because his eyes were like a beacon calling me home.

As children, we learned about the bond we would eventually make with our other half. It had been praised in innocent songs by oblivious children, joked about by those just on the brink of understanding, told in sagely manner by the old… But none of it mattered when the time actually came.

"I am a river reed," I said suddenly at the last moment before we were connected, eyes glazed over, "I bend and twist, but nothing breaks me." Those had been my father's words; as Ma'hi was the breakable pot, I was the strong yet yielding reed.

Tsu'tey smiled then, "And so I will be the wind in which you dance."

* * *

_I stood in a field of yellow mist and watched what must've been my faceless mate turn round and round, in some kind of bizarre dance. The world around me started to spin, but I wasn't ready to let go yet. I stumbled and crawled to my faceless mate, and when I touched him, he turned into nothingness. I felt myself become light as air and heavy as a falling beast, paralyzed on my back, watching the sky grow dark. I was eventually held up by two strong Na'vi, but what startled me about them was that they had faces._

_And they called me mother._

* * *

When I awoke, I remembered only bits and pieces of the strange reverie that had overtaken me. I did not remember the faces of the Na'vi who aided me, and as I wracked my memory, it grew even dimmer. Soon I recollected nothing but a general feeling of both horrible emptiness and great joy.

Tsu'tey did not tell me what he had seen, but the first thing he did was to pull me into a tight embrace, taking deep breaths from the nape of my neck. "Eywa did not reject our union," he whispered sadly, "but it seems-"

"Nothing," I interrupted him boldly, "nothing. We will live happily; there can be no other way. We are here now, are we not?"

He must've seen something very frightening, for he clung onto me tighter with every word. Then all of a sudden, he released me. I took a deep breath and waited.

"Nga yawne lu oer", he said with the most sincere voice I'd ever heard. He took my hand in his. "Come to me."

We were lying in a nondescript field in the middle of nowhere, but were nonetheless surrounded by all the beauty that was Eywa. We felt her thick in the air and noted her pulse in the earth. Tsu'tey beckoned to me, and as his mate, I followed him. After this night, I would love none but him, and would have no home save for his arms. I wanted the warmth of a home, wanted the love of a mate.

"Please," came a strangely desperate voice that surely did not belong to my mate, "do not ever leave my side."

"I am here now," I said again, sliding my body over his and silencing his mouth with mine. Here pressed to him, I felt once again our hearts synchronizing as one, and our bodies, made of the same earth, calling and yearning for each other. Tsu'tey slowly lifted my skirt, and we did not at last separate until morning.

_

* * *

_

Sometimes it's difficult to acknowledge that a great story of courage and love was ending before your eyes… But the morning came, and Tsu'tey's fingers were caught in my hair, my body lying pliant and warm on his. My eyes met his, and a silent agreement was made that another chapter of our life –perhaps one of the most exciting- had ended.

We would not be able to return to this exact spot again, and Tsu'tey stopped me when I attempted to take a souvenir from the flowered field. We led ourselves back to Hometree, and the path we'd took last night looked despairingly different in the day. Passing by the same herd of talioang, we did not make any effort to remain quiet or inconspicuous. The herd of beasts did not even look up as we floated by on light feet just a stone's throw from them. The entire journey back to Hometree was silent- both of us perhaps mourning for our old, familiar life. I felt Tsu'tey in my skin, felt his heart beating in my chest, felt his spirit dancing in my blood.

And so I stopped being Yishat the Hometender, and instead became Yishat, the Head Warrior's Mate.

* * *

I remembered asking mother how I would know if I'd found true love. What she had replied was both true and false. My perception of love changed over the years as other souls came into and left my life. I never did get to be a warrior, but that was okay; Tsu'tey had not made any promises, and I did not expect him to attempt to change the very structure of Na'vi hierarchy for me. Soon after we mated, it was silently decided that I had much to do at home, and so I politely withdrew myself from any further mention of warrior training before Tsu'tey had to say it himself. I overcame a delusional sense of anxiety of mating with him, finally submitting myself to a new path. That was a long, long time ago.

Now I mended Tsu'tey's shirts like I told him I would, I skinned his kills with the rest of my hometender friends, and did everything I was supposed to do. I even managed to perfect the skill of basket building alongside A'mari'k and Lady Mo'at. Tsu'tey's old bow hung at the wall above our cot, and he amused himself with crafting a sleeker, stronger bow out of the wood of the new Hometree. "The wood is not the same," he'd told me, "but wood is wood, and it will do."

Our life became a repetition of mundane chores, something that should've pleased us. We were, after all, tired of the chaos and hurry that came with something to _do_, right? In some respects, I suppose it did. We enjoyed being able to see and speak to each other in the early mornings and late evenings. We enjoyed each other's company tremendously, and sometimes we sat in comfortable silence, he incessantly carving his bow and I mending and crafting. I was his mate now, and though this routine took a while to get used to, I hardly minded it now.

Paiiyi mated with her hunter shortly after, and I gave what was left over of my opay powder to her. Over the time following, Paiiyi slowly ceased her habit of chewing on flowers, much to the dismay of her mate who seemed to derive humor from it. Her hunter became a warrior and eventually one of Tsu'tey's apprentices. Strangely, Paiiyi began to distance herself from me, for reasons I couldn't fathom. She was not adjusting well to the mated life and the constant pressure of eventual motherhood. I helped her when I could, but eventually we drifted apart to the point of near strangers. It was a sad event, the day she openly ignored me as we passed each other on the way to Hometree. Her young child mewled and cried from his place strapped onto her back, and she looked exhausted.

I had been there when he was born.

I guess change was inevitable; I couldn't expect Paiiyi to be the same forever. As I settled into a new niche as a mated Na'vi, I started speaking with different people, and eventually my life was filled with the voices and stories of other Na'vi. We laughed together, gossiped about our mates, and aided each other if needed. I became somewhat of a celebrity after I mated to Tsu'tey, and young Na'vi girls who sought to capture the hearts of handsome warriors often came to me for advice. In the end I always had to refer them to Neytiri, who set them straight every time.

After all, there was no greater warrior than the one she'd mated.

Ka'iil found a nice Na'vi girl; she was a meek, naïve little thing who never questioned anything he said nor did. I smiled each time I saw them walking into the forests together, hand in hand. I had no doubt that they loved each other dearly, and it would not be long until they mated.

A'mari'k spent his time running errands for Lady Mo'at or Tsahik, sometimes watching over the mundane happenings in the hometree. He seemed so at ease here now, it didn't seem as if he were being punished at all. He made sure all the tunics and loincloths were mended properly, for hometenders often had to mend things that were not theirs, and often made careless mistakes in their disinterest. Even though it was technically against the terms of his agreement with Jakesully, A'mari'k took to teaching young hometenders the proper way of skinning beasts. Most everyone had forgiven and forgotten, and even Jakesully complimented A'mari'k for his clarity in instruction.

Sometimes he ate with Tsu'tey and I, each of us sharing stories of our days apart from one another. We were happy in the presence of each other, and Tsu'tey even let A'mari'k examine his new bow once it was completed. As I'd said, no one really minded anymore. Young children were not told about what happened to A'mari'k, and he was generally accepted now as a male hometender who had a talent with weapons. What was past was past, and as long as I didn't resent him, no one else did either.

The only thing keeping him from living a completely normal life was his fear to wander outside. He feared to see the warriors again; feared to see the faces of those who had betrayed him and used him. Zuku, Ti and the rest of the warriors who were behind the plan that A'mari'k took the blame for were still serving as warriors under Tsu'tey's rule.

"They are much happier now, the lot of them," Tsu'tey was saying one night while the clan gathered at the base of the hometree to enjoy the simple nightly feast. The air was hot and bodies everywhere were glistening with sweat, shining under the warm light of countless torches. "Zuku has another son, and he cannot stop talking about him."

A'mari'k shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing that he may never mate for himself. Despite the leaps and bounds that the clan took to accept him back as one of them, there were some deep rooted memories and beliefs that he could never erase from their minds. "Does he, now?" I put a hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles relax under my palm.

I quickly turned the conversation around, "What shall we name _our_ child, Tsu'tey?"

My mate grinned broadly, making a fool of himself by jokingly trying to feed a piece of fruit to my engorged belly. It would not be long now; Father's tunic fit perfectly, and of course no one was surprised. Some of those who mated after us already had their children, but finally it was our turn.

"Well, that's a difficult question," Tsu'tey replied, "I would have to go to Neytiri and see what she thinks is a prosperous name." Of course it was just like Tsu'tey to feel the need to plan everything through. I rolled my eyes, amusing myself with the thought of Neytiri scaring Tsu'tey out of his wits with the prospect of fatherhood. She was never one for simple ask-and-respond meetings.

A'mari'k looked like he longed to say something but was ashamed as to the possible reactions to his words. I knew what he wanted to say; it was what was on my mind as well. "If it's a girl," I started, voice becoming hoarse, "can we name her Ma'hi?"

A silence stretched over the three of us as the rest of the clan feasted and laughed, blissfully unaware.

"Of course," said Tsu'tey finally, thankfully without much debate. I think he realized the significance of this as well as we did. It just felt right.

I don't think I'd ever seen A'mari'k look the way he did that night.

At the end of the feast, just as Tsu'tey and I were about to retire to our quarters, A'mari'k took me by the arm. "What is it, brother?" I asked when I noticed his eyes wet with unshed tears. "What has upset you?"

"Yishat, you have been so good to me… Thank you."

"That is really nothing to thank me about," I told him modestly, but he interrupted me with a barely concealed sob. "I loved Ma'hi, I really did. I still think of her every night; I think of the feeling of flying that I got when I was with her… That feeling of being loved and part of something so great… Yishat, that feeling…"

My breath caught in my throat.

"That feeling," he continued, cupping my hands in his while my mate watched from a distance away, "that feeling… Felt just like this."

* * *

**-End-**

* * *

And so 'Sour' is complete! This is the first multi-chapter story that I actually completed, and it turned out to be more than 50k words, which is unbelievable for me. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed so far, and I'm sorry for making you guys wait so long for each update. ): Here in Canada, we get freedom to measure whoever/whatever we want, and unfortunately I married procrastination.

But when it comes down to it, I definitely enjoyed writing this, and thanks so much for the continuous support in this fic that has overwhelmed my inbox. I love y'all. ); **I hope everyone has enjoyed this last chapter, and please let me know what you think. **

Please don't kill me for the dirty jokes! ): I thought they were hilarious, and I probably wouldn't take them away even if you come at me with an Avatar guidebook on culture or something. **  
**

Until next time,

-Jasmine 3


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